church in my backyard
every ******* sunday those bells woke me up
consume the minds of over half the worlds population
***** their knees for you
become vulnerable
easier target to kick in the stomach
i'll leave you bleeding in the confession booth
and your last words will still be "help me God"
Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014 at 12:24 AM UTC
1. You love me with closed eyes in a lit room; you love me with open eyes in a dark room
2. Your veins are the stems of plants, I have yet to see the green phenomena that blossoms from it
3.You touch me like I am lighter fluid and you are a lit match
4. Like flowers that stab the ground,you make life beautiful in the most painful way
5.i love you so much and I think my ceiling is growing weary of me saying it in my sleep
6.I miss you like a Chernobyl swing set misses children
May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014 at 1:32 AM UTC
Maybe I focus too much on what your skin feels like against mine and maybe
the stem of a rose does too
my thorns have never been overlooked.
I imagine your hugs that constrict me will
Not only take my breath away but eventually my life
me feeling like a city at night
that wears streetlights like it's
Most expensive jacket,
I'm only trying to impress you with.
I may spend too much time thinking about what your lips look like
but I bet you have your mother's eyes,
And your fathers hands
And even when it is tainted red from all the holes you've ****** into your wall
It always matched with the pink in the sky right before a storm
I've always admired nature taking itself back
And you letting it
Apr 11, 2014
Apr 11, 2014 at 5:56 PM UTC
Build me with frostbite covering my heart, build me with a snowflake constantly falling from the roof of my mouth, build him with a yearning for cold weather. Let every person I miss for the next 20 years forget to return the favor.
I want to stick a panic room underneath the chalices in my palms so they aren't so timid once I hear you talk about wearing Sunday clothes when you had your first beer.
build me with gunslinger fingertips that touch and touch and touch and stay steady, build my footsteps with the sounds of a rainstorm knocking on the ground of an empty parking lot, build him out of prayers for a flood.
If I didn't bruise so easily, if I wasn't looking for a way to be made of a river, if I needed the silence to mean something, then I would ask you build me out of quiet kisses and vengeful goodbyes, I would need you to build me out of reasons to believe instead of reasons to be afraid, I would turn my kneecaps into strawberries in exchange for potter's hands so I could mold you a bulletproof spirit. I want to spend the rest of my life watching the clouds, I want to have a voice as steady an oak tree and I want to see the sun cry rays of light so hard that it beats the sky purple
Apr 11, 2014
Apr 11, 2014 at 5:55 PM UTC
Guilty is synonymous with self-condemnation
And confessions only come out at night
I'm sorry for gracing you with my tyrannical presence
It's not that I want to clip your wings but my arms are made of scissors and you are always reaching for a hug
I can't control what I speak or what I feel
I can love you
I can love you the wrong way
I can leave words your skin with my mouth
I can blister you without making you sit in the sun
I can replace the joints between your bones with styrofoam
I'm sorry for building you with weak material
Guilty is synonymous with self-condemnation
Maybe confessions only come out at night
In Alaska, there is sunlight during the evening for 6 months
Maybe this shows the truth can be exposed with sun filtered through blinds instead of stars
Maybe it takes two different types of light to expose to different types of truths
Maybe I've changed my mind
Maybe I can't make up my mind
Maybe I'm not good for you
I'm not good for myself
I'm not sure of anything
I'm sure of one thing
I love you
But not the right way
Apr 11, 2014
Apr 11, 2014 at 5:54 PM UTC
You say you are afraid of cold weather but Winter has been growing behind your eyelids, and this is another part of you that you can be ashamed of but I can love
You say you are afraid of small corners and tight spaces but your blood stained mattress says you have been crafting yourself into something that can
compress into my morning thoughts
And if I could, I would squeeze your smile into my glass before I started my day
You are afraid of walking into a pharmacy knowing that every painkiller and sleeping medication has your initials carved into it
And two palms pressed together are placed on the warning label
How many years have you been trying to find god in the bottom of them
When is the last time you asked yourself what you're made of or what I'm made of or what both of us combined creates
When is the last time you loved someone with your hands like dry dirt and a chest filled with weeds only a girl with a soft smile can replace with blooming flowers
When is the last time you filled your lungs with cheap wine promises that were never strong enough to keep you from falling down the steps but wise enough to tell you he's not going to take your keys or hold your hair back
