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Abbithian Mar 2018
I love you. Sorry, I don’t.
It isn’t worth trying to fix
You will always be my friend
She promised we would never change
They said they would never leave
My future does not need you
Are you happy? I don’t know
My wishes still pray for you
“Have fun at school” never returned
“Who hurt you” My family's expectations
I just want my heart back
Everything I didn’t need, you were
Abbithian Nov 2017
Hi
thanks for being my friend
          thanks for putting me on the back burner when someone else
          shows up
          thanks for turning people I want to be friends with away
          thanks for never being there for me and then accusing me of
          being selfish when I tried to tell you
          thanks for being a really good actress when it came to you
          feeling bad about anything that happened in my family
          thanks for letting me do all the work on our projects while you
          play a video game on my laptop
          thanks for everything you did to me
thanks for making me stronger
thanks for making me realize
thanks for being an amazing friend
Abbithian Apr 1
It’s never been them, always her. This girl is terrified of commitment inside and out. She can’t commit to a single person. She knows she’s destined to do great things, but she never wants to stop or put a hole in someone else’s plans. Other people want kids, and a house with a white picket fence. She wanted someone who will love her and a small home on the outskirt of a city. She’s distant, sometimes dropping off social media and communication over the phone for days. She just gets sick of it sometimes and never responds. She worries her friends. No, it’s never been them, only her. She doesn’t care what they do, talk to others, go out, she doesn’t care. She trusts them no matter what. She believes if they cheat, they aren’t worth her time and she moves on. She’s always wondering if she’s found the right person. She’s always wondering what if. She can’t settle down because she might miss something. She wants her imagination to be real. She sets her standards to high. She wants someone taller than her, smart, funny, not clingy, masculine. She wants this guy, but if he exists, he’s with someone better. She’s stubborn and doesn’t want to change, but she needs to. She needs to learn to change if she ever wants to be happy. No one will be able to love her like this. But the other thing wrong with her, does she know what love is? Will she be able to love if someone else loves her. Will she be able to stop with the what ifs when she finds the right person? Will she know she’s with the one when those what ifs stop? Or will she have to stop them herself? The final question she must ask her, does she love herself? Can anyone love her if she doesn’t love herself first?
Abbithian Nov 2017
There are days when I want to give up
I want to leave so I don't have to deal with you
I want to cry

But I don't think you deserve to win
You don't deserve my tears
You don't get to become 'famous' on my account

You deserve friends who are as ****** as you
You deserve to be brought up under a fake name
You deserve everything that's coming to you

Cause Karma's a *****
Abbithian Nov 2017
Fish
I love you
I haven't even met you
And I love you
I don't know anything about you
You don't know anything about me
And I love you
You already have my heart
You have a home
And it's with me
I love you
Fish
Fish is my new cat
Abbithian May 9
Its so hard to see you
And not say a single word
You don't look at me
The way I look at you
And I wish you would come over and say hi
I really wish that would happen this time

And I can't tell if you're still greiving
Or if you're over her
And I really wish I knew what you thought of me
Cause right now it seems
I'm just another fish in the sea
Abbithian Mar 2018
forever young
is false
We are only as
young as
We live our lives
Abbithian Oct 2017
Sometimes I wonder why none of my friends talk to me anymore
Then it hits me

















You drove them all away
Her
Abbithian Dec 2017
Her
She brings me smiles and laughs
She makes me sing and dance with glee
and She
She is the prettiest girl I've ever seen
And all I want is her heart
And she can have mine in return
For eternity
She takes on everything absolutely fearlessly
She is the better half of me
She smart and sweet
and everything in between
I've know this for years
through smiles and tears
She was meant for me
But I was not meant for Her
Abbithian Oct 2017
I don’t miss you
I don’t miss the always being pushed to the side
I don’t miss the being ignored
I don’t miss you always putting yourself first
I don’t miss you never listening to  my rants
I don’t miss me trying to tell you I’ve had a bad day
And you telling me your’s was worse
I don’t miss you thinking you deserved more than I did
I don’t miss you thinking you were better than me
I don’t miss you never showing up to anything that was important to me
I don’t miss our friendship







I miss talking **** in German class
I miss gushing about youtubers
I miss going to Sunrise after every school event
I miss having someone to make bad jokes
I miss having someone to fangirl with
I miss having someone I would tell all my secrets to
I miss going to Penn State to compete a poster
I miss our memories
Abbithian Oct 22
I just want to be in love
Is that so much to ask for?
I just want someone who loves me
who thinks I'm funny, even when I'm not
who thinks I'm pretty, even when I'm a mess
who thinks I'm everything they could ever want
I want to be someone's everything
I want someone who smiles when I message them
who gets excited about seeing me
who makes an effort to see me just because
who can't keep their eyes off of me
who sneaks glances at me when they shouldn't
who can't get me off of their mind
I want someone who loves my little quirks
how I tap my nose when I want to remember something
how I play with my jewelry when I get nervous or uncomfortable
how I can't sit still so I play with my hands
how I curl up under blankets during thunderstorms
I don't want to have to force it
I want it to be real
It has to be real
I just want to be in love
Abbithian Oct 2017
It stings to sit at a table with you
and know you are trying to pull my friends away

