I wonder did I mean
As much to you as you did me.
Was I a saviour, a light,
The other body who matched your soul?
Was I the best smile you ever had
Or the thing that woke that smile?
Or was I just simply
Foolishly in love with you?
In a way you never felt.
But mostly now I wonder
If you miss me,
Like a flower devoid of sunlight,
Like I miss you.

The words rang like blasphemy
through the air,
in an instant sprang back
with garish giddiness.
‘It’s fine!’
‘It’s fine!’
Smiles laced with ***** downed with a spurious solid sobriety.
‘It’s fine!’

It isn’t though,
Is it?
The ***** will tell you that. Nagging like it’s filling a newly burned bruise.
And it’ll be ‘not fine’ when you feel
more love in stagnant conversations
than you did in impetuous kisses.
I’m sure they felt like lightning
during those hours

I turned you into art
And my mind fed.
It breathed hard and hearts exploded in red and pink.
Beautiful really,
And I can’t ever be silent now I know you exist.