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Jul 20 · 39
Crown and Glory
I want to be your crown 👑
I want to shine upon your head
Bring glory to your body
And favor to your life
A crown
With pure diamonds
That have
evolved over time  
under extreme pressure
And survived
I shall not sit
Upon another man’s head
For I was custom made
To be worn by you
My King
We are a perfect fit
My jewels sparkle
In the gaze of your eyes
And I am proud to be called yours
So wear me confidently
Glow under the weight of my glory
Wear me and know
that no matter who wants
Me in their display case
I belong to you
Tailored to be worn
By you and only you
And nothing
And no one
Can have me
Your crown and glory
Yet another love letter to my Kingdom Spouse
Jun 28 · 164
My Most Favorite
of all the boys that
I've ever loved you by far
are my most favorite
Haiku 5-7-5
Jun 23 · 51
Love letter #1,276
To the LOML
With or without you
I know who I am
My life is wonderful already
But it will be better
When you are in it
I can feel you near. Send a sign. Spark a flare. Light up the night… hmm I’ll stop here. I am waiting. Usually patiently but tonight, not so much. To be honest, it is exciting this game that we are playing. Just don’t let it get played out. See you soon.
Jun 23 · 38
Not today
Everything you can do
I probably invented it
I’m not finna give up my single card
To go through your *******

You explore your options
Imma explore mine
If I’m available
when you’re ready
I might give you my time

I told you I’m not playing games
With my own heart that is
I want a man
I can trust with my soul
he can trust me with his

If that’s not you
Well, that’s okay
I can love you and still walk away
But Me down on my knees
begging you to love me
Oh hell naw
Not today
Sometimes the only thing I can do to feel better is to write. I love thinking up a scenario and writing about it.

Looking forward to being with the one who loves my soul.
Jun 19 · 173
No matter how much
I love you
I don’t mind walking away
I won’t look back
I won’t bat an eye
Whenever you look my way
Unfortunately I know this concept too well.
Jun 18 · 278
Sell out for loneliness
I learned today
That it is my job
To make sure that everyone is okay
At the expense of myself
That is
If I don’t want to be alone
Jun 18 · 47
I missed you today
I missed you today
You weren’t here to feel the warmth
Of the sun on my face
With your lips
Or hold my hand
As we walked through an orchard
Trees fill with green leaves
Dancing as the wind blew through
Playing its favorite tune
I sat and witnessed it’s splendor
In an old rocking chair
It was one of two
Under a crabapple tree
I wished you were here with me
I whispered
But no one heard me but the wind
I hope she Carried
my prayers to you
And that you know
You are desired
and loved
And missed
Ahh just another note to my Kingdom Spouse.
Jun 9 · 43
A note to you
today would have been better
if you were here
I am starting to feel crazy
believing that you are coming
but I still can't see you
when I look to the horizon
Please come
before all of my youth is spent
and I have nothing to offer
but stories
gray hair
and wrinkled hands
I want to hold you
while my hands are young
and my arms are strong
words are bullets and
i have been shot by you too
many times to count
murdered so effortlessly
the bullets slip from your tongue
A tanka poem. syllable pattern 5-7-5-7-7 though challenging to write at times. Today, I am up for it.
Jun 1 · 59
before the sun
I think I love you
Honestly, I know I do
but I'm scared to take a chance
on you loving me too

Because no one ever stays
to help pick up the pieces
they just break my heart and run
they come right at midnight
and leave before the sun
Jun 1 · 250
The Real Thing
In a room full of men
with their flashy clothes
and exotic cars
I only see you
Your soul shines brighter than the bling
your laughter penetrates me
it makes me feel free
in a room full of counterfeits
you are the real thing
Jun 1 · 129
Adventure Together
The best moments in life
are the moments spent
next to someone you love
not necessarily talking
not necessarily doing anything
but sharing the same air
in my mind you are there
sitting next to me
inhaling the soft aromas
that nature provides
we, together being kissed by the sun
melting together two people in one
because you are that someone I love
the one that I long to be beside

will you come with me?
can we adventure together?
Jun 1 · 56
If I had to do it all over again
and it was guaranteed that I would get you
I'd do it
How many drafts do you have? Today am studying and clearing out my drafts. Yet another letter to a lover.
Jun 1 · 62
Your wedding day
If in the end
you reach your hands up
to move the vail
from your lovers face
and the eyes you look into
are not mine

