You were my try at a less than literal suicide,  a metaphorical mutilation of self, an imaginary imprisonment in someone else's hell.

Dramatic with a knack for it
And quite a skillfull addict
The best you will ever see
In the worst sides of me
A paradoxical disease
I feed on lacking what I need
Always high and on the street
But if you need one count on me
Because I know what it means to have nothing to believe and I've seen people do things that make me wanna scream, but you better believe that if I would ever dream of doing someonebody else that way, I'd be so ashamed that when I find myself awake I'd pull down the shades and put a bullet through my brain

I'm sitting home alone trying to reach death through the phone, he answers and says he's got someone on the other line, and he asks if he can call me back in five, I say ok hang up and go out for a drive, because I know he won't call me back, I've tried this at least a hundred times.

I can smell
the soft floral remanence
of blue hyacinths in bloom.
The smell lingers everywhere.
It reminds me of you.
How you always smelled
so sweet,
like you'd just had a bath
with fresh lavender,
and rose petals swimming
all around you,
gathering at your feet.
I miss that smell,
almost as much as I miss you.
It's been a long time
since I've thought about you.
I've pushed you from my mind,
from my scarred up heart.
It's better that way,
keeping those memories
locked up inside me.
It took a long time
to stitch together
the pieces,
after you so carelessly
ripped my heart apart.
I'll always resent you for that.
I'll always love you for it too,
and whenever those hyacinths
are in full bloom
outside my window
I'll think of you,
of how much I loved you,
and for just a moment
I'll feel a touch
of the hyacinth blues.

A million conversations all in my head
A million chances to be better off dead
Yet every time I've chosen the safety of silence instead

They say they know what you want, but I know what you need. They want to steal your heart,  and I bet they'll make you bleed. You don't have to stay, and if you choose to leave with me,  I'll give you everything, and I'll never leave your side. You will be my queen, and you will pay no price, because all my love is free, and it will last for your whole life.

There are a limitless number of ways to escape when you're walking towards oncoming cars on a busy interstate