It stings to sit 3 feet away from you
and no one at the table is going to acknowledge me

It stings to think that you had my heart
and you threw it away for someone who dumped you after a week

It stings to look back on us and our good times
and realize I wasn't happy

It stings to know you still have a pull on my life
and I don't want you anywhere near me anymore

It stings so much
and you're still putting lemon in the hole you put in my back when you stabbed me
Abbithian Nov 2017
i miss you
i miss everything about you
i miss late nights
i miss giggle fits at 2am
i miss not being alone
i miss having you next to me no matter what
i miss having a 'sister'
i miss having you 3 feet away at night
i miss not feeling alone
i miss you
I miss us
This is about my exchange student who was only here for 2 weeks but it was like we'd known each other for a lifetime. I get to see her again in less than 7 months
Abbithian Feb 2018
"You'll always be my best friend"
Thank you for not abandoning me after not sharing feelings
Thank you for not leaving me after I confessed
Thank you for promising to never leave
And I know it's not your fault
But thank you for the broken heart
Abbithian Mar 2018
First Love
First Kiss
First Broken Heart
Abbithian Jan 28
My heart has healed
All thanks to you
You helped me move on
To someone new
And even though
I don't have those feeling now
You'll always be the one
Who my whole heart found
Abbithian Dec 2017
My Mama said
Are you happy now?
My Mama said
Are you happy with who you've become?
And I don't care
Who you love
or who you date
or who you marry.
As long as you're happy
Abbithian Jan 2018
I'm ready to begin again
Where my life doesn't revolve
around having a million fake friends
A popularity contest for 13 years of my life
I'm ready to not be afraid
To stand on an edge and say
I'm me, all me, and only me
To be someone
I choose to be
Not some predetermined destiny
To love myself and all around
To sit on my throne as Queen
and be crowned
Oh?
Abbithian Oct 2017
Oh?
You say you hate drama
but you scream in my face

You say you care
but won't lower your caste

Your friends are my friends
you don't see that we share

Find any excuse
to turn everyone

Guess I know which side you pick
Sad to say that I knew it

Well now I know
We're done and gone

But I won't be singing
a sad song

You don't know
what you have lost

Because all you did
was brag and boast

KAA and KSA
Abbithian Apr 2018
How come good thing happen to bad people?
People who don't deserve ****
People who yell at others for no reason
People who bully people for no reason
People don't tell the truth
People who talk behind your back
People who aren't nice
And everyone knows it
And the people who give out nice thing know this
And they still give it to these people
While the good people sit in the back
Sit praying for good things
And they deserve the good things
But the bad people get them
And the good people get the harmony
Abbithian Oct 2017
Wow

I really thought this would have ended differently

Just because we’re not friends

Doesn’t give you the right to be

******

And sometimes people **** up

And sometimes things don’t work out

But people are still people

And they deserve to be treated with

Respect

How would you feel

If you were treated like ****

From an ex-friend

Just because we’re not friends

Doesn’t mean our mutual friends

Can’t spend time with me

The world doesn’t revolve around you

It doesn’t revolve around me

It revolves around the sun

And I promise you

You will never be the sun
Abbithian Jul 14
It *****, being ignored by people you thought would be your best friend forever. Maybe it would hurt less if I hadn't seen it coming. Maybe if the texts, calls, laughs, and smiles just stopped one day it wouldn't hurt as much or for as long. Maybe I could've healed and moved on. But I saw it and I tried to fix it. And I couldn't. I watched as my friends grew distant. I watched my friends slowly stop inviting me to things. I watched as my friends had more and more excuses to not spend time with me. I watched as waves turned to smiles turned to looking at their phone to avoid me. I watched for 2 years. And I couldn't stop it. I tried. I tried to make plans with them, do things they like, but they were always busy. The people I was closest to, I felt used by. I was invited to everything when I was the only one with a license and a car. I was the ride. I was invited to everything but I drove everyone. And then I was on the outskirts. But once they started driving, I wasn't needed. And when you're not needed, you're discarded. They slowly pierced my heart and tore it up. Once school ended, I never got a text from them. No calls. Nothing. It hurt. And they don't care. And I don't think they ever did. But the saddest part is, I'm still trying.
Abbithian Apr 12
You are Smart
You are Kind
You are Funny
You are Talented
You are Amazing
You are Trustworthy
You are Brave
You are not a Burden

— The End —