I hoped I loved you
in such a way
that you are free
to love her beautifully

I want to kiss your wounds
I want to set you free
with my love

I want you to look back
and remember us
knowing in your heart
that you were truly loved
It's been 3 weeks since I heard your voice
our love lost in a sea of unfinished txt conversations
21 days since I heard your face
and I am questioning everything
because how can someone who wants so much
go so long without seeing me
or hearing me
and still be okay
I am not okay
May 23 · 62
Love me still (Haiku)
I want the one whose
gonna love me still after
the storm is over
who doesn't want to be loved
May 17 · 42
Your touch
sent a calm hope through me
but I fell in love with your voice
and now in your silence
I grieve
the loss of the only one
whose voice made my heart
you have hidden your heart
under an impenetrable suit of armor
you are not afraid to cut down anything
that comes against it

I learned to speak my truth by loving you
I laid it at your feet
more open than I have ever been with anyone
more lovingly than I would normally allow myself to be

you draw out your sward
and without hesitation
you cut me down

you watch as I bleed
my truth drips from your weapon
and flows from my body
I piece of me dies

bury my crimson stained truth with me
my sweet wounded knight
perhaps your world will be better
if I'm out of your sight
Feeling Kind if Blah this morning. I love poetry because it doesn't have to be happy. It doesn't punish me for being vulnerable and raw. Poetry loves me despite my flaws. It will never turn me away or lie. Poetry revives me over and over again.

S/N: To my Kingdom Spouse. Where are you? I could really use a hug. '💛
May 16 · 50
He loved me like a 9-5
Monday through Friday
forty hours a week
with an occasional weekend day
but I needed
a forever kind of love
begrudgingly I had to let him go
no lay offs
no hopes for the future
because I deserve forever
More from the archives. I do not care how much I love you. I will not accept less than I deserve. Especially because I don't ask for much. I will walk away. I have already experienced the worse hurt. I can get through anything. *I must have been in my feelings when I wrote this.
May 16 · 76
I can only throw
so many hints
before I take one
and walk away
From the Archives. When the person you want just can't catch the hint. It doesn't make sense. Listen fella, you're gonna lose me.
May 12 · 246
You give life to me
Your love causes me to grow
my roots deepen
and I become secure
To My Kingdom Spouse:

