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Angel Turner Jan 13
COLLAB. WITH AUSTIN DRAPER

It’s little more than a quiet thought.
The impending feeling that the loneliness
was a creation of my own imploding self-conscious.
I wouldn’t have hurt you voluntarily,
so what outside force could know my mind so well?

It’s little more than a spoken word.
The rumble of the oncoming storm could be felt
from as close as 1.6 miles away,
where the darkness of your room invaded the
not-so secret spots of your heart.

I’m prone, to the truth in your words.
I’m not used to the idea of confronting my thoughts
And sorting them out to you.
Is it that I spoke wrong words? Or I stopped before they meant anything?
You mean so much, and now you are out of my reach.
I did the first two stanzas and Austin did the third. I really like it, it's the first poetry collaboration I've done.
***
every foreign word means love
if you don't know the language
you stand and nod and try to hold on
but you're swept up in love

how easily we speak this mystic language?
and how illiterate we are in our own interactions-
affectionate half-romantic advances turning into mundane
check ins and not even real conversations,
after which both of us return to dwelling in made up homes,
alternate americas and fantastic fables where we can be anything
even in love?
Angel Turner Sep 2018
Every first time is first done slowly
and then like it's your last.
And when the words tumble out of my mouth
like a whispered avalanche,
It's all I can do to pray
you'll say it back.

But first you stare.

My mind goes a thousand different places,
revolving around the axis of rejection
strung by your silence.

It must be only seconds but it's stretched into
a quiet forever inside my mind.

And when you kiss me instead,
it doesn't calm my fast-paced heart.
That is, until you pull away with the words
close on your lips.

I love you.
Those three words have never made as much sense as this moment.
I rarely write love poems, but what else can a poet do when their heart is this close to exploding?

***
Angel Turner Aug 2018
When the lights begin to look a bit like roses, you know you're in for a trip.

The challenging nature of my bones begins to melt away, leaving only the part of me that wants to paint pictures and tame hearts.

My mind is only occupied by the thought of your hand in mine and my only wish is this moment for the rest of my life.

Maybe it's unusual for me.

But I begin to feel that you're my manifest destiny.

And the soft wind and cool-aid sky only add to the idea that my heart is one moment from exploding.
I swear I wasn't on drugs.
Though the soft summer light is a bit of a drug to me.
***
Angel Turner Jul 2018
I'm afraid you're my
skeleton in the closet
because you pulled my hair
and broke my bones
but if only they new
I enjoyed it
Odd thoughts from today.
***
If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.
The state of Florida is now home to the two most deadly mass shootings in American history. Pulse Nightclub was attacked in my city, I have friends who attend Marjory Stoneman Douglas in Parkland. My little sister often fears going to school. I'm afraid to graduate and leave her. I want to be able to protect her if something happens. I hate that we have a reason to be afraid... That it's reasonable to have these fears. I hate it so f*cking much.
Angel Turner Jun 2018
Your smile is unfairly noticeable.
Your voice is disrespectfully low.
Your eyes are rudely easy to get lost in.
And yet, I don't.

Do I?
A different boy this time.
He's been a friend for years,
I can't help but ask myself this.
***
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