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Agnes de Lods Jun 25
I flowed into the dark blue ocean of symbols.
Just yesterday,
I walked with heavy footsteps,
well-grounded.

But once again,
an irresistible force lifted me.
I wanted to see what was above.

Then I came back,
changed,
less happy,
a part of me scattered
in that an alternative universe.

Now, worlds overlapping appear,
The sun is shining with different light.
Words change their meaning.
The fog thickens so,
I can no longer see fissures
under my feet.

Step by step, carefully,
I try to pass through
a dimension of forgotten dreaming.

I don’t want to be stuck
inside an illusion for too long.
Looking at my heart still glowing,
devoured by some voices,
bite by bite, crumb by crumb.

They come in need,
then dissolve like ghosts.

How can one love,
under the heavy weight of knowing—
with Lapis Lazuli pressed
against my chest?

I don’t want to vanish
into sticky spider webs
into formal language  
that is too cold,
too detached.

Two forces fight inside me
To see the truth, even if it hurts,
or to close my eyes,
and idealize brutal reality.

Looking in the distorted mirror,
observing love quivering on the verge.
And thus, the Earth becomes the theater.

The cynical facades ******
with pretended freedom,
taking every hour,
every month,
every year,

into

PROGRESSIVE
DE…HUMANIZATION
I hardly think about you
Except when the music plays
And I realize that no one else
In the whole wide world
Knows the lyrics
But us...
Once or twice a day is not that much, after all...
How do I explain what I feel inside?
It’s like being underwater
not drowning,
but floating,
weightless in a sea that’s all your own,
where every breath tastes like salt
but there’s no shore in sight.
It’s the kind of emptiness
that fills you
until you forget what it feels like to be full,
until you forget there was ever anything
before this.
Would you care,
if I told you that I sometimes find myself
standing at the edge of things,
wondering if I’ve always been standing there,
waiting for something—
for you, maybe,
or for something that feels like you,
something that could make sense of this disjointed silence
I’ve come to call my life?
I’m not sure anymore.
Time is a ghost,
and I can’t even tell if I’m still chasing it
or running away.
The days have started folding in on themselves,
as though they were never separate at all?
Each moment a mirror of the next,
and every part of me
a version of something I used to be,
but nothing I recognize.
  Jun 25 Agnes de Lods
badwords
. (Mythology Re-Imagined As Fairy-Tale & Deconstructed) .

No one recalls when he arrived.
He was already there, in the corners of high rooms.
Carried in on wind or instinct.
Too composed to belong, too still to be ignored.

He wasn't from the sea, though he stared at it often.
Stared like a man who missed something he never touched.
He lived above things—above feeling, above endings.
He wore distance like other men wear charm.

And she—well.
She wasn’t where she was supposed to be.

---

They said she’d been sealed beneath water before time had a name.
Not drowned. Not sleeping.
Just paused.

A beauty left half-sketched.
A song trapped on the bridge, never reaching the chorus.
She existed in the almost.
The kind of presence that ruins men who believe in silence.

No one put her there.
But something had.
Something old and silver-lipped, a clockmaker with no face.

---

When he found out, he didn’t shout.
Didn’t storm.
Storms are for men who want to be heard.

He simply started unmaking himself.

Small things, at first:

Giving away secrets he never told.

Letting starlight fall from his shoulders like ash.

Standing in rooms long enough for people to forget he was tall.

Eventually, he gave away the last thing he had—
the part of him that never wanted anything.

And that was enough.

---

She came back like foam curling over marble.
Not as a lover. Not as a reward.
As weather.

She passed him by.

Looked at the space he’d vacated inside himself
and nodded, as if to say: “Yes. That will do.”

---

After that, things changed.

She walked through the city like someone who could end it.
Touched doorframes and left them trembling.
Spoke only when the sentence would shatter something.

He, on the other hand,
was seen less and less.
Not gone—just thinned out, like smoke after a gunshot.

---

Some say he became the silence in her laugh.
Others claim he left, unfinished, like a poem crumpled in a lover’s pocket.
No one’s sure.

But if you ask the sea just right—
after midnight, after mirrors—
you’ll hear it whisper:

“He let go of the sky, so she could walk through it.”

{fin}
  Jun 25 Agnes de Lods
badwords
There was once a child
born beneath the sign
of unburial.

She carried too much—
not in arms
but in tethered memory.
Things with no names,
only weights.

A cracked watch
that ticked in reverse.
A button from a coat
that no one had worn
in three generations.

A feather
from a bird
dreamt once
by her grandmother,
never seen again.

She believed—
as those marked by absence do—
that keeping meant remembering,
and remembering meant
nothing would vanish.

Others crossed her path,
offered to help unfasten the straps.
She refused.
They did not know
which talismans bled
and which only looked like wounds.

So she walked.
Through salt seasons,
through bone-rattling frost,
through forests with no floor
and skies that never asked her name.

The bag grew heavier.
She grew cleverer.
Silent.

And then—
on a day that wasn’t special,
under a sun that wasn’t kind—
she set it down.
Not as surrender.
As an experiment.

The earth did not crack.
The ghosts did not scatter.
Her shadow did not abandon her.

She sifted the contents.
Some were dust.
Some were still singing.
Some curled away like dried petals
and begged to be left behind.

She took a key.
She took the bell.
She left the rest
for the moss.

She walked on.

Not lighter, exactly—
but less governed
by the shape
of her grief.
  Jun 25 Agnes de Lods
badwords
. Foam Born .

I. The Embrace That Would Not Let Go

He lay with her each dusk — sky heavy, tight —
a velvet weight upon her fertile chest,
yet every child they bore was locked in night,
stillborn by starlight, banished from her breast.

Her rivers screamed beneath his endless hush,
“These sons, these cyclones, swallowed in the shell —
will you deny the earth her primal crush?
I am not grave! I am a living well!”


II. The Sickle and the Spilling

The youngest, Cronus, sickle in his grip,
waited where the shadows kissed the dew,
and when the vault came down to taste her lip,
he struck — and all of heaven split in two.

The sky was torn, his cry a voiceless bell,
his stars spilled out in blood and brine and foam —
the severed spark cast where the sea gods dwell,
with salt as womb, and ocean as her home.


III. She Who Rises From the Wound

And from that wound — not love, but something stranger:
a woman whole, not born but wrought of flame —
her thighs held thunder, her kiss tasted danger,
her beauty blushed with no desire for shame.

They named her Aphrodite, fair of face —
but deep within, the storm still sang her tune.
What man could bear the child of sky's disgrace?
What god could tame the daughter of a wound?


IV. The Inheritance of Foam

Uranus fell, but in his fall, he gave
the world its mirror made of lust and ache —
a grace not born to serve, nor meant to save,
but one that calls the rigid soul to break.

Where he ruled order, she walks with unrest,
with seas that churn and hearts that crave the flame.
She is the shiver through the armored chest,
the name he never dared to speak by name.


V. Venus, the Unasked Question

So now she stands, a goddess made of fracture —
flesh spun from sky, from vengeance and delight —
a promise that no world can long enrapture,
a blush that haunts the sternest veil of night.

Not love, not peace — she is the sweet undoing,
the artful ruin sung in every kiss,
the wound that keeps the sterile stars from stewing,
and bids us all be broken into bliss.


{fin}
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