worth her weight in gold.
lucky lucky.
better dress her up nicely.
its coldness defeats her;
she crashes like a star.
great potential in her feet
how they weep and harden
how they tear the land apart.
the singer sees her as inspiration
not as a human, but as something
lesser than.
identify her as something wondrous.
but that would be lying.
identify her as something human.
but that would be lying, too.
see something that shines in her.
bend it. break it.
shift her into something
unrecognisable.
you will be happy soon.
Apr 27, 2015
Apr 27, 2015 at 8:17 AM UTC
i want away from the body.
i want out of the flesh.
how lovely it will be to know
that when i am separated,
i will not come back together.
i am not part of this vessel anymore.
i refuse the body my spirit.
i refuse the body my joy.
i refuse the body my willingness to live.
the organs are shutting down
and i won’t do anything about it.
the body is rotting
and i couldn’t care less.
my name has lost its meaning by now.
long ago did it fade away.
and did you know,
i let it go?
it was the only thing that made sense.
i needed something to run from.
Apr 7, 2015
Apr 7, 2015 at 11:01 PM UTC
and i remember asking him,
angus, love, do you have to throw stones?
why not flowers? why not cotton wool?
and he replied as such:
thomas, you keep walking under ladders.
you never throw that salt.
how do you expect me to react?
Apr 4, 2015
Apr 4, 2015 at 7:39 AM UTC
i love you like
the sea loves the land:
far too little,
much too late.
Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 5:17 AM UTC
found: parts of you that are unpretty.
broken ***** fingernails.
sticky substance, underside of wrist.
something broken, something blue.
found: god, in pieces.
trembling for the sweetness of it all.
trembling for herself.
found: your saviour, all black and blue.
all dust and wind.
all “everything i’ve ever dreamed of.”
material of matinees.
found: you, you, you.
your entirety, your serious.
something bitter and beautiful.
something like you.
Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 5:02 AM UTC
letter to myself:
are you still what i want you to be?
sift through names like dirt for gold.
shift through gods like a true sinner.
there’s nothing left for us to believe in.
letter to myself:
are you everything i ever dreamed of?
thought process of a child in pain.
everything an attack.
no trust. no trust. all love and fear.
letter to myself:
are you dead yet? why not?
Mar 27, 2015
Mar 27, 2015 at 3:55 AM UTC
i’m part human, part crime scene.
once you were finished with me, i was mincemeat.
something only fit for dogs.
i could **** you in your sleep for what you did to me.
god knows i’ve planned it out.
dear god, here’s how i would **** him:
a knife to the throat first, then
open up his chest and stuff a baby doll inside.
mercy is not for girls like me.
darling when you touched me it felt as easy as breathing
(while i was drowning)
i was a child who wanted to play at love.
you were a man who wanted to play at violence.
somehow, i thought we were the same.
did you ever love anyone else the same way you loved me;
all hands for taking and ribs for breaking?
or was i something special to you?
was i a fresh flower waiting to be dissected petal by petal?
she loves me. she loves me not.
she loves me.
i remember the stories you told me.
the songs you sang to me.
if i remember those, i will forget
the violent colours with which you painted me.
i remember you.
too much.
every man with black hair and blue eyes looks like you.
every girl with black eyes and blue lips looks like me.
take that mirror off the wall and show me my face.
pale as oleander. paler for remembering.
and remember something.
remember, i am not the child i once was.
remember, i am an adult now.
remember: i am no longer yours for the taking
i am no longer yours for the breaking.
Mar 27, 2015
Mar 27, 2015 at 3:39 AM UTC
sing a song for your lover
of honeyed milk and seabird cries.
say a prayer for your lover
and hope to god she’ll listen.
burn for your lover
in the fires of your own joy.
drown for your lover
in the waters of your own misery.
dance for your lover
til your bones shatter and your lips split.
bow for your lover
til your hips give out and the roses die.
you love like spiralling souls:
around and around again.
Mar 26, 2015
Mar 26, 2015 at 7:33 AM UTC
this is the end of all things,
where i’m picking my teeth for traces of you
and the light goes out in the middle of the night.
here is an alternate history:
your hands, but with
“the end of the world”
written on them.
because this was the real apocalypse,
your bruises implanted in my skin
the way they spelled “goodbye.”
take care, take care
you won’t be seeing me again.
but we were just swollen children,
you’re thinking,
we were just playing with blood like every child does.
and you’re right.
i was a human canvas and you were
painting my childhood onto me.
you never did anything any other boy wouldn’t do.
so bring me my ending world
in hands split and shaking.
so tell me i’m unlovely one last time.
you know i’ll believe each word you say.
tell me something.
what colour were my lips by the time we were through?
how deep a hole did you choose for me
that i could finally fit into once i was all carved up?
what kind of child was i?
tell me something.
what was so wrong with me
that you had to keep me?
Mar 25, 2015
Mar 25, 2015 at 7:58 AM UTC
you’re ***** you’re filthy.
come and i’ll show you how to be clean.
deep down inside you’re rotten.
you’re ridden with maggots.
you’re infested, hideous.
come and i’ll fix you, come and i’ll love you.
let me guide you here,
and in exchange,
i’ll let you keep your skin.
come and i’ll show you how to be good.
what you need is a change of pace.
something to live for.
come and i’ll seek you, come and i’ll find you.
you’re covered in soil.
you’ve been digging your grave with your own **** hands.
come and i’ll show you how to be clean.
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 1:45 AM UTC