I thought I loved the East Coast until I saw your eyes look back at me under the moonlight slipping through the window.
I thought I loved the East Coast until we were pressed together, laughing, trying to fit on your twin mattress.
I thought I loved the East Coast until I felt your breath on my neck at four in the morning.
I long for the Pacific and for you to take me there.

I have my grocery list in my hand,
a pack of razor blades
a gallon of bleach
a bottle of *****
an egg
I have my grocery list in my hand,
but I am listless.

Sometimes I crack a smile
when my dog wakes me up with his kisses
Sometimes I make eggs
for him, of course,
I would never waste them on myself
With this list, I'm gone
I make my dog eggs and me a bath
For me, bleach, *****, razor
soon to be listless no more
I open the bottle and welcome the burn

You have deprived me of sentence constructions.
I want the world to stop
Belle and Sebastian ringing in my ears
Again, again, again
Not singing, not music, just ringing
Like a bomb exploded too close.
Pink hair, cute glasses, cuter smile
Desperation and drowning
Losing you bit by bit,
First it was the desire to stop talking
Then it was blocking Facebook messages
Then it was whatsapp
Then it was now seemingly deleting Facebook.
I can't decide if you hate me or
If you are calling out for help and I
Can do nothing.
I didn't think I had loved you or known you long enough
For you to hate me.
I'm helplessly following you down a dark
Dark dark dark dark dark dark
Path.
Words are not making sense and gibberish
I'm just struggling to write through the tears
AND I NEED YOU... my oxygen
It's all I have left in my soul.
What's left if you love a ghost
But to **** yourself?

‪Do what others need.‬
‪Bury yourself in work.‬
‪Brush until you bleed.‬
‪Drink until you're numb.‬
‪Cry until you're shattered.‬
‪Then sleep may come.‬