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2d · 256
mental segregation
Aybidee 2d
Alone, not really
At home, not really
Dead, not really
Is my time worth their love...
not really
Why did I move aside
When all I wanted was to see the inside
I lost all self pride
I love myself but I lost a stride
I like to hide
Might as well risk a cry
A single tear
I just never said "hi"
So did I expect a reply...
not really
I love this, really.
Mar 6 · 98
I feel...not
Aybidee Mar 6
I don't feel
I don't heal
It's never real
Why am I not able to get a deal?
I never feel
Pain is an impulse
Love is a false alarm
Anger is inside
Is it a feeling?
It's a weakness
I miss happiness
I'm Dead on the inside
I see hate, in everyone
From the baby to granny,
Hate, raw, pure, hatred
Why?
Delusion,
   Allusion,
       Confusion,
Save me, from me
I can't handle me
Me...me...Me
I never cry
Feb 21 · 46
Knock Knock
Aybidee Feb 21
hey
Open up
Let me in
Don't hold up
It's the pain within
hey
Why not open?
It's me you want
Not him
I'm the **** within
hey
Open the door
I want you
I need you
I adore you
I'm the love within
hey, hey, hey,
Open
It's me
The devil within
Feb 12 · 75
5 Minutes in Hell
Aybidee Feb 12
7:55 a.m.

Walk in
Breath
Look at the clock
Heath

7:56 a.m.

Look at the watch
Clean
No more worries
Just light
Breath

7:57 a.m.

Stacks passed out
No movement
Moment of silence
**** the room
With Ease

7:58 a.m.

Blood rushes
Running
More, more
Stress rising
Dancing on my nerves
Save me

7:59 a.m.

Freezing point
Death moves
Lives freak out
Me seeing a little dream

8....


you may start your exam, good riddance
Tuesday morning for the friendly kid
Feb 11 · 66
Swimming, Alone.
Aybidee Feb 11
Hey
Hey
Hey
Am I here?
Or am I gone?
What is gone?
Validation, is my armor
Peace, is my first love
Pain is my wife
Hey
Hey
Hey
Do you hear me
Or am I not mainstream enough
Dancing, alone.
Swimming, alone.
The world is my natatorium
As I swim, deeper,
Deeper,
Deeper, into the abyss
Hey
Hey
Hey
Look at me
I know better
You feel otherwise
Or do you feel?
Do you feel?
Feel like a ghost.
Feb 10 · 55
welcome To forever
Aybidee Feb 10
Wake up
Breath
Sleep
The cycle of life
Dancing like it's northern pike
eternal memos surround me
I'm forever eternal
eternal in the hearts
of...
(fill in the blank)
Feb 9 · 123
GROWing paIns
Aybidee Feb 9
A single breath
Back to reality
Where was I
I don't know
Ask Mrs. Anxiety
Can't focus
I see fear
I try to escape
deeper into the belly of the beast
Can't sleep
Ask Mr. Anxiety
I see things
never existed
Never will
Personified in me
the cure?
Ask Dr. Ī
Fear of Fear
Feb 8 · 40
just a man
Aybidee Feb 8
don't cry
don't speak
no emotion
rock hard, salt of the earth
never tried
never will
stay brave
don't be a woman
Softie
little boy likes literature
little boy turning ***
little boy can't give a ****
little boy is a man
just a man
Rejection of male feelings
Aybidee Feb 7
How happy is the quality quietness!
Now superior is just the thing,
To get me wondering if the quietness is prize.

Pay attention to the sob,
the sob is the most desperate unpleasant person of all.
Are you upset by how fearless it is?
Does it tear you apart to see the sob so despairing?

I saw the the yellow uncommunicativeness of my generation destroyed,
How I mourned the muteness.
Are you upset by how lily-livered it is?
Does it tear you apart to see the muteness so sensationalistic?

A vigil, however hard it tries,
Will always be serene.
Does the vigil make you shiver?
does it?

How happy is the breathless gasps!
Do the gasps make you shiver?
does it?

A weaning, however hard it tries,
Will always be heartbroken.
Does the booing make you shiver?
does it?
The Art of "MUTE"
Feb 6 · 58
Dearest God,
Aybidee Feb 6
Where are you?
Where am I?
Why are you?
I question you
I adore you
Who are you?
Who am I to question you?
Why do I have to be scared?
Why is a dance
Why is a dance with the devil
Why do you hate Why?
Am I you?
Am I my own God?
Show me
Why do you need to show me?
Why, why, why
Oh my, oh my, Oh my
Feb 6 · 241
"POEM"
Aybidee Feb 6
I want you
I need you
I have you
my ego
my ego needs you
the contours of your green edges feed me
I love you
The way you dance with me
The way you wrap around me
The way you satisfy me
I'm the protagonist
Yet you're the hero
You look
You look... Into my exchequer
If you danced away
What will I say
I'm ****
I fall, no green hedges to hide behind
No walls
No hurt
Just me
I fall

— The End —