When is the last time you didn't regret having the strength to swim upstream knowing the only thing waiting for you was another excuse to be wet and out of breath, you shouldn't have to wear an oxygen tank in order to love someone the right way
You do not see all the rays of light that flee from your spirit, or comprehend how leaving someone and loving someone can be fueled by the same spit of heat
But it will burn and it will be more than you can touch, so you will spend your life with a nightstand filled with band aids and burns on your fingertips and you'll never really know who you are but at least I will
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 11:49 PM UTC
When I had drank more shots than I had fingers I thought that the world was so simple,so capable of being figured out
I was riding a wave that rolled out of your alcohol ridden mouth in shades of blue-
Things like- I want to be a tree, I want to be every single thing that shakes so take me to the eye of the storm, where it begins but never ends,
Where the destruction outweighs the number of survivors; believe me when I say I deserve to be hurt
Of all the things that broke me I think you were my favorite
you say I love you and I hear you I hear you but I don't trust you and this is what breaks friendships and families and us
You ask me where I will live for the rest of my life
I could live in the light of LA I could live in the dark of Alaska I could live in my parents basement where there are closed blinds and carpets stained with mud you dragged in that I've never had the nerve to clean off
This is a drugged up prayer
This is my plea to the sun
Come back when it's warmer because I cannot stop once I've begun
And all these words are coming from the safe in my mind that have been unlocked by soft hands and warm eyes
I am not looking while I type this I am thinking of your knees and elbows and how they were always scarred
The first time I met you I swore to god I'd make you sigh now that's all I do
I joke about you leaving bruises on me then cry about it afterwards
I'm not sure what I want and I need to stop doing things that leave me weak keeled over and crying
I wrote that I was a wave, swallowing myself as a whole
Swallowing myself until this water is holy
My throat will never be dry
I'm not sure what this is
This is a preachers apology
Apr 3, 2014
Apr 3, 2014 at 10:40 PM UTC
This sounds more like an interview
and it would be quicker for me to tell you what I don't believe in
What you've robbed me of
Why did you only tell me everything that didn't sound like a warning label?
Why didn't the poison you were hiding underneath your tongue never sting my lips?
Habits and contradictions only appear at night
And the ocean in all it's royalty will turn it's back on you
It's not ready to touch you
It will return with time
Have you noticed what I've done
There's a difference between staring at the moon and letting it crawl out of your intestines
I've never seen the sun in your eyes
Apr 3, 2014
Apr 3, 2014 at 10:06 PM UTC
Blush when I compliment how well your fingers fit between mine
I'm allowing my shadow to write this for me
She sorts through all the dead skin that covers my heart,
She wants to turn all the white into a galaxy of things you don't understand yet
It will obtain a mixture of sermons that don't mix well with wine or metal
But it always matches with skin
I wonder if you always wore white because nothing shows of blood stains better
maybe it'll bring out the green in your eyes
And how whenever I glanced at you I felt a nostalgic recollection of unhappy family Christmas gatherings
I hope that when you discover the effect you're having on me you take advantage of it
And realize you are blooming
Not as a grocery-bought plant but as a red flower in a field of yellow dandelions
I'm here to tell you my declarations are white and hot but I dressed them in black for you to see more clearly.
I miss the ocean and how the current always ran against me
I'm slowly beginning to like my shadow
I'm slowly starting to understand the color of the blind
I want the waves to tug at my ankles once more in a plea to come closer
like the way I would tug at your arm when I wanted to go home
I want your saltwater to fill my cuts because you've made me clean since I met you
I know you sting scars and scabs because you want me to be pure
and I am eager to be held underwater
My heart that stumbles across my chest like a drunken man making his way from a local bar to his home,
Look at how you've made it tough
Look how it heals on its own now
I have always had a love like a dimly lit room
And you are always carrying the candle
Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014 at 4:04 AM UTC
How many nostalgic nights will I have to spend on a warped floor to realize you are to hollow to be filled
you make negligence feel like an oak door and my hands have become splinters
if you scream your apologies into satin finish long enough the creaks and groans of the door begin to sound like "sorry"
I hope you don't use coasters on your coffee table; the imprints your mug leave can translate to the ones you left on me
Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014 at 2:33 AM UTC