the potential that people
see in me
is the potential
I’ll never be,
like golden rotten teeth,
society setting the bar
with dominating voices
for higher purposes
and the television
had me
chasing city dreams
on the outside,
they want me to be
all skyscrapers,
monumental
and charismatic
but on the inside,
I feel like a conflagration
of condemned buildings
collapsing to the streets
they given me
the grass
and they given me
the graves
but none of it matters
because it’s what
I decide to plant
in the ground

the people I once adored
are the people I no longer
want to be surrounded
by anymore

half the world is trying
to sell you ****
you don’t need
and the other half
is just disinterested,
yet, they feel compelled
to preach about their
new found discoveries
with the best intentions
like blue herons
swimming upstream,
again the current  

I refuse to acknowledge
the aggregation of judgment
from the principals of
prosperity, honesty and integrity
and be measured by levels of
excellence and quality
as I lower my expectations
with beer cans that
lounge like lizards
aloft my bulbous beer-belly
like buoys in the ocean,
encrusted with a layer
of mustard stained
tattered torn t-shirts,
dust on my boots,
mud on my jeans,
hair messy and knotted
absentminded to the
disease ridden impurities
and set forth into the night
with delicacy
to look up at the stars
shining so bright
and enjoy myself
because when you have
no home to live in or
roof over your head
it’s kind of hard,
not to

we are all animals,
dull creatures in the
kingdom of fire,
preoccupied with perfection
and dizzy with the
unnecessary difficulties
that standardized civilization
has bestowed upon us

humanity is the worst thing
to happen to humanity

Love is dead, love is dead!
You can hear all about it on the streets
We give,  we give!
Yet we are never given what we need
God is dead, god is dead!
There's no more need to believe
We live, we live!
But we don't know what that means

On my own here we go
Im exhausted and im confused
Im real used to getting used
My heart beats fast
I cant sit still
I forgot to take my pills
Oh my god here we go
Dissociation is my home
Disconnected from my bones
I used to love getting ******
My mind is killed
By my whims and wills
All alone take me home

Your love is *****
Your body is cheap
Your disease is the sickness that i desperately need
I cannot be free
I cannot be well
I want to die with you at the bottom of this hell
I dont need your fears
I dont need your ire
I need to feel from the inside your greatest desires
Enslave and enrage me
Confuse and conflate me
Keep upping the pace of this maddening race
Id do anything if it meant that youd save me a place

Life's a game of chance
Your parents are the dealers
Living stance is luck

I'll dissolve my heart in alcohol
Cloud my mind and eyes in smoke and doubt
Piece by piece, I'll fall to peace
From madness grows the seed of freedom