I want your love
healthy and black
I promise to reflect it

give me your heart
and I'll keep it safe
I promise never to neglect it

I want to love you
in a way that makes doubting God

you can come to me
I promise to be responsible

with your secrets
I'm not playing games
baby, I am for real

I am yours today and forever more
with an oath to God
I'll seal the deal

under one condition
that you'll be only mine
and I'll be only yours

well stand under an open heaven
open windows
and open doors

For generations
our children will recall
the love we shared

they will know the truth
that the same type of love
can also be theirs

To my Kingdom Spouse. Here is a letter. I hope you love it. Lets build a love that last throughout generations. You and Me. Imperfect yet choosing to love one another over and over again.
1) I may not mention that I need to be held
I mean, it has been so long and I don't want to come off as needy.
2) I may not mention that I have forgotten what it's like waking up next to someone. I honestly can't remember.  
3) I do not want any more ***** calls but it's better than the risk of getting attached to a temporary person so, I'll do what I have to do.
4) I need help but I will not ask. I don't want to give anyone the opportunity to throw what they did for my back in my face.
5) I may not act like I like you. I do and I don't want you to leave.
6) I may actually push you away. I don't mean to but I have forgotten how to depend on someone else. Be patient with me.
7) I may not let you sit close to me. I crave the intimacy but I am afraid to get used to you being here.
8) I may act like I have it all together all the time. Sometimes I am silently falling apart. Even with a smile on my face.
9) "I love you's" are hard to say in the beginning. Somehow saying those words out loud makes the feelings deeper than I am ready for them to be.
10) I love tacos. Please don't ask me what I want to eat. Just buy me tacos.
11) If you hold me too long, I may cry. Let it happen, I must feel safe with you.
12) I don't want to be super woman anymore. It is exhausting.
13) I need to be loved. I need the freedom to be myself. I need a safe place and permission to be soft.
Ms. Independent sometimes gets a bad rap. She doesn't want to always have to be the one to make all of the decision. The pressure on her shoulders is tremendous. Sometimes she needs a moment to take her cape off and be vulnerable but every time she has tried, she regretted it. If Ms. Independent tries to be vulnerable with you, she sees something worth trusting again. Respect that. Respect her. Love her. hold her and let her cry in your shoulders.
To My Kingdom Spouse
I want to know you in a way that no one else has
Perhaps that means that I have to be the kind of woman
That can gracefully accept you in all of your forms
I can be that for you
And only you
I've never heard the phrase Kingdom Spouse until recently . It sounds poetic to me. I love to write love letters to my Husband. I can't wait to be his wife. Hopefully he doesn't think that I am corny. Expect more words for "Kingdome Spouse" in the future.
May 6 · 155
I am
I am both
An honor
and a privilege
May 6 · 600
Love Poem
I love you
that's all
those are the words
this is the poem

I love you
I can no longer play it safe
here today and everyday
I love you
Things that I have only said internally. They have to come out somewhere. Why not write. Besides, rainy days are so romantic. They make me think about being wrapped up in loves arms. Being gently caressed. A warm breeze flowing through the room.
Apr 20 · 54
Don’t love me out of convenience
Don’t call me and tell me that you wish you would have told me you loved me

when I was wrapped up in your arms but you were afraid
Did you think I would hear those words and let you back in?

No because we both agreed that love was not what we were seeking
I know you miss the way I made you feel

I know you miss my energy
But I had to call it back to me
I had to clean my palate of you
Because you are not the one who loves my soul

No matter how you think you feel
You are not the one who loves my soul

If you were
You would Have known
Before now
Apr 16 · 52
Come love me dammit
To my boo
who ain’t my boo
But should be my boo
Why ain’t you in love with me yet?
I really wanna know
Come love me
I said what I said.
Apr 16 · 54
Cover me
I heard a man say
That a man’s love
Is a covering for a woman
His love protects her
His love doesn’t leave her exposed
To the dangers of the world
It made me think
Whose going to cover me?
I’m not so independent
That being exposed
Doesn’t bother me
I am cautious
Like a doe
looking over her shoulder
Hyper-aware of the dangers
that lurk
In the shade
Of the trees
Who is going to cover me
Sometimes something someone says gets stuck in my head. You be my protector and I’ll be your peace.
Mar 24 · 70
Overthinking: The Web
One little thing
One tiny thought
Got Stuck inside my mind
An instant replay
a merry-go-round
Of a small moment in time

It goes round and round
Spinning a web
Both Intricate and profound
Becoming so much larger
Than it was before
the weight it brings me down

One lie from the beginning
Makes me doubt
everything that you say
I locked myself behind
Unbreakable glass
to keep from feeling this way

It didn’t work
I let you in
you slowly won my trust
Then you withdrew
And I got scared
So I ran away from us

I locked you out
of my small glass room
And watched you from afar
I watched you try
to get me back
my pain became a scar

soon, you left
it hurt me bad
to watch you walk away
if I had
to do it again
I'd ask for you to stay
Overthinking can ruin a good thing but so can being naïve. Balance is necessary if you want the best out of life.
Mar 20 · 351
Dear Soulmate
I’m tired
of not having
you here beside me.
I think I met my soulmate. How do you know? What if you’re wrong?
Mar 20 · 699
Too little too late
Too little too late
There was a time
that I wanted to open up to you
But you weren’t sure
If you wanted
what you said you wanted

You came for me
With all of your ideas
And plans to love me

knowing that you weren’t it for me
Why not give it a try
And Agreed
to get to know you
And follow your lead

