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I am afraid to be near you.
 Dec 2017 A H Butler
Lexi
His hands on my hips as he says he can pick me up and I look at him in disbelief but my eyes are daring him to try.
His arms wrapped around me in a playful choke hold as I, a giggling mess, try to get away.
His lips soft but fierce, are smiling  against my neck as I squeal and roll away from him and manage not to fall off the bed.
His voice as he speaks and laughs and sometimes giggles is what makes me smile on the inside.
His heart is trying to trust me but is unsure. His actions are very clear but he is guarded. If I didn't know him I'd think he was playing me but he is trying.

Therefore, I am not giving up.
If I am understanding everything we are doing wrong then there is no coming back from this. I was broken waiting for him. I was shattered when he had a girlfriend now he doesn't and somehow my stubborn and naive heart pulled the pieces back together but one more drop and it will be dust.
 Dec 2017 A H Butler
Abbigail
roots
 Dec 2017 A H Butler
Abbigail
"as broken as I am, I just need someone to put me back together."
no.
put yourself back together,
you'll never be broken again.
Some nights I prefer reading a book,
indulging myself in a nonexistent world,
rather, a nonexistent universe
where you and i were never cursed

Some nights I prefer solitude,
in the comfort of my home,
with nothing but a glass of wine
and you, running on my mind

Some nights there I lay,
on the cold ground,
trying to mend myself though I know
you're the only one that could

Some nights I wish
that there are no more wishes
nor prayers I could pray
just so you would stay.

some nights.
I knock it out of the ballpark
by expressing myself with
just a few words.

I write poetry to show my emotions
that I have trouble expressing
through my actions.

I am autistic and my brain is wired differently than yours.
Emotions are like the ocean,
my tides might rise higher than yours.

I have learned how to ride the waves,
like a pro I surf as I ride with pride.

I am a poet not by choice but
by chance because I am an autistic poet and emotions are my tool.

**© 2017 By Amanda Shelton
Carpet lawn of frosty glaze
Blanketing the greener daze
Fog smog layer fumes to sky
Chill flows in and out
Hello!
Goodbye..
Quiet are the pastures and peaking mount
Rest and retreat...
..on the mind
To keep the warmth held deep inside
Holding on to promises of spring
For now shall embrace
Dusty sprinkled
icing
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