Dec 2017 Quinn
Keshia Hayley Africa

Sometimes you open yourself up to a person because you feel and believe that they're different and maybe this time they won't break your heart and that your love will be requitted. So you go out on a limb and open up so much of yourself to this person. Things that you're afraid to tell others about because of fear of being judged or rejected. But there's just something about this person that allows you to tell them everything. You become so comfortable in the presence of that person that you openly admit your flaws, you don't hide it. You just completely lose yourself in love and in the thought and concept of being loved, of being in a relationship and of being with someone that you can be yourself with. The idea of that person just completely excites you and everything about them makes you happy. Seeing them and hearing their voice just helps you in an inexplicable manner and being with them is an emotion of complete comfortability on its  own. You learn to love this person and you accept their flaws and differences. You accept how they might not necessarily love eating McDonalds as much as you do or they are crazy about sci-fi movies where you can't even get yourself past watching a chick flick.
But that's just it, you don't mind.
You don't mind because love is about sacrifices.
Its about sacrificing your weekly episode of The Vampire Diaries to watch the most recent sports updates.

Because you'd rather lose the argument than to lose the person. You'd sacrifice a part of your daily routine all for love. The worst part is that nothing is guaranteed. You're not guaranteed how long you will be in a relationship with this person. You're not guaranteed complete happiness and you're not guaranteed that things are going to be perfect. You just have to trust this person and have faith. Believe the best and hope that everything will work out for the. Best. Believe that even if you break up with this person, that you're going to be ok. Everything is going to be ok, and that new beginnings are perfectly acceptable. Believe that you're going to overcome heartbreak of any kind. You just have to believe that someone out there is looking for someone like you.
What others see Wrong in you just might be the exact thing that will make someone else fall in love with you. And you need to be realistic. Not all relationships last forever. Some relationships are there for lessons and experiences. So that very person that you completely open yourself up to, can break your heart. It could be during or even after the relationship.

But its all part of life I guess. You'll never know how to love someone wholeheartedly if you haven't been hurt before. You just have to turn your heartbreak in to something positive, make the most out of your situation. See the light in the darkness. But learn to deal with things too. Find closure in what happened to you and don't leave a relationship with unfinished business. Because unfinished business will have to be finished sooner or later, and I think sooner is better. Allow yourself time to heal too. Opening yourself up to someone that much can hurt you a lot, and everything you had with that person will be completely lost in an instant. And you're gonna need to come to terms with that. Remember that what's meant to be , will be.

Love, is a complicated thing, and you're never quite sure how things could possibly turn out to be. You're just gonna go out on a limb each time hoping for the best and patiently waiting for your happily ever after with a special person.

  Dec 2017 Quinn

for a time
there were cuts
and blood on my wings
so i used my feet
for as long as i could run
till i made them bleed
then down on my knees
i crawled. what stayed okay
was locked inside
my heart and skull.
i knew if i kept moving
forward, healing would
come and release someone
who is me, but new.
i didn't know when, and
poetry helps me accept
the process, the bloodletting
and surgeries,  the ugly
airing and then the sense
of clean freedom. it really
is a wide, wonderful world
and a woolly, wild ride
if i have to fly,
run or crawl,
for in my ripple-inducing
actions it is all
part of the dream,
the short and bloody
existence of someone
who looks like me.

Quinn Dec 2017

Dear Hair,
I'm sorry for turning you grey and white with my stress.

Dear Brain,
I'm sorry for all the depressing thoughts and worries.

Dear Eyes,
I'm sorry for drowning you in the tears from my breakdowns.

Dear Mouth,
I'm sorry for all the kind lies and obscene truths I made you say.

Dear Neck,
I'm sorry for the red marks caused by the ropes I've tied around you.

Dear Shoulders,
I'm sorry for making you carry the weight of the world.

Dear Arms,
I'm sorry for the short, painful, cuts, causing the blood to pour out.

Dear Hands,
I'm sorry for making you drag razors, scissors, and blades across my body.

Dear Heart,
I'm sorry for breaking you up into microscopic shards.

Dear Stomach,
I'm sorry for all the butterflies from the thoughts of him.

Dear Feet,
I'm sorry for all the problems I made you run away from.

Dear Dreams,
I'm sorry I had to crush you for the sake of making others happy.

Dear Feelings,
I'm sorry for trying to erase you from my life.

Dear Friends,
I'm sorry that I've been doing such a bad job at keeping my mask on.

Dear Family,
I'm sorry for being a disappointment.

Dear World,
I'm sorry that I had to pain you with my existence.

And lastly,

Dear M,
I'm sorry that you have to go through so much without me by your side.

If M is reading this (They know who they are) I'm so sorry that I never tell you what's going on in my life, or that I push you to tell me what's wrong. I just want to help, but I can't help feeling like I'm making things worse. I love you to the moon and back, forever and always. Please, never forget that.
Quinn Dec 2017

There is hate in me,
behind my happy, innocent, calmness,
beneath the surface of my optimism
lies a demon of anger, depression, and fear.

But I can't let the hate go onto others,
they don't deserve to feel the pain of the cruel words I think,
the sadness that tides me make me cry oceans before I sleep,
So it gets released onto me.

Each scar on my wrist represents a fight,
a battle with this internal monster.
Each line means another win, for I have not given up,
not yet.

I will keep fighting.
Fighting so that my friends never need to feel this pain,
so that they never need to  worry,
so that I can keep smiling for them.

I will always fight,
and I won't lose to the hate in me.

I know this definitely isn't my best. It was more of a venting session than actual poetry. Sorry.
  Nov 2017 Quinn
Harsha ravi

Everyone fails, right? Wrong.
No one is allowed to fail, not in my house
Failure is a sin, not a stepping stone.
Failure is a curse, a profanity
Failure kills
and maybe that's why I want to fail so badly

Quinn Nov 2017

The last flight,
your last fight.
right before you jump
right before you leap,
off that cliff,
into the darkness and insanity.

The last battle,
your last attempt.
To fight the demons inside your mind.
to fight the terrible monsters that ravage your beautiful mind,

The demon is you.
You attack your skin with blades of steel,
You destroy your mind
with evil words that break you apart.

If only you could see the beauty,
in your wings, in your strength,
for fighting, for flying this long.
fight your last battle,
Soar above the darkness,
you are unstoppable.

Take your last flight beautiful demon.

do you ever just feel so sick of life that you just want to jump off a cliff, and you feel so capable of it, but then you just feel that sudden bit of fear and you stop yourself

This is a work in progress, I know it doesn't have rhythm or rhyme, please comment any suggestions!
  Nov 2017 Quinn

Why should you limit yourself to being just pretty?
Don't be just pretty.

Be a storm, beautiful, dark, intelligence flashing across your eyes like lightning and a voice as loud as thunder. Be a storm and never be silent.

Be a forest, rooted, wise, strong and unmovable in the force of opposition and yet a dancer in the wind. Be a forest, and loyal to your land.

Be the ocean, glittering, mysterious, captivating thousands of hearts and countless lives in your allure. Be the ocean, and be ruthless.

Be nature. I guarantee nothing will get you farther.

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