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Baazi-chan Apr 2019
This feelings I feel.
Is unclear.
You confuse me.
With your unrelated silence.
I want to confess.
But.
I fear.
Your answer.
We speak in riddles.
Most days.
When it gets real.
I feel like running.

Real commitment.
Gives me chills.
We speak of flings.
We speak of real love.
We speak of all things.
Real life.
Nothing brings us apart.
But.
When feelings  gets.
Involved.
We fall apart.

Honesty may break our bond.
Our bond of friendship.
Risks.
Is it worth it.
Will the next step.
Break us down.
Or.
Build us up.
My master piece
For Waseem.
Baazi-chan Apr 2019
I lie here with you.
On my mind.
Your touch.
Your hold.
Your grasp.
Being in your arms.
Is all I crave.
The touch of comfort.
You always gave.
Baazi-chan Apr 2019
Admiration.
Turned to dust.
Uncertain love.
Vanquished.
Through your demons.
Are to much.
For one to bear
For Z
Baazi-chan Apr 2019
It all began in a place like no other.
A house of hope and support
From family , Friends.
Not all was well.
Like it never is.
Life just started feeling good
Until a situation disrupted life.
Negativity entered
Life wasn’t the same again.
Friends come and left
But family stayed of cause.
Not all of them.
Strangers become friends then family.
Through thick and thin they strived in battle.
For the enemy was all around them.
Teaching them their ways of life.
Teaching them to become the enemy.
Baazi-chan Jun 2019
FAMILY,
We all seek.
FAMILY,
Most don't have.
Keep them close,
When you do.
For FAMILY,
Is the most,
Important thing,
There is.

Support structure,
Of most.
Giving us strength,
To pass through,
The day.
Giving us life,
Giving us love,
With no strings.
Present in our lives.
Not always blood related.
Can be friends,
That become FAMILY.

FAMILY,
Gives us hope,
Faith,
And strength.
To face our struggles,
In life.

This is my FAMILY.
With so much love,
You are always,
By my side,
No matter the distance.
I love you,
And,
I miss you.

My FAMILY ♥
Baazi-chan Apr 2019
When we met, you said you struggle to love in short.
As timed pass,
You showed love.
You showed care
You gave comfort.
I felt these things, oozing out of your being.
Later you showed more interest.
You were committed.
To Me,
To Us
You gave me hope.
But.
I got excited to soon.
You started showing reluctance.
You spoke less u
And less
Until nothing was said.
Through body and words.
We become an uncertainty in my eyes.
When it was filled.
My heart was torn to pieces.
Life happened
And like that we become an 'I' again
For Z. The one i wished to love with all my heart. Unfortunately it never got to that point.
Baazi-chan Apr 2019
Stop thinking to much.
Keep your mind busy.
Forget all the thoughts
And the pain attached to them.
Remember the good.
In the present.
And past.
Baazi-chan Jan 2020
Many,
Has come...

Many,
Has gone...

Few,
Has stayed...

Eyes,
Redden...

Lips,
Smiled...

Seemingly,
It all passes by...
For those people you can't keep
Baazi-chan Apr 2019
I wished to start over.
Love become to much.
For my taste.
I left the past behind.
Along with it.
My uncertainties.
Life become simpler.

As everyone knows.
It won’t remain.
For long.

You made a move.
Without my knowledge.
It felt unreal.
Things become certain again.
Love blossomed.
Though tough times we faced.
It felt good.

As everyone knows.
Even happiness.
Doesn’t last.
Long.

Distance become your forte.
Silence your words.
Your mind else where.
Heartache approached.
From no where.
When questioned.
Answers become clear.
With reasons unforeseen.
Love still in the mist.
But uncertainties over took you.
And gave us its end.

You are the love I found.
And.
I am your love you gave away.
For K my first love
Baazi-chan Jun 2019
The things we do,
For people we love.
But wat about "you",
Don't we love ourselfs.
Cause we,
Keep on putting,
Our needs one side,
To help others...
Take care of yourself first
Baazi-chan Jun 2019
Its better,
To forget,
Everything...

Then,
To remember,
Something,
Everyone else,
Forgot...
Wishing we could all forget the pain of the past...
Baazi-chan Jun 2019
My heart,
Is lost,
In another...

And...

It doesn't,
Seem,
To find,
It's way back...
The love i cant seem to express...
Baazi-chan Apr 2019
Me.
I don't ask.
For much.
But when I do.
I expect it to be done.

