xLOTTYx - Hello Poetry

It's 10 P.M. While my earphones are stuck in my ears for 3 hours, I waited to hear your name clash between the lyrics of the song I am listening to As the singer tune his mood out of every metaphor he says, You are all I see, all I hear, and all I care I thought of the Pacific Ocean and the moon How both beautiful beings had never collided and I thought of us I thought of how I always wanted to intertwine your big tanned hands to mine But then I also realized that it was just friendly messages you give me and that you thought of intertwining your hands with someone, but not me. I wept; your name echoed along the rivers of my tears and it felt absolutely painful I imagined your crooked smile, how it shines while it looked at me when you haven't had a clue about what I felt. And then suddenly you knew, and it was painful again and I was crying again and my heart still echoed for your touch, I don't know why The singer says I should hold on, never should I stop believing that I could be yours, and that we could be together But then the teacup of my feelings broke when the earthquake of your response punched through my heart and wobbled my hands until I can no longer hold the teacup. My hearts aches again. I remember your sweet scent, and when you call me and I glance at you, I see bubbles and sparkles And maybe everything nice, including you. But I'm sad, because anxiety took over me and you couldn't save me, I know you wouldn't want to save me. Because it's such a pain, it's too much effort and you don't like that, so you decided to put ice cold packs in your messages and reply with dull words. And my heart aches again, and this time, it's much painful. I've always wanted to bear your name, carve it to my heart and claim it mine But to think that your rainbow-colored smile and tanned skin would not belong to me, I stopped, let anxiety took over And gave you all up.

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Mar 20, 2019

Mar 20, 2019 at 11:03 AM UTC

my solemn thoughts at 10 P.M.

It's 10 P.M. While my earphones are stuck in my ears for 3 hours, I waited to hear your name clash between the lyrics of the song I am listening to As the singer tune his mood out of every metaphor he says, You are all I see, all I hear, and all I care I thought of the Pacific Ocean and the moon How both beautiful beings had never collided and I thought of us I thought of how I always wanted to intertwine your big tanned hands to mine But then I also realized that it was just friendly messages you give me and that you thought of intertwining your hands with someone, but not me. I wept; your name echoed along the rivers of my tears and it felt absolutely painful I imagined your crooked smile, how it shines while it looked at me when you haven't had a clue about what I felt. And then suddenly you knew, and it was painful again and I was crying again and my heart still echoed for your touch, I don't know why The singer says I should hold on, never should I stop believing that I could be yours, and that we could be together But then the teacup of my feelings broke when the earthquake of your response punched through my heart and wobbled my hands until I can no longer hold the teacup. My hearts aches again. I remember your sweet scent, and when you call me and I glance at you, I see bubbles and sparkles And maybe everything nice, including you. But I'm sad, because anxiety took over me and you couldn't save me, I know you wouldn't want to save me. Because it's such a pain, it's too much effort and you don't like that, so you decided to put ice cold packs in your messages and reply with dull words. And my heart aches again, and this time, it's much painful. I've always wanted to bear your name, carve it to my heart and claim it mine But to think that your rainbow-colored smile and tanned skin would not belong to me, I stopped, let anxiety took over And gave you all up.

31

you carved your name into my heart painlessly opening your way I couldn't let go I couldn't let you go

0

Feb 1, 2019

Feb 1, 2019 at 8:23 AM UTC

Untitled

you carved your name into my heart painlessly opening your way I couldn't let go I couldn't let you go

4

You see, I've liked you for months now. The moment I shared my birthday celebration with you, I realized I like you. As days progress, I've become more attached, more greedy and more selfish. I wanted you more today than how much I wanted you yesterday. But the moment I felt I needed you no matter what insane thoughts and graveyard closed curtains, I saw you happy with another maiden. Your smiles was thousands times more beautiful than when you are with me. It shines brighter and radiates a light only both of you can immense on your own. I've become envious and started doubts. You only look at them, not me. I had wished for you, your smile, your touch and your sweetness, I want to have them all. You are my first evil, dark loathing desires that had But this maiden is my friend. So I've come to a conclusion that I'll thank you but I'll also say sorry because I'd rather give you up, a door of lost keys and wonderland, than to lose a friend with stars blink through our night. I love you, but I'd still hope you too.

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Feb 1, 2019

Feb 1, 2019 at 8:15 AM UTC

TO: MEL

You see, I've liked you for months now. The moment I shared my birthday celebration with you, I realized I like you. As days progress, I've become more attached, more greedy and more selfish. I wanted you more today than how much I wanted you yesterday. But the moment I felt I needed you no matter what insane thoughts and graveyard closed curtains, I saw you happy with another maiden. Your smiles was thousands times more beautiful than when you are with me. It shines brighter and radiates a light only both of you can immense on your own. I've become envious and started doubts. You only look at them, not me. I had wished for you, your smile, your touch and your sweetness, I want to have them all. You are my first evil, dark loathing desires that had But this maiden is my friend. So I've come to a conclusion that I'll thank you but I'll also say sorry because I'd rather give you up, a door of lost keys and wonderland, than to lose a friend with stars blink through our night. I love you, but I'd still hope you too.

