At twenty years old
I feel like I have lived more lives
Then anyone should ever be permitted too.
In my dreams you’re always waking me up to tell me it wasn’t real.
We sat there inside that dark room
And I remember pleading with the darkness,
Begging him to make me disappear.
He refused of course.
You were similar that way.
The couch felt like it was burning into me,
But maybe it was your eyes.
I wanted to cover myself in everything you wanted,
But that meant not being covered at all.
The moon seemed to watch with disproval
And I wanted to erase the stars from the sky
Because I felt like we didn’t deserve
To be in the presence of something
You told me that you loved me
And I felt like I hated myself.
Lips stuck between your teeth
So I couldn’t tell you no.
Your fingers burned holes into my skin
And I can’t seem to fill them with anything
Other than you.
And he loved me
into hating myself.
but at least he loved me...
You were so far away,
The moon could've touched you
Before I did.
And I think we were meant to be,
In every life
But this one.
And I often think
Love would've been ashamed
Of what we'd labeled it.