Am I wrong.
To do this.
Does it sound.
Selfish.
I wonder...

Been doing everything.
For others.
Most days.
Of my life.
With no gratitude.
Given.

Today.
My goodness.
Is not enough.
Am I so.
Enclosed.
For others to see.
I care.
I don't mind.

People throwing.
Lies.
Around like.
Old shoes.
Giving others.
Ammo.
To ruin.
What is a.
Simple life.
I live.

Don't be so.
Hostle.
They say.
Smile.
They say.
But little do they know.
The life I live.
Filled with ******.
I most times.
Can't endure.

Life Mona....
And that's all she wrote.
Baazi-chan Apr 2019
Thru I still think of us.
In the past.
I mask the pain.
With a smile.
The simplest way.
To keep sain.

Though you are in sights.
I resist from contact.
Through I know.
The consequences.
Of going back.

Here I stand...
Sit...
Lie...
With worry.
On my mind.
Did I do...
The right thing?
Of letting you go.
Letting you leave.
With no explanations.

Worry leaves me.
When happiness.
Overflow my being.
Through pretending to smile.
It became a reality.

All I wish now is.
For us to.
Never cross paths.
For that may.
Bring back.
The love.
I have.
Hidden away.
To all my past lovers. Each one has showed me love and gave me happiness for a while.
Baazi-chan May 2019
New found love?
Obsession?
What gives?
Can it be?
I'm over you?
Given
This feelings
I gained
For another...
No comment...
Confusion
Has taken over
Baazi-chan Jul 2019
Finally...
I got ,
The grasp,
Back on,
My heart.

I let,
All the feelings,
Out.
To,
The cause,
Of,
My confused heart.

Unforseen,
Difficulties,
Were faced.
But I came,
Better out,
In the end.

For Love,
Is,
Not,
For,
The faint hearted.

Moving forward...
Is all solution...
Currently...
Move forward..
Baazi-chan Apr 2019
Not all Love.
Is to be.
Known.
By.
The world
Baazi-chan Jul 2019
You were ready,
To be a target.

So said,
Your clear signals.

When...
I took a shot.

And...
It was a direct hit.

You moved...
At the last second...
Baazi-chan May 2019
This thought of you
Away from me
Gives tears in my eyes
Pains in my chest
Your touch
I wish to feel
The amazing times
I wish to revisit

The thought of you
Gives my thrills
Though my body
Wishing
you were here
Holding me
Wipes my constant tears
But when I wipe it myself
I realise you
You wont return
My window has closed
For now

What I do know...
My love for you
Is unfulfilled
Through
My love for you
Never got its due
It runs deeper
Then you can see
Giving you this
And receiving it back
Is all I wish for
From you...
To the one that I'll always love
- B
Baazi-chan Apr 2019
Smiles all over.
All I ever wanted.
Was occurring.
Just got back.
From my dark days.
Life seemed clear.

Then You came.
Gave Your sweet words.
And it was on.
Slowly it become more.
And more.
I fell.
Like no other.
When reality struck.
It showed me flames.
My love for you.
Came unknowingly.
Decided to show You.
Love.
But all you gave.
Was tears.

I received a ticket.
Out.
I took it.
I ran.
You chased.
Silence took over.
Then
I chased back.
You acknowledged.

But when it spilled.
You ran away.
And left me.
In the darkness.
Of my uncertainties.

You are the love I gained unknowingly.
And.
The love I throw away knowingly.
For my sanity.
For B. The one I fell for unknowingly.
My love for you can't be erased.
Baazi-chan Jun 2019
Innocent Bystander.
Love over takes many.
Expressions takes places.
Rejected through,
Feelings not returned.
Many agree.
Others taken,
To heart.
When others fall for you,
But you love another...
Baazi-chan Jun 2019
I miss u so much
I wish
I could
Express these feelings
To you
But you said
I shouldn't cry
I should be strong
Therefore
I don't want to
Cry
Infront of u

I wish i could
Express this feelings
To you
But I'm scared
Of
What you will say
To me
Im scared
Cause i know
This
Will lead somewhere
Good
I know
But im afraid
For my uncertainties
Always takes over
Where emotions
Is concerned
Its my
Defense mechanism
From Love
To keep
My heart safe
For You
From Me

— The End —