I come here not to fight,
but rather to lay down my weapons.
I come here not to prove
to you
or to anyone
my worth as a woman.
After many years of picking fights with myself,
I now know my worth
like the back of my
hand.
Instead I come here
to make a public apology
an apology to me.
Dear woman, I am sorry
that I ever believed the lie
that you are not ‘equal’
not just to a man
but to anyone else on this level ground
I am sorry that I have sold you short
to a system that has tried
to silence you
I am sorry that I have second guessed your better judgement
Your innate intuition
Your profound ability to
FEEL the world around you
I am sorry that I have fought too hard
to lay aside your femininity
that is your strength
in order to appear “equal”
Equality is not found in
position or right.
Dear woman. You ARE equal.
I’m sorry I have not believed in you enough
So that you ever thought for one moment
that strength is in position
or weight
or muscle
I am sorry for being ashamed
of your ******* and your curves
or for selling your body to a belief
that your worth is contained inside your hips
and your lips
I am sorry for bending your spine
to be swayed by
the words of another
I am sorry for making you say “submission” like a bad taste in your mouth
without understanding its place, and its power
I’m sorry for allowing you to interpret the world
through your womanly insecurities.
I choose today not to blame,
not to point these fingers
at anyone, to say “you did this to me”,
I choose today to help myself stand
comfortably in my skin.
I choose today to love myself,
feed myself,
clothe myself
and wash myself
in the belief that
I can,
and I will.
I don’t need any mans or any ones permission
I don’t need the right
I don’t need an approving stamp.
I am a woman
and that is enough.
©2014ZoeRayTuckey
Mar 17, 2014
Mar 17, 2014 at 11:26 AM UTC
Have the *****
the SPIRIT
the SPINAL BONES stacked strong and straight
Have the GUMPTION
the STRENGTH
Have the JAW to take a knock for honesty
Have the FREEDOM
for goodness sake
Don’t tell me what you should
tell me something REAL
Say what I know you’re thinking,
Say it LOUD
Be proud of your thought
think for yourself
Throw a curveball of integrity
into the conversation
leading to apathy
Say it with your EYES
as well as your lips
Don’t just mouth the words
like some mechanical clone
People need to push up against your SOUND
Rub lies up the wrong way
stop saying what is safe
Try to match untruth
WORD for WORD
with the straight, black, hard line
that runs right through people’s shifting eyes
Be UNCOMFORTABLE
UNCOMPROMISING
Speak your words like a gift to heads starved
for RIGHT
Speak up man
Speak up to the man
Let your speech slam against the grain
don’t be a fool swimming with the tide
give people the PEARLS of your mind
Don’t ever be blinded
for the sake of a world
without a spine
Say the words
that have been buried deep
under a pile of correctness
and say them
NOW.
© 2012 Zoe Tuckey
Jul 23, 2012
Jul 23, 2012 at 7:21 AM UTC
Let’s catch for us some puppets
Let them get caught between our rubbing hands
Let us collect them at their
lowest point
attach some strings
at their weakest joints
let us show them we care
Let them think that we love
Then let us rain
some money over their heads
and put them under burning lights
then let us fight
over the weakest
the most pliable
the ones with the least sense of worth
the ones with the most dirt in their past
Then let us surgically remove their backbones
and their minds
let us disguise their strengths
and clothe them in some new attire
then finally when they’re ready
let us escort them
into our fire
© 2011 Zoe Ray Johnson
Mar 2, 2012
Mar 2, 2012 at 7:36 AM UTC
That’s what I need.
Something soft and white, no colour at all, to lie on,
Something hot to slide down my throat.
A fluffy pillow
A breeze through my window.
A tree to look at outside, slowly swaying.
A hug that lasts for hours,
and hours,
and hours.
