You should know,
She has the most amazing brown eyes.
Look into them as often as she will let you.
They look like the surface of another planet.
Swim deep in them.
Climb their mountains.
Explore their caverns.
If you look too long she gets uncomfortable.
I did it anyway.
Frequently.
I’ve read that
You won’t understand brown eyes until you fall in love with someone
Who has them.
I’m living proof that this is true.
Don’t play with her head.
It’s cruel and it will damage her more than you know.
Don’t forget to learn her.
It takes time and patience, and you will never be finished.
Don’t lay a harsh hand on her,
Or I will find you.
Don’t break her heart.
Because if you do, I’m afraid I might be too far away to pick up the pieces.
But most of all:
Show her love.
Show her more than I could.
Show her all that she deserves.
Lastly,
Even though I hate when my brain reminds me
You now sleep on my side of the bed,
I feel the need to thank you
For taking my place.
If she can’t live her best life with me,
I sure as hell hope she gets to do it alongside someone else.
Mar 19, 2017
Mar 19, 2017 at 9:49 PM UTC
we're laying in my bed
different from before
and once you turn out the light,
I go from 0 to 60 real fast.
why is it so much harder not to feel
when you're lost in the dark?
"Are you happy I came?" you say
with your back turned to me.
in an instant
I'm rocking
reaching
grasping
gasping for air.
and suddenly we're laying in the bottom of a boat
and we are sinking
because my tears are filling up the vessel.
but you turn
and you hold me
in a way you never have before.
my head to your chest,
the ultimate safety.
and your tears merge with mine
like some liquid bond
not strong enough to hold us together,
but too strong to ignore.
the returning of you is done in a haze.
you, a misty ghost by my side,
returned because you don't quite fit
like you did when I tried you on in the store.
but it's hard to let go
and I don't even want store credit
because you cannot be replaced.
when I come back
your hairs are stuck to my pillow
but I don't mind,
for it is a reminder you were really here
and it all truly happened.
all 3 years of it.
somehow in those hairs
a reminder of you I have held close before
but for such different reasons.
Jun 6, 2016
Jun 6, 2016 at 11:50 PM UTC
I have known real torture.
Not inflicted by weapons or machines;
Not a drop of blood drawn.
Real torture is when you tell me
From a thousand miles away
That your nose is in my hair
That your arms and legs are intertwined with mine
And that your lips press my shoulders in the dark.
But in turn
I have also known great happiness.
And fullness.
And warmth.
Because I have truly experienced you.
Oct 3, 2014
Oct 3, 2014 at 3:09 PM UTC
Dear stepmom,
You should know that I wanted to talk to you.
I had it all planned out in my head -
How I was going to ask about the baby's birthday
And try to start one of those things called conversations.
But instead we sat
And didn't breathe a single syllable to each other.
And how am I supposed to open up, when
I part my lips and nothing comes out?
When the words in my brain are trampled
By the thoughts that tell me I'm going to do it wrong?
A heaving anxiety governs my mind's playground.
There's a fence around it with high walls.
On some days
They are stronger than others.
I have trouble talking with a lot of people,
But you're a special case.
Dear stepmom,
You should know that I not only love you,
But I also like you.
Don't worry about winning me
Because you've already won.
You won years ago,
When you stuck around,
When you talked with me about Twilight
And when you never tried to parent,
Because you knew it wasn't your place.
Dear stepmom,
I have a strange sort of social anxiety
That creeps up when we're alone.
I cannot tell you why
Or how to fix it
But I'll try to try harder
Because I think
(Just maybe)
You have some too.
But until then,
We might sit and suffer
In a thick, murky silence
Every once in a while.
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
Kissing upside-down.
At first it seems like a fun idea.
(If spiderman can, we can, right?)
But ultimately, it's clumsy
And awkward.
They say opposites attract
But when my top lip
And your bottom lip
Try to match up together,
There's no denying,
It doesn't quite fit.
A crash-collision.
With him it was like kissing upside-down:
Cool for a while
But the top and bottom just don't match
Quite like they do right-side up,
And it lost its novelty at a steady pace.
Two different halves don't always make a whole.
Sometimes it's two of the same.
Kissing her is like kissing regular.
I don't mean regular-regular.
I mean over the moon,
Past the stars,
Around the universe and back again regular.
I mean running so fast you think your legs
Might fall out from under you
And you might learn to fly regular.
I mean spinning in circles
On an old tire swing
Until you reach that moment when you forget where you are
And feel the rotation of your organs
So you stop to watch the world swirl before you
Putting everything out of perspective regular.
As unique as 'normal' could possibly exist.
I guess
For me,
Him and her
Just didn't seem to fit
The same way
She and her
Does.
And I don't think I'll be kissing anyone
Upside-down again
For a while.
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 4:09 PM UTC
1. Kissing is not boring.
Something I had never known.
2. ***** are just ***** but you like mine because they're mine.
3. You are a camel.
You drink water in large and spread-out doses
Just like you drink in my affection
Stocking up on love because you're not sure when you'll get your next fix.
4. I'm happy to give and give so that you never forget how it feels.
5. You can never be too close to someone.
Eyes flitting back and forth
Fingers tracing
Bodies crushing in a stedfast attempt to defy the laws of physics
And melt into one.
6. Sing-alongs do not have to be on-key to be entertaining.
7. Kissing is not boring.
Something I had never known.
Never understood how one person could
Spend hours with another's lips.
8. You called me a *****
And
I might be good at something I'd never done before.
9. Secrets can be magical and torturous.
10. Hand-holding can become an addiction
And "too comfortable" an understatement.
11. Love is, in fact, blind to distance.
Terminals and metal detectors
Are water off Love's wings
And
Baggage claim can be an utterly thrilling place.
12. You don't know what loneliness is until someone leaves you
Exposed
In the middle of a bed made for two
For a bathroom break.
13. Kissing is not boring.
Something I had never known.
Never understood how one person could
Spend hours with another's lips
Tongue-tied in the dim light,
Until I had it all to myself;
Until you were there to prove it to me.
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 4:08 PM UTC
i do not wear my heart on my sleeve.
instead, i keep it locked up in a glass box
buried deep within me
X marks the spot
cross my heart
and hope to fly
stick a moonbeam in my eye
they say what doesn't **** you makes you stronger
and i think i believe that's true
but sometimes
there are moments
when it's just too much
too hard to resist the urge
to curl up from the outside-in
like a snail shell
a home within.
but eventually
my beautiful muse,
dress flowing in the wind,
comes to whisper in my ears
sweet echoes through my shell space
she whispers of a treasure map
drawn across her back-canvas by chilled fingertips
that only she can decode
(with my help)
X marks the spot
cross my heart
and hope to fly
eyes are for seeing
but when they're closed
they are for feeling
my muse, my muse
how do you do it?
shoot me straight up into space
so that i land
X marks the spot
in a little glass box
warm between your lined palms.
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 4:04 PM UTC
i'm kissing
lip-smacking
chomping away
at a memory of you
*i'm kissing
lip-smacking
chomping away
at a memory of you*
**i'm kissing
lip-smacking
chomping away
at a memory of you**
Jul 6, 2014
Jul 6, 2014 at 3:48 PM UTC