We are going to bomb them so that they will stop the rocket fire
Says the memshellah: prime minister, in 2014
Funny how that seems like a transparency
Of what the memshellah said in 2004, 2003...
Sounds something like what was being said
On the bus to the University of Haifa
Radio Turned up by the Bus Driver:
mmm--eeem, mmm-eeem, mmmm-eeem
Which must have meant: we have bombed them
and now the violence will stop
Do we have the memories of a fruit fly?
Every twenty four hours, a new death, a new day
Begins and the same thing is done
An endless repeat of a survival
with no wisdom, no intelligence
Pilgrims on their knees, travel to the church
in Mexico
Like pilgrims and tourists, gawk at the treasures of
Jerusalem: to be near God
God has wisdom
So what does God have to say?
Looking down, the next bomb drops
And for awhile, after the blood spatter and tears,
Or maybe after the explosion and the body meat
is picked up and put in plastic bags
And it begins anew
What can God say, to make it stop?
Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 3:29 PM UTC
he or she will do this: the child meltdown crazy act
in an adult
and I will blanche into an affectless emotionless marble slab
deflector shields up, they can't hurt me
the dysfunction energy will well up surround me
rush over me like a tornado flows over a house
as I hide in the basement
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 5:58 PM UTC
"You incite it" she said
Me? The quivering victim
pain radiating out of severed nerve endings
***** said it, and ***** targets me
"You think it means something"
Of course it does...after all...but wait
"She's not your mother. He's not your mother."
Mother, destroyed me. Can't criticize her. Hurts her too much.
She lashes out. I fall. I must disintegrate into a writhing mass
Crying, water evaporating out of my eyes to drain the life from me
Destroyed, she stands over me, gives me a hand up. All is good.
It doesn't mean anything. It's just a crazy person. I react like
something has been found out
That this craziness has merit to it and should be considered instead of just
let pass like a ball aimed at me that misses it's intended target.
Not worth the effort
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 4:41 PM UTC
Anxiety is at the heart of all that ails me
like my best friend ever, it has always been with me
So familiar, my anchor in the dark
I return to it endlessly to remind me that this is just like the rest
This new thing, this new test
is just the familiar torture you've known all your life
By my side, it destroys my mind, and I can't stop
this addiction, will always be with me,
The lies it tells me, that this turbo spinning depleting energy keeps me safe
That the constant tension that translates into fear and self hate
Is as it should, as it was set up for me
And blocks me, just when I want most to be free and easy
Letting go of my best friend, so scary, and feels so light
and beautiful, like the afternoon sun in a quiet garden
where everything is colorful and peaceful and the air is fresh and warm
and there is the smell of water from a hose...slightly rusty with an aromatic humidity
and little birds flutter about, and a sound of a buzzing insect appears occasionally
All is well, and from here I can do anything
but I catch myself: I am not safe without my best friend
and the ax falls down into the scene and it is now night and I am hungry and cold
and unwelcome and stalked and frightened, as it should be.
Anxiety is my enemy
It keeps me from this delight in life
and I can go on: and when I meet it again
I shouldn't welcome it in like a friend, but finally
be honest about it and say: go away
You have no use anymore in my life
You served me at one time, but that time is over
and you must evaporate
and I must face the fear alone, without you
You stay back, and I go forward, with courage.
Jan 22, 2014
Jan 22, 2014 at 12:03 PM UTC
Anxiety is at the heart of all that ails me
like my best friend ever, it has always been with me
So familiar, my anchor in the dark
I return to it endlessly to remind me that this is just like the rest
This new thing, this new test
is just the familiar torture you've known all your life
By my side, it destroys my mind, and I can't stop
this addiction, will always be with me, I think
The lies it tells me, that this turbo spinning depleting energy keeps me safe
That the constant tension that translates into fear and self hate
Is as it should, as it was set up for me
And blocks me, just when I want most to be free and easy
Letting go of my best friend, so scary, and feels so light
and beautiful, like the afternoon sun in a quiet garden
where everything is colorful and peaceful and the air is fresh
and there is the smell of water from a hose...slightly rusty with an aromatic humidity
All is well, and from here I can do anything
but I catch myself: I am not safe without my best friend
and the ax falls down into the scene and it is now night and I am hungry and cold
and unwelcome and stalked and frightened, as it should be.
