I wanted to be mad
But I can't
It's not madness that I  get
It's all pain

Right now, this is all I can do
Missing all the things with you
Letting the time pass by
Like a bubble disappeared in the blue sky

A sip on my coffee
Make my mind free
Sitting alone on the corner
Hearing the sound of a thunder
Seeing the sky cry
Behind all of this is a lie

In this time of crisis
Everyone made it all a business
The free help from the community
Politicians also made an entry

Blaming and bashing everywhere
Treating everyone is not totally fair
Its not the covid that scary right now
It's the people advantaging the situation
Like it's some kind of business to negotiate

If everything will come to an end
My past self will come back
I dont want it to happen
But its happening
I dont want to be colder
I dont want to be a numb
Please help me. Save me
Make me stay

Here I am again
Thinking of you
Don't understand what I'm feeling
Just end up being hurt

It's not easy to forget
Cause you've been always my special guest
There's no more memories for us
Our story just ended up

A moment of silence
For the soul
That keep on fighting
In an upside down feeling

A moment of silence
For the truth
That has been told
From your lips
That shed me with tears

I want to trust you
But my mind says no
I love you
But my heart tells don't

As I got to touched you once again
Along with my tears that burst like rain
As I kiss those lips of yours
I know this for sure
That you are not mine anymore

Still thankful of your presence
Even if its just a quick moment
Those hugs of yours that I miss
Together with a goodbye kiss
All about us is game over

Remembering the touch of your skin
That sent shivers to my spine
The waves of memories
That still lingers in my mind

The feeling of betrayal
That gave me thought of becoming suicidal
Our laughter and tears
That keeps on hunting me all through the years

The voices that keeps on chanting
The thought of you leaving
Makes my thoughts chaos
And I don't know
If I can survive this life
Knowing without you by my side

What comes after a rain?
It's a beautiful rainbow, right?
But what comes after all this pain?
Happines or just sadness that serves me right

I don't know where to start again
This feelings inside me are making me insane
Should I go through all this pain?
While still waiting you in the vain?

Am I really the one you love?
Am I the only one you have?
I feel I'm not really enough
Cause Im not  that tough

Why can't I fully feel your love?
Is it because you still love her that much?
I feel betrayed by your love
I thought I would be the one,
It turns out Im just the one you loved

White that turns to black
A smiley face to a sad one
Positivity to negativity
Yeah I've change

There's no exits
I can't escape
Will you help me?
To bring back the old me?

Tonight I have decided
To take this off out my head
I can't take this anymore
Pretending like someone you adore

Oh hi, hi there
Showing my smile everywhere
But nobody cares
Somewhat scared to dare

Fly like a butterfly
You are free tonight
Take off the mask
And enjoy the rest of your life

Fligh high,My dear self

Im nothing compare to her
She was your first love
While I am just your rebound
She's too perfect compare to me
I am just nothing!

Being paranoid
Is what you see
I can't avoid it
It's all in my head

This is my escape
Write down all my feelings
And let the time heal it
Just please let me be