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1.1k · Jan 2018
Starting a new day
Ella Jan 2018
You know that feeling when you can smile again and mean it?
It takes you over like a wave in motion
You get this feeling that everything is going to be alright

You feel that you can do anything now and that you're not limited by anyone

It's the best feeling of all, to finally feel a new
Like nothing has ever happened
And you're just about to start everything
You have complete control and nothing will stop you from completely starting a-new
691 · Nov 2017
Crushed Dreams
Ella Nov 2017
Why do I seem invisible to some people?
I'm right next to you so why am I not even minded?
I used to get stared at horribly but now I'm not even seen

I got these people that have known me for years behind me
What a relief? I wish.

They pretend they don't know me
I guess they feel I'm not needed
Which isn't really far from the truth

I'm useless
I'm hopeless
All my dreams have expired
All I have is a blank future to go towards
A dark blank future which will sooner or later be all filled with sadness to run into

These new "friends" that I have are not really "friends" are they? They all have their own plans, their friends that they have grown with

I'm just a stanger that gets told "hi" like once a day
Why ever would I mean anything to those people?

Im just here wasting some space that could be used another person that could be born and respected unlike me

If I have no values, no friends, and no people to go to then why don't I just leave?
I don't have anything to live for then I might as well give up

I gave up on my dreams along time ago, the sky will now forever be dark
I won't have anything to look forward to and forever my dream at finding someone that could be by my side will forever be buried and left from my mind
Can I die yet?!! -*
600 · Mar 2018
Resolved
Ella Mar 2018
Can I agree with you again?
Can I trust you, in letting you in again?

This should be all solved, right?
I just want to have a normal and happy life again

I want to wake up in the morning and not think about what happened last week
I want to have my motivation back
I want to be able to look you in the eyes and not doubt you again

Will everything go back?
Will this really work out?

Should I have just moved on?
Should I have just blocked you out of my life entirely?

I decided not to
I decided to live on and face the reality
I didn't just want to loose you, I didn't want to loose myself
Here is a terrible poem, I don't have inspiration right now and I had a lot of things to worry about in my life so I hadn't written anything new. Thank you all so much for getting me to 800+ views on my last poem! I really appreciated it, it put a smile on my facell knowing my last poem got through a lot of people.
562 · Oct 2017
You don't know me
Ella Oct 2017
I'm the girl in the corner
The one who isn't recognized

You think i'm weird
You think I'm stupid
But you don't know me
You don't know me

I could be the serial killer who is on the loose
I could be the person blackmailing you
I could be you're lost sibling from long ago
But you don't know me
You don't know me

I can come as close to you as I want
But you don't know that
Because you don't know me
But I know you
493 · Nov 2017
Miss Leader
Ella Nov 2017
So when it did become right for someone to be the boss of everyone, cuz the way I see it, it's definitely not okay on any standards

Whatever I'm hopeless
Useless
But I bet if another person was there you wouldn't mind leaving me behind

I see the way you act towards other people

Treating them all special and me as a person who follows you who is miss royalty and I'm just the person who you think is always gonna be there for ya

Well guess what, I think not
I'm sick and tired of you're laziness
You always complain when something isn't right
I can't be myself at any level or you'll think I'm being rude and disrespect towards you

I have to smile all the time to make you think that I'm fine with my life

If I even tried to tell you what's wrong you would just look at me weirdly and not even listen

How did you even find me in the first place?
Can you like not, I'm tired and hate even being next to you but of course I can't say anything but oh well for now
ANGRY
482 · Nov 2017
Just a bit more
Ella Nov 2017
I'm here standing at the edge of the cliff
Ready to jump and give in
I feel my hair flow in the wind
I'm no longer restless and I'm ready to end everything

I suddenly feel something inside me break
My heart was already broken so what is this feeling now?
I feel a pull from behind
It's taking me back
Farway from the end

To start new and fresh
I have been pulled away from the cliff but why?

