Imagine after your death,

beside all the dark voids and emptiness,

imagine you meet the creator, God

and he asks you " How was heaven"

Sitting their in astonishment realizing
that heaven is a place on earth
that you chose to turn it into hell

I have not slept in a while
I just am not at peace

I cant go to sleep
I cant close my eyes knowing
you are hurt
you are unsure
unsure of my love for you

you're as delicate as glass
and my *******
dropped you

I looked at my best friend
I told him
Don't you ever lose the love of your life.  

I looked at my best friend
Dead in his eyes
While a bitter tear ran down from
my eyes to my cheeks to my lips
and told him
Don't you ******* break the heart
that beats more for you than it does for herself
Don't you lose the love of your life.

you'll regret it
you'll wish you got run over
or that a bullet pieces your forehead
you'll wish that the moon would just fall on you.

Every beautiful memory you had with her
will be played in your head
on a loop
over and over
until you feel nothing
until your numb.

Then you'll start living in the past
you'll keep wanting it more and more
you'll be depressed.

you'll start thinking of other people entering her life
you'll wonder which guy will occupy the space
in that heart that was yours
any guy
another guy
a new guy
a guy
that isn't you.

then you wont know what do to
all the ******* will just clash in your mind
and you'll just sit there
Numb
Depressed
Broken
Anxious

the next you know
you'll tie a noose around your head
taking your own life

Then you'll meet the angel
that tore herself to bits
watching you do this to yourself

She is your angel
She is the love of your life

Don't ******* lose her

Rather be broken than be whole
Rather be sensitive and full of emotion
Not worried about my pride
Not worried about my dignity
All I care about is my soul
my heart
my spirit

I love writing
I love chess
I love being positive  
I love people
I love life
I love music
Most importantly
I love love

I love the way people fall head over heels for each other
I love the idea of hugging and squeezing
being so close yet never feeling close enough

It amazes me the way we change our routine and lifestyle
the way we adopt new hobbies
all these just to be noticed

I love how love can take a broken hopeless person
and make them whole again

I love how we blindly and stupidly follow certain people
Dance along to their songs
Sing along with their lyrics
Synchronize our heartbeats to theirs

I love how everything would remind us of them
How every love song reminds us of the extra miles we would go for them
How a beautiful orange red sunset would remind us
of the beautiful canvas that we painted for them with our blood
just for some attention
just for some affection  

most of the time all will go unnoticed  
and that is fine
we'll just be broken
and ready to be loved
and healed
by someone
who truly
deserves us