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Screaming-Tides Dec 2020
Distant memories I will never be able to go back to, I watch it all fly past through my very own screen in my mind
The moments turning so very fast like pages, yet so very slow
I remember back when everything was simple
When I could truly breathe without an anchor pulling me down, crushing and shattering me with every given second I try to breathe
When the world was blurry, but at the same time so very sharp and breathtakingly beautiful
A dream, a far away dream I will always feel deep down in that part of my soul
I can still feel the breeze
Feel my small and soft feet in the long, lively green grass
I can hear the laughter of my own as I run with the kite in my hand
A feeling of freedom
A feeling of innocence
The twinge of realization always hits
How I will never be able to go back to those days
Ever again
I have learned far too much of this world and how things have drastically changed
Always **** me more with every passing year
I clutch onto the feeling but my hands slowly slip, the pain and agony of longing to go back as I begin to let go
The screen in my mind disappears

I’m back to the present.
A much older poem.
Screaming-Tides Dec 2020
Shards of broken glass across the floor
Mirrors smoking up, my reflection paling as I try my hardest to hold onto my own frail skin
A nightmare I did not expect to greet, a fate that I cannot fleet from
Precious black petals from roses falling to the ground, the twisted thorns painfully surrounding my poor heart
Rain heavily pouring from the sky as the angels cry with anguish
Darling, I have lost you for now, but not forever..
At least that’s what I tell myself
Broken as I ever could feel, I slowly lower my shaking body to the ground
I feel so cold, so empty
Ravenously longing for your sweet, warming embrace
The long curtains swaying quickly as the wind blows violently
The sweet but haunting melodic church bells ringing again and again, reminding me this is all truly and painfully real
Tortured by this grief I shall be, forevermore
Until we meet again.
Was inspired by an Evanescence song and put this poem together.
In the greenest of our valleys
  By good angels tenanted,
Once a fair and stately palace—
  Radiant palace—reared its head.
In the monarch Thought’s dominion—
  It stood there!
Never seraph spread a pinion
  Over fabric half so fair!

Banners yellow, glorious, golden,
  On its roof did float and flow,
(This—all this—was in the olden
  Time long ago),
And every gentle air that dallied,
  In that sweet day,
Along the ramparts plumed and pallid,
  A winged odor went away.

Wanderers in that happy valley,
  Through two luminous windows, saw
Spirits moving musically,
  To a lute’s well-tuned law,
Bound about a throne where, sitting
  (Porphyrogene!)
In state his glory well befitting,
  The ruler of the realm was seen.

And all with pearl and ruby glowing
  Was the fair palace door,
Through which came flowing, flowing, flowing,
  And sparkling evermore,
A troop of Echoes, whose sweet duty
  Was but to sing,
In voices of surpassing beauty,
  The wit and wisdom of their king.

But evil things, in robes of sorrow,
  Assailed the monarch’s high estate.
(Ah, let us mourn!—for never morrow
  Shall dawn upon him desolate !)
And round about his home the glory
  That blushed and bloomed,
Is but a dim-remembered story
  Of the old time entombed.

And travellers, now, within that valley,
  Through the red-litten windows see
Vast forms, that move fantastically
  To a discordant melody,
  While, like a ghastly rapid river,
  Through the pale door
A hideous throng rush out forever
  And laugh—but smile no more.
  May 2019 Screaming-Tides
julianna
I can’t stop asking.
How could I not ask questions?
I don’t have answers.
  Mar 2019 Screaming-Tides
julianna
Sometimes they crash down and the waves take me with them.
Like a tsunami, it’s unexpected.
You usually know the signs, but once it starts, there’s no changing it.
There’s no going back, it’s not a choice.
It’s just a deadly fight against nature and water and time...
I always come up for air before it’s too late, but with my eyes closed, I don’t know up from down.
Am I plunging into the depths or rising towards the horizon?
I don’t know...
I’m just swimming.
  Mar 2019 Screaming-Tides
julianna
What’s my worth?
Am I as bad as I think?
Am I as good as they say?
  Mar 2019 Screaming-Tides
julianna
too many words. too fast. hard to explain. hard to understand. I have so much art and so little time. so much pain and not enough rhyme. i’m running from reason and dwelling on regret.
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