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xaylaa
16/F/New York writing poems has been a secret i kept for a long time, but it’s what got me through hard times. now i am ready to share it. :)
when i look in the mirror i don’t like what i see you can blame body dysmorphia but i don’t want to be me i see the handles you call love resting above my hips i see the stretch marks on my thighs running across the dips
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Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020 at 1:36 AM UTC
untitled
sometimes i walk across the bridge watching the water flow the ships sailing below they wave to say hello but little do they know i wonder what it’s like to jump and feel yourself fall before it catches up to you before you really end it all i wonder what it’s like for the pain to go away i’ll be happy finally i’ll see you again some day i like to stand up on the roof to look over and see the life in front of me the busy and busting streets that again i will not meet i wonder what it’s like to jump and feel yourself fall before it catches up to you before you really end it all i wonder what it’s like for the pain to go away i’ll be happy finally i’ll see you again some day i wonder i wonder i wonder what it’s like to not be here i wonder i wonder i wonder what it’s like to not struggle someone tell me what it’s like this is a cry for help
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Feb 6, 2020
Feb 6, 2020 at 8:38 PM UTC
a cry for help
it’s harder than it seems to hold in all your tears the pain that’s added up throughout all these years i tried laying down but i got in my head the tears are rolling down i just want to be dead these thoughts keep popping up that i’m not good enough that i am all alone i am not even known i leave scratches on my arms and imprints on my legs with all these thoughts and actions i’m bound to wind up dead i imagine the fall from a roof top way up high before i hit the ground it’s as if i can fly i imagine active traffic and wind up on the street the breeze of passing cars before i succumb to defeat maybe dying hurts or maybe it’s relief its the high that happens right before even though it must be brief i want to feel that high not knowing what will happen it’s okay if i die for i was only passing
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Feb 6, 2020
Feb 6, 2020 at 8:30 PM UTC
i was only passing