I would give anything to tell this little girl with those red curls that she was beautiful, cause she couldn't see it herself. I would erase thoughts that shouldn't be there, hug her when no one else would and dry all the tears that kept rolling down her cheeks. I would tell her that she shouldn't be so hard on herself, whatever is hurting her right now won't be here forever. I would reassure her that not being normal will be something she's glad about in the future. I would tell her that I'm proud she's holding on, and still not giving up. Shes got a little fighter heart.
I would thank her for being stronger than what was causing her so much pain. Maybe this little girl just needed someone to tell her that whatever she's doing it, would be good enough. Always trying to do better and better made her question if she could ever meet her high expectations. And when she couldn't the disappointment ate her alive. I'm not ashamed of how I tried to handle a situation that I clearly couldn't deal with on my own. I wish I could have helped myself earlier so now I wouldn't have to worry about what people thought of my ugly scares. I wish I could have saved the girl, so she didn't have to spend her teenage years in her room trying to **** her sadness. But I'm thankful that she was stronger than this and decided to live.
Jun 7, 2020
Jun 7, 2020 at 4:31 PM UTC
The way our fingers intertwine
I could be yours, you could be mine
The way you hold me, tight and warm
Outside there’s a raging storm
The way you look at me
In your arms is where i wanna be
The way our bodies fit, yeah
I just can’t help it
I keep on dreaming this dream
living this fantasy, you and me
the look in your eyes
I see the truth behind your lies
With you everything feels so right
I know what i see
I know what i feel
yours is all i wanna be
In your room, night is dark
you pull me close
from fingers to my toes
oh, can’t you feel it?
I know what i see
I know what i feel
yours is all i wanna be
We could dream this dream together
live our fantasy, you and me
look into my eyes
can you see the truth behind my lies
your my angel in disguise
The way our fingers intertwine
I could be yours, you could be mine
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020 at 3:15 AM UTC
All these feelings overwhelming me
Like waves pulling me back to sea
Where hope is slowly leaving me
Maybe that‘s where I should be
Ive been feeling like no matter what I do
It will get better! Sounds so easy from you
Every day feels like a battle where I can‘t win
Because I hate the skin that I live in
I‘m holding on but it‘s more than I can carry
Turn into this angry and sad thing, its scary
Wish someone would help me out
But no one cares, without a doubt
As my thoughts keep consuming my head
I realize I‘ve become my very own thread
So maybe one day I can put an end to this
That‘s one of the things I wouldn‘t miss
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020 at 2:47 AM UTC
What can you do about a hearts’ desire
oh, yes we’re playing, playing with fire
But only your love is taking me higher
As much as I can recall
We could have had it all, oh
Don’t worry I’m taking the fall for all
You pulled me up
Watched me fall
Was it love after all?
Been my enemy
Been my knight
Can’t we stop this fight?
We’re battered and bruised
I’m just so **** confused
oh, how could it get this far
Now we’re both leaving with a scar
I never meant to hurt you
after everything we’ve been through
I’ve tried to make you stay
oh, In every kind of way
You pulled me up
Watched me fall
Was it love after all?
Been my enemy
Been my knight
Why can’t we stop this fight?
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 4:23 PM UTC
Why does it feel so real
Why can't I heal
if it's all in my head
Why does it keep me awake
Why can't I seem to escape
if it's all in my head
Why can't I be free
Why do I let it **** me
if its all in my head
After all the tears I've shed
And the blood I've bled
Sure to say
It's not just all in my head
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 4:20 PM UTC
Winterbreeze rippling through my clothes
Loud music in my ears
Cold hands, warm heart
I am falling apart
Streetlamps guiding my way
No place where I could stay
Every turn I take
With every step I break
Tears filling my eyes
Guess thats what they mean with paying the price
I never meant to hurt you
Didn't know what else I could do
Just let me walk in silence
Build my fence
Be tough, be brave
that's what I told myself
The night is swallowing me
With all its darkness and beauty
Take me with you
Isn't that what lovers do?
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 2:07 PM UTC
Here I am sitting in the dark
feelings overwhelming me
listening to the noise of the night
slowly falling apart
No one can hear
No one cares to listen
to the things I'm afraid to say
So much pain
tears falling down my face
told myself to hold on
it will get better they say
No one can feel
No one cares to touch
all the scars that are hurting
So here I am struggeling
World weighting on my shoulders
listening to my silent cry
words caught up in my throat
No one can see
No one cares to open their eyes
to all the sadness behind my smile
So much pain
tears falling down my face
told myself to hold on
it will get better they say
But will it really??
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 2:05 PM UTC
How can I love myself
When I keep breaking my own heart
How can I move on
When I fall right back down
Running to hide away
No strength left to stay
I've got a long way ahead
But want to give up instead
How can I love myself
When there's nothing to like
How can I move on
When it's all I've ever known
Arriving in an empty space
Tears running down my face
Walked away to end up here
It all confirmed my fear
How can I love myself
After all this pain
How can I move on
When I've got nothing to gain
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 1:55 PM UTC
Tears rolling down my face
Walking through a dreadful place
Held on for far too long
But used to be so strong
At night out of everyones sight
Waiting for when the time's right
The demons would make me feel
like the wounds could never heal
Convince myself with smiling
even my insides are dying
As I keep on burning
I feel the tables turning
You might see hope
Don't see with what I cope
Told you there's no other way
Wouldn't listen to what I say
Told myself this lie all years
While confronting all my fears
Never saw a day get brighter
But made me more of a fighter
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 1:53 PM UTC
I've been hiding it all perfectly well
in me there is this burning hell
Though tears might fall and you'll hear me weep
You'll never know what going on in the deep
I might laugh and sing along
pretend I'm fine when I'm not
Fighting everyday to be strong
Tried to give everything that I've got
As I'm barely holding on they
tell me to keep up the brave fights
though they never seem to notice
How I'm dreading the lonely nights
And no one seems to care
As I slowly fall apart
While darkness consumes me
I let it break my heart
Day after day drifting away
Slowly killing all good I knew
I give in, let it have my soul too
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 1:45 PM UTC