A force that could stop me from giving up which I can't name
I didn't know a force like that could exist

A hope and a smile so great that could make me rethink everything
To make me think that I could still stay
479 · Mar 2018
Waiting
Ella Mar 2018
I'm waiting for the day that you look over here once again
That day that our eyes met
I was forever changed

I couldn't explain it
I didn't understand it
I was flustered with emotions
I was filled with things that I never had felt before

I couldn't take it anymore
So I decided to find you
To bring you back to me

I didn't want to feel like this
But as soon as you came by my side I felt so much better

So I decided to keep waiting
Even if it's for a little
that I'm by your side

It's worth it because you know how to make me smile once again
435 · Nov 2017
Where are you going?
Ella Nov 2017
That light over there...
Yes that one...it's new
I usually fail to reach anything but that's a new light isn't it?

Another chance to try again
I got this I can make it

With you at my side I can...
I can do anything
But will you last?
Will you stay?
Will you leave?

I need you here but...
Who is she?
Where are you going?

I'm over here but where are you?
Wait but you were the light?
How did I not notice?

Though it's too late now
I'm in the dark now and forever
And I will forever really need you
382 · May 2018
Control
Ella May 2018
I feel pain too easily
I feel love and cry for the easiest

I'm crying and dying on the inside

Sometimes out of sadness or maybe just anger

I want to punch a wall or maybe even just **** as a test

I wish to not feel anything anymore
For it would be way more easier

Where their is pain there is darkness
And where there is darkness their is dreadful hopeless silence
379 · Nov 2017
Me?
Ella Nov 2017
Me?
Why me?
Of all the people
She was behind me
And she was in front of me
There were a million others

So why did it have to be me?
Was it fate?
Or just cruelty?

Did you not have anyone else in mind?
Why did you take you're time to pick me?
Why did you take all that time to ruin me?

I believed you
I thought about you
You created a new world for me
Then you destroyed it
Bit by bit

My heart bit by bit
Gone
Empty
And changed forever
347 · May 2018
Faraway Beauty
Ella May 2018
That faraway beauty which I have forever longed is with me
For even if we're separated you're presence is always near

The one person who calms me down
Brings a real smile upon my face and sees me for who I am

Is with me no matter how far away
You'll proably soon say that you'll be taking your leave but that's not true
Since in my heart you'll always remain true
297 · Nov 2017
Hold up
Ella Nov 2017
How many times do I have to keep trying?
You've messed me up enough times already.
Ive tried telling you,
calling you,
looking at you for a new answer
But nothing works, I don't think it ever will.

I have the same words in my mind all the time.
I wish you could see how it's like to live under you
To be smashed to the ground
And not be able to get up

Whatever I'll stay like this a little longer
But you're going to regret the day that I snap and you're going to wonder what went wrong
Jisatsu shitaidesu       Jisatsu shitaidesu
     Jisatsu shitaidesu        Jisatsu shitaidesu
295 · Oct 2017
Race to the end
Ella Oct 2017
Its something I must face
I need to find a new path to trace
I wish life was a pretty piece of lace
but you end up finding out that life is a very bad taste

Life is just a giant horrible race
that you have to and need to end and face
My first poem was so bad, wow.
292 · Nov 2017
Exchange
Ella Nov 2017
What did I do to deserve a life like this?
I don't remember doing anything so wrong

Everyone around me is always so happy and cheerful but then I'm just left in the corner
Do I have to suffer in exchange of everyone's happiness?
Is that what's going on?

It would make more sense if it were that way
268 · Oct 2017
The time is just right
Ella Oct 2017
I start over after seeing my mistake
Will I make it this time, will I not?
I have many ideals on what I want
but can I really make them true?

I fall, I cry, and I lie
but how soon will I die?

I need an answer for I can't count on anyone no more

Will I ever see the light again or just clocks ticking as I continue to struggle to change the past?

I need a way out but I just have you in mind, I have sworn to save you no matter what they may throw at me

I must try again and again till I reach you finally because maybe then that day you won't run away and you'll stay
267 · Nov 2017
I'm stuck
Ella Nov 2017
Where should I go now?
My feet can't move
But I'm not stuck
I'll make sure
To get out
Of this
Alright?
This is really short! I've been really upset recently. -'
235 · Oct 2017
Counting on
Ella Oct 2017
For many days I have counted
I have seen many things
Sometimes new
Sometimes old
And the worst it sometimes repeats

When I first saw you I knew you were the one
The day I see you again I will likely snap
What is this feeling of need
That I desire?
I have no choice but to stay hidden much more longer
How much will I last I don't know

— The End —