We could’ve lived happily
but the after never followed
I thought we’d have eternity
but with it came the hollow

Your soft touch and warm hands
Sheltered me from the cold hold of my soul
But my darkness crept in
and swallowed us both whole

I wish I had more time
to savor the moments
of when you and I loved one another
and that had no consequences

But hope is cruel as it shattered me to pieces
my death was your bliss that left me defenseless
Decaying feelings being left to waste
There was nothing to salvage, not even your embrace

As nostalgia takes me
I go back to old memories
Of broken dreams and shattered realities
My future seems incredibly bleak.

It’s been months since we’ve parted
and to your farewell I couldn’t attend
I just couldn’t stomach the thought
of you being erased from existence.

But now i’ve dealt with things,
I want to say thank you..
For everything you’ve done for me but here's
A belated Goodbye, A forgotten I love you

I cannot write
nor can I speak
My thoughts are empty
My feelings are weak

I’m but a void
that **** everything but time
Time still moves too fast
Too quick to fall in line

I’d want forever
but age won’t permit
So I’ll settle for eve
on nights that I submit

I long for the scythe
to take what was never mine
under the dark hood I loom
begging for it take the borrowed time

The fear of loneliness
weighs heavily on my very existence.
The fear of being alone with my thoughts
Sends chills to my muscles and bones.
I don't want to be alone with them,
because I don't know where they'll take me.
They'll take me far away.
Far enough to get lost and never come back

I lay awake at night, staring into the dark
I rest my eyes yet still cannot rest my heart
The thumping reaches my ears and my anxiety reigns
I check the watch and see I’ve stayed up again

If I sleep I dream of dread
But what I feel is all in my head
I sweat from the rush adrenaline
My veins littered with epinephrine

I pray to the heavenly bodies, the gods above
To end the nightmares I’ve been dreaming of
Not all dreams were meant to be chased
Some meant to be buried, burned and never faced.

I run to worlds and planets to seek asylum
Going insane from the pain until i finally turn numb
In Mars I felt the greatest joy
In Jupiter I fell and I, myself almost destroyed

The rings of Saturn turned out to be my solace
I skip Uranus to swim in the oceans of Neptune
And in all the planets I’ve been to
When I close my eyes, i dream of nightmares, i dream of you.

A shot here
and another there.
I let it all control me
the warmth spreading well.

Then everything turned blurry,
my head spinning with emotion.
Your figure embedded in my mind,
I guess I found my devotion.

Your sweet succulent lips
silently pulling me in.
Numerous onlookers,
Your lips are my sin.

You're the drug
and I'm your victim.
Pull me closer
I'm helplessly addicted.

Flowers bloom, trees grow
No one controls the fate of the universe
So why seek control?
seeking it like a thirsty child, desperate for water
Or an Ill begotten son desperate for a father.

When things spiral out of reach
You slowly descend with it,
The weight placed upon yourself tugging you down
Sinking you deeper
  Little you drowning in the ocean, Little you already forgotten.

Entwined in Nature
Soulmates to the touch
But hearts shatter
Drunk in love from the lust

Empty within
With nothing to offer
My body is yours
A shell solely for cover

Tethered till the end
Happiness a facade
All we do is bide the time
waiting for the end of the race

I have standards you can't meet and
you have standards that I can't either
so let's stop fooling ourselves
and end this together

Tell me how to feel or tell me how to lie
Instruct me and I'll follow the fear you live by
Cut me up and leave me open
Kiss my lips until they're swollen

Cement this hollow chest, harden my emotions
Punish the child within me, you've become my religion
Unwanted thoughts parallel to yours
We're meant to combust, let nature take its course

The toxic taste of your mouth has left me senseless
Bare and vulnerable you've left me defenseless
Fighting off my demons and yours
Your darkness sinking me, rotting my core

The reminiscent mind that can't let go of the past,
still hangs and lingers to the memories of
half smiles and melancholic laughter.

A knife embedded to the back
red liquid seeping through
the pristine white shirt
Now stained with betrayal

Words hanging in the air
awkward stares
A relationship that can't be repaired

Insecurities bottled up and buried within
Rises like bile on a sick Saturday evening.
Realization creeps  fast and thoughts
embeds itself into your brain.
A helpless cry for help

Untitled is what you are
No name, no face just a feeling
Just a dot in my head
Yet you get bigger and darker by the day
getting bigger until I'm untitled as well.

Take me under the waters and deep into the mountains
Leave me to wander this life I could’ve never imagined
The night sky glittering with stars and campfires lit so bright
Fresh cold air mixed with relief like the 4th of July.

Unshackled souls let free into the night
Walking farther away, the moon our only source of light.
With tingling lips and shaking hands that explore
the warmth of that you desperately adore

Safe and guarded in your arms I lay
But the sinister smile is something i could not face
As I lay in the pool of my own omission
realization dawn. My own poor decisions

Never to trust and never to follow
I lay in white walls and beds so shallow
I am but an epiphany of your dreams
Someone unspoken someone unseen

Lay me down, without the tears
and I’ll tell you all about the sweet vinyls
the playing music coursing through the air
The warmth of your embrace enveloping well

Like Peter, to never age
Like Wendy, to never change
I’ll lay my soul, as restless it may be
in this very cabin, where you loved me.

Reminiscing my youth has garnered regrets
And you were the light that took me from my deathbed.
You breathed me life and just like that I smiled
And then you left and I felt like an abandoned child.

I pushed until you fell of the edge
Until I couldn’t reach your hand
Until I was left alone and scared
Fear into anger and anger into bitterness.

I wish you had visiting hours
,a phone to call
Or even an address to write
So this time, I won't forget to say I love you
I'll say it twice.