3

You are my journey, You are my goal I aspire to be you, I had hoped to have you In my twinkling memories your light I only see, I only want you to be with me

0

Jan 25, 2019

Jan 25, 2019 at 7:49 AM UTC

Untitled

You are my journey, You are my goal I aspire to be you, I had hoped to have you In my twinkling memories your light I only see, I only want you to be with me

6

My desires grow stronger. Before I sleep, I think of you a little longer Eating away my hunger But maybe feeling a whole lot bitter. When I'm with you, I think of nothing new If only you could say "I love you" These things might be too good to be true The daylight in my heart wanders as I see you smile It feels as if it's for you, I could cross a thousand mile The bliss of your eyes left me beguiled, I just hope it wouldn't last for a while The way your voice echoes at the sound of my name Lingers in my head; desire grew stronger; monster I cannot tame This war is a game I never wanted to aim "Please make it stop, this is too lame" But the sense of your skin as it touches mine, Makes me want to hope I could spare some more time And through daytime, My mind jumps through things I call them "sign" How I am when I'm with you, A scar of nothingness and color blue Then a spur of blood and anger I don't want you to view Scares me to death, I might even break you too.

0

Jan 24, 2019

Jan 24, 2019 at 1:55 AM UTC

how it feels when I'm with you

My desires grow stronger. Before I sleep, I think of you a little longer Eating away my hunger But maybe feeling a whole lot bitter. When I'm with you, I think of nothing new If only you could say "I love you" These things might be too good to be true The daylight in my heart wanders as I see you smile It feels as if it's for you, I could cross a thousand mile The bliss of your eyes left me beguiled, I just hope it wouldn't last for a while The way your voice echoes at the sound of my name Lingers in my head; desire grew stronger; monster I cannot tame This war is a game I never wanted to aim "Please make it stop, this is too lame" But the sense of your skin as it touches mine, Makes me want to hope I could spare some more time And through daytime, My mind jumps through things I call them "sign" How I am when I'm with you, A scar of nothingness and color blue Then a spur of blood and anger I don't want you to view Scares me to death, I might even break you too.

24

I didn't know it was possible Your name keeps ringing in my head Breaking through my heart like it's the most fragile thing you've ever handled You swayed my feelings, looking through my soul as if it was yours You made me think that it's possible to be with you Until I start hallucinations, And when I lose track of time, I realize.... I like you.

0

Jan 19, 2019

Jan 19, 2019 at 8:01 AM UTC

You

I didn't know it was possible Your name keeps ringing in my head Breaking through my heart like it's the most fragile thing you've ever handled You swayed my feelings, looking through my soul as if it was yours You made me think that it's possible to be with you Until I start hallucinations, And when I lose track of time, I realize.... I like you.

9

a monster residing deep within kept her at bay; made her weak; peeled her heart; crushed her soul; added anxiety worsen depression; when actually all this time, she was fighting herself

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Nov 6, 2018

Nov 6, 2018 at 7:51 AM UTC

she fights

a monster residing deep within kept her at bay; made her weak; peeled her heart; crushed her soul; added anxiety worsen depression; when actually all this time, she was fighting herself

10

The night will always be empty With stars no longer a plenty No crickets shall be heard chirping No wind shall be heard whispering Only voices, voices shouting out from the abyss each heart wrenching screech shall come a sickening bliss. Blood will flow endlessly from your lips And a swift death, given by a bittersweet kiss Your pain shall be rewarded by joy Harm shall reciprocate pleasure Defeat will no longer yield anger And death shall no longer seem as stranger Tears will mix with blood and sweat Over flowing your emotions so Struggle will no longer give you fret As it shall flower a beautiful sorrow The night will always be empty With only the moon shining It will, however, be filled a plenty With flowers of sorrow blooming.

0

Nov 6, 2018

Nov 6, 2018 at 7:44 AM UTC

The Night Blossoms

The night will always be empty With stars no longer a plenty No crickets shall be heard chirping No wind shall be heard whispering Only voices, voices shouting out from the abyss each heart wrenching screech shall come a sickening bliss. Blood will flow endlessly from your lips And a swift death, given by a bittersweet kiss Your pain shall be rewarded by joy Harm shall reciprocate pleasure Defeat will no longer yield anger And death shall no longer seem as stranger Tears will mix with blood and sweat Over flowing your emotions so Struggle will no longer give you fret As it shall flower a beautiful sorrow The night will always be empty With only the moon shining It will, however, be filled a plenty With flowers of sorrow blooming.

20

eyes have pierced through my soul looking as if they had seen me eyes have desperately barged into my mind telling me I am not doing well enough eyes have wounded this heart as I ever so wanted to break free, because those eyes will forever look at me in a sea of expectations

0

Nov 6, 2018

Nov 6, 2018 at 7:38 AM UTC

the eyes that looks at me

eyes have pierced through my soul looking as if they had seen me eyes have desperately barged into my mind telling me I am not doing well enough eyes have wounded this heart as I ever so wanted to break free, because those eyes will forever look at me in a sea of expectations

4

Wherever you might be, No matter what soul you carry, Whenever you're free, In deep desperation, in solitude; Even if our love is ephemeral, I'd still find you And fall for you Dance for you Keep you Hold you Over and over One more time Until you make your last breath one more time.

0

Sep 28, 2018

Sep 28, 2018 at 7:48 AM UTC

i'd still find you

Wherever you might be, No matter what soul you carry, Whenever you're free, In deep desperation, in solitude; Even if our love is ephemeral, I'd still find you And fall for you Dance for you Keep you Hold you Over and over One more time Until you make your last breath one more time.

13