I don’t know why I keep writing
I have nothing more to say
My muse is gone
I miss him so much
Just so there’s no confusion, this one is definitely for you
We’re all in love with the idea of being in love
Wrapped in *** and ****

What happened to true love,
That intimate feeling without having to undress

I had that and I loved feeling loved from head to toe with my clothes on
I loved that you loved me without conditions
You were and still are the only one who understood me and truly made me feel special

Love isn’t real
Not anymore
It’s the first person who gives you a chance
The person who makes you feel just an ounce of happiness

I was 80% of what you were looking for in a love and I guess that other 20% was worth more than me

I know my place but I can’t promise I’ll stay away
All I can do is try
I didn’t do my part and I ******* up. I know that now.
What if I showed up on your front step?
What if I knocked on your door and smiled when you opened it?
Would you lose all sense of control and throw yourself into my arms?
Would you push me back and turn me away?

You always said I was welcome.
You always talked about how if you saw me you would take me in your arms and never let me go.

I wonder if any of that still rings true.
I wonder did you forget me completely.

Would you even recognize me if I were on your front porch?
Would you bother to hear me out?

I don’t know the answers to any of these questions and it’s killing me.
I don’t know who you are anymore.

So when I show up to your front step I’ll be waiting.
I just need to know.

A few demos I released tonight just to put my voice out there
I used to write poetry worth reading
My words were worth saying
And now my content is sad and bland
It’s like playing an old record on repeat over and over until the needle runs down and then it all starts to sound like nonsense mended together

Before you happened I was picking fresh pieces of my heart and soul off the ground that had been recently shattered and taken from me by someone else
I was finally feeling right and good with myself and then you happened

Before you happened I thought true love was real and true and out there for me but you took that away

During us I felt a temporary bliss and it was amazing until I started growing a mind of my own and becoming myself
Questioning life and forming my opinions and views on the world
I don’t think you liked that

During us we fell apart and came together over and over and every time that happened a piece of me fell behind and it all happened so fast that by the time I thought I caught up with the pain and love and every emotion, I realized how much of my true self I left behind

After you happened my world was dark and cold and lonely
No happiness left, just fake smiles
All the pieces I left behind are lost forever and I have no hope of finding myself again
But it seems you lost nothing and that’s the worst part of all

After you happened you took all of me with you and gave it to someone else
You took my words, my love, my heart, my soul and everything else
Maybe you’ll do the same to her
Maybe you won’t
I couldn’t possibly know

After you happened my poetry fell short
My heart went cold
My life stopped
Everything from this point on is just going to be a series of blurs
I have nothing left to live for
No muse to write for
And no reason to love or adore another person again

I can’t even find it in my heart to love myself. So thank you for taking everything away.

             F     Y    N
                 L    I     G

I’m trying to

I’m in the dust and you’re flying high by the clouds and you’ve left me to fend for myself and I can’t breathe. Where did we go wrong, my love? Where did we go wrong...
I only regret not appreciating you when I had you. It was ****** of me. And I apologize for that. But I don’t apologize for apologizing. I’m trying to be the bigger person. And I don’t regret it.
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