You dropped me
But I can’t blame you
Because I knew better
So now when you call
“Just To say I love you”
I don’t answer
And when you txt
How “you miss me,
And still love me”
I say thank you

Because your love
Taught me
to always be true to me
So I don’t end up landing
*** first
Onto the cold hard concrete
Bruised ego
From not landing on my feet

Thank you
For teaching me
How important it is
for me to love me
Enough to say “no”
You’re not the one for me
But he is coming
And I love myself enough
To wait
This weekend was full of “circle back” txts. Reminders and professions of love. I haven’t forgotten how you made me feel. I haven’t forgotten how it felt to peel myself off the ground. This is the last poem that I will write to you, men from the past. I am all out of words for you. May God bless your future endeavors. *peace. Goodbye and goodbye.
Mar 16 · 92
What If?
What if
I wasted my opportunity to love
and be loved on insecurity
and self hate
what if
my time has come
and gone
while I was unaware
of all that I am
and all that I
have to give
what if
what if
what if

man, I hope not
Mar 16 · 356
Black Love Haiku
Love black as the night
I get lost every time I
Witness your splendor
5-7-5 is so challenging but I love to try.
Mar 16 · 57
The Flower
There is something beautiful to be said
about a flower that grows
from the rough,
and sharp
surface of a Rock.
It has faced impossible adversities.
It sprouted through all of the pain.
It became beautiful even though everything around it
was designed to **** it.
Yet Somehow,
some way
the beautiful flower lives
to share its glory
with the rest of the world.

dear friend
be beautiful
be fierce
be ready
the world
one day
will see your glory
Your current circumstances
are incapable
of keeping you from flourishing.
Don’t you dare give up!
Mar 15 · 259
Creative Energy
A man who walks confidently
in his creative energy
can love me
No one taught me what to look for in a man. Through trial and error I learned that I want A man who is creative in his approach with me. It's not only about music and poetry. He finds different ways to love me. He makes sure that I know where his heart is at.
Love in 17 Syllables

Stained glass

I think about love
And words pour out from my mind
Vibrant like stained glass
From my notes
Mar 15 · 241
Come dance
You weren’t created
to dwell In the shadows.
You were created
to dance in the sunlight
Come dance with me.
From my notes
Mar 15 · 47
Somebody Hold Me
Sometimes I just need to be held
To be transparent
To cry
To not always have to be happy
To not feel the need to explain why
To not have to be strong
To put my crown away
To be just a woman
To be Feminine
To be safe
I just need to be held
And let go of the weight
Of doing it all on my own
And feeling
Completely alone
Notes from my journal.
I'm not ashamed to
admit that I've been sick since
the day you left me

You thought you had Me
Broken, discouraged and sad
jokes on you I’m not.

Yes you hurt me bad
But I overcame the pain
I am better now

However you still
Are truly a worthless *******
Karma is a *****
I started this in 2020. I’m so glad that I’m over it now. Ghosting is the worst thing that you can do to someone. It broke my heart and changed me, ultimately for the better; though I am a little less trusting now.
Mar 14 · 184
Spring Break

This week  

I will read

I will write

I will clean my house

I will rest

I will cook everyday

I will dance

I will sing

And finally fold that basket of clothes

I will daydream

And fall in love

Next week

I will study
So this is love? I’ve asked myself so many times over the course of my life. I really didn’t have any examples of what love should look like or feel like. How do you know when it’s real. How do you keep fear from creeping in and spoiling things before you get a chance to understand the feeling. So this is love.

I’ve never been in love but I imagine it’s something beautiful like yellow tulips still closed up so that only I can witness them blooming. Could this be love? I really don’t know because I’ve never had a love like this before.

Maybe love is ink spilled onto cards, poems to paper, words buried deep inside the heart or whispered so low that only God can hear it, “please god don’t let me mess this up. Teach me to be the woman you want me to be for this man but I don’t wanna get my hopes up too high.” Could this be love.

Learning to be patient because you just can’t rush forever. Abstaining in secret because attention from anyone else just won’t do.

Some how I get the feeling that love comes to teach and uplift. Perhaps she brings healing to whomever she touches, Calms all fears and  isn’t quick to run away but she is surprisingly quick to forgive.