Mar 2, 2012
Mar 2, 2012 at 7:33 AM UTC
Sometimes I’d like to buy a box
a metal one
and put myself in it
Air tight and self sufficient
with a tiny peep-hole on the side
Sometimes I’d like to close my eyes
Pretend like I’m floating on the outside
of life
Pretend that no one can see my eyes
and interpret my uncertain smile
Sometimes I wish I could curl up tight
in the quiet of my mind
and wrap up all the loose ends
on the outside
turn off the messy
the cautious
the lies
Sometimes I wish I could get inside
one of the books I read at night
turn off the questions
and turn off the light
sometimes I am the wall
I hide behind
Sometimes I want to shut you out
for fear I will hurt you
or hurt myself
But most of all
I wish we’d just know
that we’re fine
that we’re loved
that we’re not letting go
© 2011 Zoe Ray Johnson
Dec 1, 2011
Dec 1, 2011 at 1:59 AM UTC
is the small girl
with puffy eyes
hiding under my ribs
and inside the layers of my mind
Dec 1, 2011
Dec 1, 2011 at 1:55 AM UTC
After thoughts and tears and sun have stained my past
After all that has been said lies across the tepid water
After mist and smog have done their duty
and truth settles and lies part
I know nothing
But I know love
After hurt tears into my veins
and pain rushes to my vital organs,
when I can’t breathe or see for the watery pool
that has become my sight
When I’m lost beyond finding,
cursed beyond blessing
When I’m treacherously failing
in every area of my life
I know nothing,
But I know love
When friendships become the sour lemons that I eat
When my stomach burns and turns with loss
When I can’t retrieve what I have thrown,
When I can’t salvage what I have lustily spent
When I can not forgive or be forgiven enough
I know nothing
But I know love
After evil word and evil deed
have spread their net and caught up my heart
After I sink beneath the waves of self pity
and get dashed on rocks of anger,
When I finally loosen the chords that so easily entangle
and set my gaze above
I know nothing
But I know
Love
© 2010 Zoe Ray Johnson
Nov 29, 2011
Nov 29, 2011 at 11:05 AM UTC
Resolve is plastered
underneath my skin
coated with
lay ers
to keep it in
Sha llow
thoughts fizzzzle
like nerve ends
never
reaching
conclusion
Live wires
inside my mind
faintly touch the tip of my
tongue
then snap back
without result
without
explanation
without
resolution
This waiting game
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
l.eaves me
.
a..nswer less
.
t.h.ought less
.
m.ind less
..
Nov 27, 2011
Nov 27, 2011 at 1:24 PM UTC
I don’t know if I can ever love you enough
Because my love is tainted
layered and smothered
by the eyes
the heart and mind
the soil
of a land that I love
more than myself
I am a creation
of her
I am a puppet
of her
I am a preacher
of her
The words on my tongue
are the alphabet of her
the only language I have known
The sore in my back
is the hurt of her
The pain in my eyes
is the sight of her
So deeply engraved is my heart
in her land
that I would give you up
I would settle it once and for all
I would lay down my rights
to your comfort
your friendship
I would cover the void
that you leave if I leave you
with the tears of her children
the dirt of her ground
the songs of her heart
I would cover the nameless
faceless whiteness of the void
with India
(c) Zoe Johnson 2010
Nov 27, 2011
Nov 27, 2011 at 11:43 AM UTC
Bow down right where you are
on your knees
Oh I’ve gotten to the bottom of you
and it’s a cold hard place
but your lies are old
and I’ve learned them
old ugly dog
old tricks
No longer will I fall
into your eager clutches
and no longer will I be stolen from
I’ll twist your wrists like you’ve twisted mine
Where you’ve tried to steal the Truth,
I will steal your empty eyes
Thief
Spluttering whispers you have spoken
just when Truth is on my tongue
Just when I find my voice again
You’ve taken the fragments of my imagination
and stolen my worth
You’ve put your pointed fingers
into my questions
and mangled the answers
before they’re birthed
But no longer will you steal
what is rightfully mine
My child
put in my womb
the birth of my dreams
the birth of my desires
Look at me Thief,
if you dare look into my eyes
See this child Thief?
This child
Is mine
©Zoe Johnson 2011
Nov 10, 2011
Nov 10, 2011 at 12:22 AM UTC