I need to be somewhere with someone somehow, otherwise I might be no one

I'm going to be honest.....























I love you

There's a jukebox,
in my mind or yours,
and it plays my song --
or, maybe, it's for you.
And it says what I
never could say, which is
that I am very sorry.

I thought of how I was --
or how we were --
which was not as good
as we had hoped for.
You protected yourself
from remorse and I was
fearfully unapologetic.

You were, and, probably,
still are a cold *****, and I've
been a ******* for years.
Your nose was so crooked,
it could run for office, and
my head was -- and still is --
really big, which is fitting,
considering my ego, and
ironic, since I'm borderline
mentally-*******-*******.

There's an eroding jukebox
and its so confrontational,
due to feeling inferior,
unrecognized, and without
a responsible purpose.

The music from the machine
flows like rushing thoughts,
and the thoughts say:

I sit and write,
I don't mind you
when I don't know you.

Some people are roots,
meant to help with stability,
but you are a branch,
meant to offer a new view,
but also meant to fall off,
maybe, killing whomever
catches you next.

I get lost in your kiss
                   Yet feel at home on your **lips

Above all that is radiant and bright,
she floats above the New York night.
Neon signs and grey faces
look up, pointing, exclaming,
'Look how amazing
the human race is'.

Phantom girl floating, sifting
past and through all that's drifting:
empty eyes and the cracks on
every sunken, cigarette *******
ivory American cheek-bone,
belonging to a person, who
feels like any person: here
but sweetly alone.

All that is radiant,
all that is bright,
think what is beautiful
is flying past and
out of sight.

let me guess we weren't the first
to sneak out here on our own
to "break the ice"
by raising skin to skin
and bone to bone

to tell all your good friends to leave us alone
when you know i'll tell you to leave me alone

god i always liked the flow that went
getting another life to swallow
without needing to pay rent

just another person to know we were just
other people to know

before figuring whether you were
the person to tell me when to come
or the one to tell me when to go

how do we know we know?
when i only try by saying
i'll try to know

but we look towards each other and
invite the other
to come and be the latest reach
for me to refer in relativity
all true all emotion
leech

and if we could just choose the things that run forever
then let it be the golden feeling i found
in the absence of sound

in the absence of speech

if skin was touch and touch was reach
and reach was sin and sin was breach

and if we pretend preach
could and would make it all better

then were you back here
when you finally got it together
put it all together

and when she tried to ask you to come back
why did you go ahead and get her

Pain is a cloud of fog that's constantly following me, shadowing over my existence and the rain is steady pouring faster with each strike to my heart and every rumble in my soul.

Love is the shelter protecting me from the storm of heartaches that keep building and raging through the nights and with his arms around me, I'm in the safest place I know.

Tie your powder blue checkered sheets,
and dangle them out of your
splintered window frame.

Wire bodies scrambling down,
you and your sister, tan and loud,
bringing ultra-light cigs and
burner flip-phones,
promising *** without
the feeling of being alone.

This is for the chips on your polish,
much like you: red and drawn
by a shaky Saturday night,
where I'm your friend,
unsure and twenty-two,
driving through muddy water
like a submarine submerged in time.

The stereo shouts out Minor Threat,
neon and done, are we, the naked,
parked outside the park
where you wrecked your bike,
we threw mixtapes off the bridge,
where we had fun.

I can still hear our theme song
beyond the headlights
beyond the moans.