Love will no longer hide from me. She surrounds me in her warmth and the fear that lies deep in my heart melts away. I will dance freely in her touch and the one who sees my heart will meet me there.

His smile will grab my attention and I will be truly enamored by the sound of his voice and his powerful yet tender demeanor. So this is love, I will say to myself as I am drawn deeper into his embrace, afraid but there is no turning back.

So this is love.        
So this is love
So… this… is…

Thinking about some things. Perhaps a hint of romance that has come into my life. Something is opening in me. I don’t want to be closed off anymore. Freedom to love is my portion.
Feb 10 · 1.7k
I’ll probably wear yellow at our wedding
Because as Anita sang so sweetly
When I lose my way
your love Comes
Lighting up the path
to brighter days
I’ll decorate my ebony brown skin
In yellow for you
Because I believe
that joy will be our portion
Even when things become dreary
We will always see the sun
Emerging from the clouds
It’s brilliant yellow rays
Clearing the skies
And warming our skin
You. Bring. Me. Joy
And like a mirror
I will reflect
Right back to you
I will hold your hand
And warm you with my smile
And rainy days
will always be worth while
When I’m by your side
I’ll probably wear yellow at our wedding
A queen cloaked in joy
Adorned in love
Only For you
A king
My king
Sometimes I just want to be in love. In my mind it is beautiful. I hope to fall in love with the right man one day. I hope he loves me back and I’ll find myself with him face to face, in front of our families expressing our love to each other. I’ll be the one in yellow. 🌻♥️
Jan 6 · 569
Hey Black Man
he said
I don’t care who’s with me
and who ain’t
I don’t have to Persuade
Anyone to see my worth
Because with or without them
I’m already great
He possesses a confidence
That has my attention
Held captive
It reminds me of a time
When my momma yelled out to my father
Hey black man
As if the phrase it’s self
Was a crown
Her voice
Boasting in power
And Dripping with respect

Perhaps tomorrow I’ll try
to call you by your name
I’ll walk up to you
Fill my voice with sunshine
And say
Hey black man
I see your Greatness
And I honor you for it
I’ll crown you with my words
And adorn you with
A cloak of honor
And you will smile
Because you know who you are
I see you king
This is the start of something
Kind of beautiful
Because I love you, Black Man.
Jan 5 · 365
I get goosebumps
When I think of you

Your smile
Sends chills down my spine

Like a well written song
It reaches Deep
In my spirit

The place
Where all of the things that I love
Are on display
Jan 1 · 219
Sweet intentions
He kissed me like he meant it
His tongue tasted like
the sweetest of cruel intentions
I was hooked
Notes from my journal
Jan 1 · 559
The thing is
You called it

I called it

... Perspective.
Dec 2021 · 59
Ja-Lynn Nicole Dec 2021
I love you
from a different place
With my entire being
I can’t just give you part of me
I can’t just love you partially

It’s impossible
Because I love you
With every part of me

Even the pieces that remain hidden
Somehow you have made your way
To the depths of my heart
And I am not afraid

The thought of loving you
Eliminates all fear
And gives me the courage
To finally breathe
Sometimes I find letters and poetry that I have written. I find them in books and folders; coat pockets, journals or the “notes” app on my cell phone. .
Dec 2021 · 152
Ja-Lynn Nicole Dec 2021

It’s good
It’s bad
It’s dark
I’m sad
I’m happy
And in love
Heavy raindrops
From above

I feel like
I can’t stop

I can’t stop laughing
Ignited fire
Sinful desire
A sinner
A saint
One winner
One ain’t

A crazy story
That I must paint
My Good image
I choose to taint
In hopes that you’ll see
The genuine me
So I can be free From the shackles
of who you think I should be.
A page from my journal. living in Disguise had me feeling trapped. I had to choose freedom over the fear of transparency.

Freedom feels so good!
Dec 2021 · 1.5k
Love is
Ja-Lynn Nicole Dec 2021
Love is ebony Brown skin
a big white grin
and Soft kisses at night
I found this in my notes. Figured I’d share.
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