That stranger… No… Not a stranger… Before he followed her into the water…
He whispered… "𝐼’𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑆𝑜, 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ."
I felt it. Something unfamiliar. Something… 𝑤𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔? No… not wrong… Wanted… needed…
𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑛… 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑… 𝐼𝑛 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑡ℎ… 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑖𝑚… 𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑔𝑜…
But that would mean… I… I… I 𝑑𝑒𝑓𝑖𝑒𝑑… I… 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑑.
I have one duty… This stranger… this man… No, Wind… No… friend…?
No, no, he is the enemy of my master. The fate, the sea, the tides… I owe her. I serve. I 𝑜𝑏𝑒𝑦. Because I must… 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡…?
I have always been loyal to my master… Or… ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝐼 𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑜𝑏𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡…? What’s the difference? Surely… surely there isn’t…
𝑅𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡…?
And yet… I have this instinct...
For her, my master… 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔. Only silence… Only orders... Only fate’s grip... 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑘… A command given… A command… 𝑜𝑏𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑑.
But with him… I cooperate. Not because I must. Because I… I don’t know him. But I… trust?
Perhaps he lies. Perhaps he deceives. It seems I wouldn’t be able to tell... But… friend or not, perhaps I was… perhaps I am… Loyal to him?
My master, I obeyed. Without thought… Without feeling... I simply… I only ever… 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑎𝑠 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑑... Because I had no option. It had never occurred to me… To decide…
But this stranger, this man, no, Wind, no, friend?
I don’t know, but he must be…important to me…
After all this time, I… think... I feel. And I… agree. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑦.
I agree… Not with thought, but with… heart…? My heart…? Do I have that? This… illogical intuition?
𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤... 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡… Because I haven’t felt. I haven’t thought. And what’s the point if I can’t… If I can’t… 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟?
𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑒 ℎ𝑒 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡… This… friend…? This… fool?
I am dutiful, and yet… I am… 𝑠𝑎𝑑…
The sea never made me sad... Isn’t it mercy… to be… 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦? Wasn’t it relief… 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔…?
𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠. 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠. 𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑎𝑤𝑓𝑢𝑙, 𝐼’𝑚 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑… But I want it.
This pain… Somehow a blessing. Somehow… almost freedom... 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑡. Just the promise…
If only he does not lie nor jest… If only he teaches me… what to do with such… 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑡𝑦…
𝐴 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑… 𝑜𝑓 𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ…? Can it be? What… Who is he to 𝑚𝑒…?
I… I only know… what fate said… No… She never said… As if he never existed…
But… But he does… But he knows me…
And I… I’ve… 𝐼’𝑣𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛… Someone… So… So… 𝑠𝑜 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒.
I don’t know. I don’t like it. But I want it… The patience… To wait for…
All I know is… he is right. And without him… without the truth… 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔.
All I know is… when I held him in my grasp… meant to restrain… 𝐻𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒… And I didn’t want to stand in his way any longer… 𝑆𝑜, 𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑔𝑜…
I could not bring myself to oppose his desire. Not because I couldn’t… But because I… just… 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛’𝑡…
Was that a choice…? 𝑀𝑦 choice…? No longer compelled 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑓𝑎𝑡𝑒… But a decision I made…?
“𝐼’𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢,” he whispered. And I… I agreed.
𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑔𝑛𝑖𝑧𝑒… Yet these supposed memories… of someone 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑…
Have somehow… 𝑣𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑… No… No… They were… 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑛? Stolen by… by my… master…?
Fate… the sea… who… what is she? I… I’ve never really known… I just… I just… 𝐼 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑑…
𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒, Wind… But you know me. But I want you to be right. I want you to return. I want you to help me understand.
𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑠 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛… This time… 𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝 𝑦𝑜𝑢… This time… Knowing who you are… 𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑐𝑘. 𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛.
𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙. 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦. 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡… 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙.
But you… must be. Because you’re the only thing that has made me feel. Feel… 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠. Despite…
Is it possible…? That I am…? That I will be…? That I might return to…
Something…? Someone…?
She told me I was perfect… For I was free of joy… Free of pain... 𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔…. For death is her servant… Not… 𝑚𝑒.
I am Death, and yet… She spoke of me… Like a 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔…
Was I perfect… because I was… 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔? Flawless… because I was… ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔?
𝐵𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑… 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑑? 𝐵𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼…
Please, hurry back, my… friend?
I have questions. I have… 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛.
𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔.
𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟. What it’s like to be… more than nothing. How to be someone. Not… ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔.
You fool… You’ve made me feel… Without teaching me…ℎ𝑜𝑤…𝑤ℎ𝑦...
Come back... Come back for me… Teach me…
Please return, share these missing memories. Please return, share… your company.
𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒…
𝐼 𝑠𝑢𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒. 𝐼 𝑠𝑢𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑙𝑦, 𝑎𝑚 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑. 𝐼 𝑠𝑢𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑙𝑦… 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤. 𝐼 𝑠𝑢𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑙𝑦… 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛.
Please come back, my dear fool... 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒…
I need you.
I need guidance… I don’t understand this rebellion, this freedom, these… feelings…
𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒, 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒.
𝐼’𝑚 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔… 𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑡ℎ.
𝐼’𝑚 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔…
For you.
𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠— 𝐒𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠—
𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞?
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠.
𝐓𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤—𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭. 𝐔𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝. 𝐌𝐲 𝐩𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐭 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞.
𝐒𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐲 𝐦𝐞? 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐤. 𝐀 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲. 𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠.
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲, 𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫— 𝐍𝐨— 𝐌𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐫.
𝐎𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤— 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐌𝐲 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.
...Listen, to the tenth cry for help, from 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑊𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑊𝑎𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔.
𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐲—𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬— 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐛𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞. 𝐔𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞.
𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐭. 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭.
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/136314/the-wings-of-waiting/