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The wine you left behind
Almost as bitter as you
The touch the skin oh how did it begin
It seemed so ******* right
To have you over in my bed to feel you the whole night.
You're so **** firm I start to squirm
Choke me harder please
I ease on top and off I got oh god you're such a tease
I pull your hair it's so unfair
Harder faster we *****,
Because it's the best I've ever had and nope
**it wasn't you.
It's been two years since I left you
Here you are
Again
I watched some old videos and went through all our pictures
You were bright and happy and kissed me a lot
You had hope and you danced with me too
I forgot how much fun we used to have
And the kind of people we used to be
I don't regret a single thing except what happened
To you and me
How can I be so evil to the one I used to breathe for?
I am hurt and so spiteful
I am mad and ill met
I am sorry
I'll see you in a month
I hurt myself for loving you
There's a monster inside me I don't know what she'll do
Words are weapons for the weak
Without you I barely sleep
I broke my own heart in trying to mend yours
Every day I am alive is an endless chore
You hate me get in line
I'll never forgive myself until the end of time
I watch the ceiling change from black to grey to a pale yellow as the morning comes
I've barely slept I can't close my eyes
She sleeps soundly to my left
My baby dozing on my right
Her boyfriend is as restless as I
Awake
He ***** me with his eyes
She stirs, he says "I love you" but is staring at me
She drowsely kisses his cheek, he bites my wrist
Thud thud thud in my veins
The pulsing in his lust
I can only close my eyes and pray the beast finds rest soon
They are always hungry those sleeping beasts
I'm cold
But I still care
I'm distant
But I wish you were here
My head and my heart don't go hand in hand
Unless that hand is strangling the other in demand
I'm hurting too but don't pity me
I need this, I know it, you know it, someday we'll see
If I get better and you do too
Maybe there's peace in this life again for me and you
All over the place but finally going somewhere
Heavy lidded dozy diver I can feel how
much you tire
Your hands are shaking needlessly as you live life on a wire
Drugs sustain your anxious brain from
filling up with doubt
While your head caves in and your skin
wears thin all you crave is
out
.
I see them all
the ghosts from my past
Smiling taking selfies with the "squad"
who kisses their ****
They have everything handed to them
Everything laid out for them
Their futures paid for them
Those narcissistic freaks that took me for granted.
So maybe I am a creep as radiohead describes
Maybe I'm a nerd and live a different kind of life
But one thing is for certain until the day I die
I'm better off without you *******
You're living a tedious lie.
You never cared for me anyway, no wonder I was bullied so much. My "friends" were behind it all.
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