I used to think the mirror lied
that maybe all the praise was noise,
all the sharpness in my smile
just armor for a frightened voice.
But then I watched the room bend toward me—
eyes orbiting like desperate moons,
every laugh waiting for my permission,
every silence begging for my ruin.
And I understood.
Not with guilt,
not with horror,
but with relief.
They call it narcissism
like it’s a sickness,
a cracked thing,
a flaw stitched underneath the skin.
But I have never felt more whole.
I like the hunger in my chest,
the way ambition tastes metallic on my tongue.
I like knowing confidence can sound like a threat
when spoken by the right person.
Maybe I am cruel.
Maybe I enjoy winning too much,
enjoy watching people shrink
while I become something untouchable.
But evil is just a word
people use for someone
who stopped apologizing
for taking up space.
Now I know what I am—
a fire that finally learned
it was never meant to keep others warm.
And honestly,
there’s comfort in that.
Because once you stop fearing
what darkness lives inside you,
there’s suddenly nothing left
that can hold you back.
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 10:13 AM UTC
you were sunlight at first
warm
impossible to ignore
everything felt brighter
when you were around
you told stories
like you were the center of gravity
and i believed you
because it felt good
to orbit something so certain
i started shrinking without noticing
just a little at a time
your problems filled the room
mine stayed folded in my pocket
when i spoke
you redirected
when i hurt
you compared
it was never cruel enough
to leave
just heavy enough
to stay
i learned your patterns
like weather
praise meant calm
criticism meant storm
and i kept trying
to be the version of myself
that made the sky clear
until one day
i realized
i hadn’t felt like a person
in a long time
just a reflection
standing next to you
Apr 2
Apr 2, 2026 at 3:36 PM UTC
there’s a mirror in my head
and it never turns off
every thought bends back toward me
like light trapped in a closed room
i measure my worth
in reactions
in attention
in the way people look at me
when they think i’m not looking
but i am always looking
there’s a hunger
that doesn’t feel like hunger
more like a constant almost
like something is missing
just out of reach
i build myself taller
in stories
in exaggerations
in the way i replay conversations
and rewrite them so i win
but when it’s quiet
when no one is there
when there’s nothing to reflect
i feel small
like i might disappear
if no one is watching
and i don’t know
if i want to be seen
or if i’m just afraid
of what’s left
when i’m not
Apr 2
Apr 2, 2026 at 3:34 PM UTC
Step one:
Begin with the quiet understanding
that you are exceptional.
Not in a loud way, that would be tacky,
but in the way gravity assumes the earth revolves around it.
Step two:
Practice listening
not to hear, of course,
but to reload.
Nod occasionally,
tilt your head just enough to seem humane
then redirect every story back to yourself
as naturally as rivers return to the sea
Step three:
Develop a delicate allergy to criticism.
Even the softest suggestion
should feel like an insult wrapped in incompetence.
So respond accordingly:
With a smile sharpened at the edges
and a correction no one asked for.
Step four:
Curate your reflection.
Mirrors are useful,
but people are better.
Surround yourself with those who applaud on cue
and call it “connection”
when it is really just good lighting.
Step five:
Learn the art of empathy.
Not the feeling, don’t be ridiculous,
but the imitation.
Say things like “that must be hard”
while calculating how their hardship
might be used as a stepping stone.
Step six:
Rewrite history often.
You are always the hero,
or the victim,
whichever earns more attention.
Facts are flexible.
Memory is a tool, not a record.
Step seven:
Mistakes do not belong to you.
They hover nearby,
waiting for someone less important to claim them.
Assign blame generously
like a philanthropist of fault.
Step eight:
Measure your worth in reflections
in glances,
in admiration half-spoken.
If the room is not watching you,
the room is wrong.
Step nine:
Keep your heart at a safe distance.
Close enough to reference,
far enough to avoid inconvenience.
Vulnerability is inefficient
and efficiency is everything.
Step ten:
Finally, believe none of this is about you.
Call it confidence.
Call it self-respect.
Call it anything but what it is.
And if, at any point,
you feel a flicker of doubt
quickly, now
return to step one.
After all,
you wouldn’t want to become
ordinary.
Apr 2
Apr 2, 2026 at 3:31 PM UTC
No, I couldn't be
How could you even suggest such a thing?
It's not my fault, it never has been
And it never will be
Because I am not a Narcissist
Your slander will never reach my high horse
I go to fast for you,
It's not my fault you're weak.
Can't you handle such truths?
See, I can, because I know that I'm not a Narcissist.
Why would someone need empathy?
Why should I want these inferior emotions
to hold me back?
I've left them behind and it's made me greater.
You could learn a thing or two.
Apr 2
Apr 2, 2026 at 12:17 PM UTC