So anxiety is my enemy
It keeps me from this delight in life from feeling all is right
and I can go on: and when I meet it again
I shouldn't welcome it in like a friend, but finally
be honest about it and say: go away
You have no use anymore in my life
You served me at one time, but that time is over
and you must evaporate
and I must face the fear alone, without you
You stay back, and I go forward, with courage.
Jan 22, 2014
Jan 22, 2014 at 12:02 PM UTC
I went and saw and lost myself and never thought it would happen to me
like a car accident with fire trucks and ambulances and police
and stretchers and pour souls waiting
that will never happen to me
Until down into the abyss I go and time seems to slow
and I surf without getting wet
pathetic just like the rest
An addiction nevertheless that freezes thought in an instant
and replaces them with endless searching for meaning and fragile connection
Circling around, look here, no direction, life on hold and desperate without risk
spinning out of control on the internet.
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 12:15 PM UTC
like my mind is filled with ideas
my material world is boxed in by things
over capacity knowledge stores on paper pads
and journals by the pound
around me they surround
time capsules prepared industriously on the daily by me
notes and books and handouts and work outs, all strewn about
my mind externally, representing fragment thoughts ideas left whole
thoughts pursued and cast aside and fleshed out to live a life of their own
Ordinary mortals see a cluttered desk, books and papers spilling over this
But it's a furnace of the imagination, taking shape, each item a puzzle piece to be
put together, and torn apart and worked on through the night until it's just right.
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 12:09 PM UTC
Saturday morning
Bedroom with sun shining through my green diaphanous curtain
My cats have carved out little holes where sun strikes through, unfiltered
and a rhythmic sound from above
Someone is getting frisky
and has a squeaky bed
And the natural cycle spins on, faster, faster
more intense and finally gone in silence
It's better than violence
but still TMI
Jan 20, 2014
Jan 20, 2014 at 11:13 PM UTC
I've been told, I live in the past
I am aghast.
Always looking that way,
just live in today
it's so easy you see
not for me
I give up hope
Just do, throw down the anchor on a rope
and just sit
Such a perfect view on the way it was
and only because it was this way
have I a problem now
In a boat, on a sunny day, on a lake
I sit, am rocked by a wake
of a passing cruiser
Around me is a moat made by me
you can't really see it, it's not real
I can see out
but not touch anything,
and I doubt
I will ever move again,
reach for the rope!
pull the anchor up!
put my chin up!
stiff upper lip!
What have we? quick! man the oars!
Plug the drain!
onward mates, haven't got all day!
I lift my eyes and ponder the horizon
balanced on the moving water
shrouded by fog,
is my future
I look at it, still floating like a log...it's all I can do
Jan 19, 2014
Jan 19, 2014 at 11:37 PM UTC
What comes next?
A fusion with brain and internet? *** text.
descriptions of positions and inhibitions undone
crawling down the screen,
like morse code across the sea
or an old computer reading cards, blurting out silent sentences
passing lights on the screen,
then gone
or the News crawl passing on the bottom of the TV
without the repeats
all in our imaginations
the touches, movements, even some sensations
the connection of two biologies
two living breathing human beings,
much more complicated than simple machines
But this is the computer,
the technology star
that brought us fame and power and wealth
Now seems a bit in ill health.
A downward spiral,
like a old rock star, playing at a seedy corner bar:
the technology that sent a man to the moon
and fought the Soviets until their doom
the frightening technology
of my childhood years,
big computers creating bigger fears
and now being put to good use
as I have my fellow in a metaphorical noose
our fingers go across the keys
and send signals to each other's bodies
connected in imagination with mine
and it's frightening how it works to well
Almost like reality, I can barely tell
but then it's over and in the after glow
A thought taps me on the shoulder, tells me I should know
that in the end the bond with the human being
has evaporated like silent steam,
Not because we're mean
But because he's not there
but now I'm aware
of a peculiar new bond with my phone
Jan 2, 2014
Jan 2, 2014 at 1:38 AM UTC