You try to be a gust of wind
You try to blow out my candle of passion...

You tell me I am waste
and that I have no taste

'You ain't gonna make it', you say
'I ain't gonna take that', I say.

Call me a zero
I'll be your hero one day.
Throw stones at me..
I'll only learn to defend them better.
I have the will to ****
Every negative thought you throw at me...

I'm here to fight..
I'm here to win...
And no matter what...
I'm not giving in.

Only the stars knew...
how much I searched the night sky...
for a constellation akin to your face
knowing 'twas the only medium connecting us.

Only the stars knew...
how much I cried those nights,
knowing that you'd never be mine.

Only the stars knew...
how much I longed to hold your hand and gaze at them...
with you by my side.

Only the stars knew...
The plethora of thoughts that crossed my mind,
every time I barely managed to look into your eyes.

Only the stars knew...
that I knew..
I was just charmed...
by the face I saw..
Just the face,
not the person.
Just the face...
Just the pleasure I got
from stealing glances at it.

And finally,
Only the stars knew...
the guilt and shame,
accompanying these thoughts.

P- People
A- are
I- in
N- need.

Someday, in some way,
we'll learn to grow apart...
GRACEFULLY.

Someday, in some way,
we'll fall out....
just like
we fell in.

Someday, in some way,
we'll find better ways
to fill our voids.
We'll discover  that
autumn is  spring...
REDEFINED.
And that
we too like a candle
need to burn in our pain
to  ILLUMINATE
those like us.

Someday, NOT today,
we'll be happier with each other...
as memories...
than as people.

Someday, NOT today,
we'll shake hands as acquaintances,
MERE acquaintances....
with 'no-longer-intense' memories...
between us.

But.............
That someday ain't gonna be today...............
Neither is it gonna be in eternity.

Today, we've chosen to let go
because we've realised...
the HARD WAY... that
WE aren't worth holding on anymore.
I don't know about you,
but...
Today, I'm lost...
lost in the ocean of my AGONY....
blindly rowing till I find
an island in myself .......
I haven't inhabited .....
YET.

And SOMEday , NOT today, NOT in eternity...
I'll get there...
I PROMISE...
not YOU...
but MYSELF.

If you see a newspaper with scribbles all over it,
That's my mind.
If you are holding a lighter that hasn't enough liquid to light itself,
That's what it's like.
If you're trapped in the middle of the sea blindly rowing till you see a patch of land,
That's my situation.

No, I ain't sad..
No, I ain't angry...
No, I ain't happy...
But
If you call it empty..
then, I'm empty...
And,
"Empty vessels make the most noise".
And sometimes for me,
Making noise means writing poetry.

Solitary she lies...
her mind filled with thoughts
that defeat her.
Her body covered with scars...
she hates to look at.
She looks at herself..
too weak to cry.
She looks around her...
There's none...
But the walls of the room she lay...
She knew those walls existed in her too,
too difficult to be broken.
Despite all, she has a tiny ray of hope..
that she'll be who she was meant to be
that she too will smile like she never did...
Yes, she's waiting for it.
She's waiting for her heart to be set free...
from all that's stopping her.
But for the moment,
She's nothing but,
"A Bleeding Heart".

You've seen me..
probably many times
But I doubt you'll ever recognize
for you've seen many like me.
I hope you're still half green- half pastel...
like you used to be...
You were the journey.........
to my ' little destination' in the mornings
and
to my coaster in the afternoons...

You were the sole spectator
to various secret meetings...
The anecdotes you see and hear in a single day
could make you a best selling author
had you been born human...

Every walk I took through you was beautiful...
But the ones I cherish
are the ones I took in solitude
engaging in a conversation with myself.

You are what I call
"The Corridor of Memories"
and like a beautiful memory itself,
You will never be forgotten.
You'll stay forever in my heart.

Standing in a place so familiar
A place where memories were once made
A place where imaginary giggles still echoed.

I can see myself in every corner
Laughing,
Playing,
Seldom, crying.

A place that was once mine
And now, is someone else's.

I looked up the sky, still the same
The stars still up there
Smiling at me
The moon still in the same spot,
Just like the last time I was there
The floor is so dusty
That I begin to wonder if anyone still lived there.

I looked up at the moon-lit sky once more
This time, my glance fell on the three bright stars of the Orion 's belt
I think of my little family ;
Me in the middle,
My parents on either sides.
It' s the only place where,
I can see us together now
For, they too, like this
'Dusty- old terrace',
have become
bitter sweet memories
That do nothing, but warm up my heart
And let tears
roll down my cheeks.

My comfort zone is more like a black-hole...
I fall into it real easy....
And when i finally get this teeny weeny bit of determination to get out of it, it pulls me back into it leaving me feeling lazy, depressed, anxious and guilty all at once.

It was whilst trying to be like the rest
that I lost myself.