Till whenever

I'll hold you till whenever
When we stare into each others eyes
And see no fault in our stars
We clearly shouldn't be five feet apart
For the space between us would be the end of the ******* world
For in my arms I'll hold you tight
Till whenever
You'd always be picture perfect
With memories of your imperial smile
I'd always be in pursuit of your happiness
Hoping to sweet serenade you in my imaginative fantasy filled head
Till whenever
Walk to me like a whisper,
A quiet place for our hearts to sync
Lean into me and find my lips.
Come closer and be held.
Lay your head on my chest
And hear my heart
Play your music
We'd make love with crazy abandonment
Twists n Turns as we forget about tomorrow
Cos' till whenever
We'd hold the memory of tonight.

I wish I could go back to the days
Before the walls came up
When I was still a child
Discovering what love feels like
Bouncing through definitions untold
Where rainbows and fairy tales were promising
Not now though
Not now,
Where I'd beg for one more day to be with you
I wish I could go back
Before I had this atom of courage
When I was still terribly shy
When I still used to hide myself away when girlfriends came to visit
And I'll give myself a good laugh afterwards
Simpler times for me
I wish I could go back to the days
Where heartaches were still a myth
And the butterflies in my belly were still caterpillars ready to blossom
And I know not the time to put in a perfect rhyme
Before I became the writer in distress
I wish I could go back
Before the demons came to play
Just then,
Before the walls came up.

There I was
Laid bare on my death bed
With tearful eyes watching over me
Praying, hoping & wishing for an extra life
But I knew my game was over duly
With a ripper by my side for comfort
And only my thoughts
To keep the warmth
Take me back to the night
Where we fell in love
For that was when I felt truly free
I could easily have 13 reasons why (

I have walked this path before
It wasn't the beginning of an end
But it had a domino effect
It had set up the opening for a broken piece
I have walked this path before
I know the road to heaven isn't pretty at all
And hell isn't as wide as proclaimed
I have walked this path before
I have lived in trust
Where secrets are whispered to the wind for another ears turn
And I know how disappointment works
We're pretty much close
I have walked this path before
I know how courage and confidence works
They're intertwined
I have drowned myself in words I couldn't speak
I have hidden in the shadows for I know eyes could not see
And I have deemed myself not good enough to be worthy
I have walked this path before
I have dreamt about death plenty a times
I know how the noose is *******
A perfect sequence
To a journey beautiful at first
I have walked this path
And I know there's no going back.

I know someone
Who's just like me
Who hides in the shadows of fear
Made by an unnameable company
Wary of his own demons
And so smiles a lot too
A mirage of own being

I know someone
Who's just like me
Who feels the pain of the broken
Wary of the own million pieces
But still pretends as if made whole
A fabled fabric of elasticity

I know someone
Who's just like me
Who feels the hate within himself for herself
Wary of the anger & resentment
Behold the grudge with disappointment
In search of serenity
A lighthouse of hope in the desert

I know someone
Who's just like me
In pursuit of happiness
Who feels suicide is inevitable
Wary of living a life in the abyss
I know someone
Who still holds on
There's a tiny noose still
Who feels there's this tiny little love left to grasp.

A walk through time
A walk through dust
Leaving no trace
No footprints to be seen
A visitor in my own mind
Who makes the decisions?
Is it I or is it you that is me
Who would get the blame?
If fingers were pointed
Who would stumble when the path was chose wrong?
Would it be me or just you that is also me
Go back forth, push through time
The good, the bad and the ugly
Which memory would in turn be mine?
Would you at least share the darkness with me
And throw a pinch of happiness in my direction
Do not forsake me for I plead
I have walked through time
Swam around the dusty ocean
No footprints to be seen
For now I know not
The visitor in my mind.

If I had three wishes, they'd all be for the benefit of someone else