I'm still waiting for the night
when your face isn't the skeletal
structure holding my entire being up
and your smile isn't the blood
flowing through my veins
keeping this ********* body of mine
functioning
the one night
when I'll be fine and the
realization that the throb
of missing you isn't fused
into my heart forever
but tonight is not that night
and i lay w a i t i n g
-DDF
Dec 14, 2016
Dec 14, 2016 at 11:09 AM UTC
i lie here, your deep breathing
tickling tiny wisps of my hair
the cracked ceiling tiles have
never looked so interesting
somehow, your warm body cocooned itself
around mine last night
and i can't bring myself to untangle
your limbs from mine
you're a box labeled: “FRAGILE.
HANDLE WITH CARE.”
and one thought flutters forward:
“oh, honey,
how no one handled you with care.”
my fingers trace “fragile” on your exposed skin,
as i count -one,two- the cracks
in the ceiling.
-DDF
Sep 29, 2016
Sep 29, 2016 at 11:42 AM UTC
it's funny how i watched you walk
away, eyes holding the floor as if
the secrets of the universe were
hidden in the cracked eggshell
tiles
and i know about how you looked back,
eyes starving and finding my face,
appetite then satisfied
and trust me,
i know about how your cheeks took
on the color of roses and you turned
away, pushing our memories even further
from the two of us.
i know all of this because my eyes
held your body captive in the clear blue
of them,
drowning you in so many tidal waves,
even as I longed to be your life vest. -DDF
Aug 24, 2016
Aug 24, 2016 at 2:32 PM UTC
“you should probably go,”
I know, what an innocent, simple request
but no matter the innocence, it
starts a quake in my bones, a trembling
that shakes continents from my veins,
and rips loose whole cities from their
foundations nestled in between my knuckles
i’m sorry. i know how hard it must be to
deal with my arms wrapping themselves
around you, boa constrictors after prey,
and pulling you ever so close, close enough
to feel your pulse beat against mine
to feel the quickening of my own heart,
knowing that now i must leave, leave and
put up a fight with the empty storage that is
my bed
i cannot begin to tell you how many times i have
fought the crippling loneliness that lays between
my sheets, an unwanted lover, and have portrayed
the abuse of a lost battle
too many times i have lied down to show
my surrender, and too many times i have
been beaten while doing so
you see, loneliness was never a fair contender
never a fair person to begin with, matter of factly
and when i say i’m undeniably sorry for my arms
holding you too close,
know,
i mean it. -DDF
Jun 25, 2016
Jun 25, 2016 at 11:15 PM UTC
(This is how i let go)
the best feeling in the
human body is when
your lungs push out
laughter that has long
been blocked by ruthless
words thrown around as if
they were nothing more than
raindrops when they were actually
grenades
and your smile is finally genuine
and crinkles your eyes,
the same eyes that spent too many hours
swollen from constant pain
but the absolute best feeling
in the
human body is when
your mind loosens it's
grip on the crazy notion
that you needed him to survive,
you needed him almost as if
you were an addict.
but rehab has made an angel out of
you and your body yet.
and how happy i am and will
continue to be now that you
have dropped the needle
you once used to inject him
into your veins.
(Help was never as far as we thought,
was it?)
-DDF
May 12, 2016
May 12, 2016 at 8:10 AM UTC
your finger tips trace novels
along my spine
your lips bury themselves
within my hair,
chapters following each strand
your whole being turns
my sorry excuse of an
existence into a New York
Times best seller
maybe one day I'll stop getting
our limbs so confused on
whose is whose
and actually climb out of
bed and show the world i am
what you made me out to be.
but for now,
I’m content in the sanctuary of
your arms,
our pulses struggling to
decipher if mine is yours,
and if your’s is mine. -DDF
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 12, 2016 at 2:40 PM UTC
when I close my eyes
I find simplistic nirvana
in remembering
the way his face shapes
as if it was molded with an effort
so meaningful that the artist
wanted to share it with the world
and to think that I was once
his version of a world that
needed a masterpiece added
to its gallery
-DDF
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 15, 2016 at 9:19 AM UTC
I light a cigarette and cross my legs, eyes boring into his neck where a midnight shade of purple resides, just below where I once kissed.
A new smell of feminine wishes hangs in the air between us. And I know now, you can ****** someone without the use of any weapons. Death comes easy with even the most subtle breaking of a heart. -DDF
Mar 10, 2016
Mar 10, 2016 at 11:53 AM UTC
that boy hasn't been
sober for days
and i can't help but
wonder
if it was my own
selfishness that
turned him into
such a useless fray
-DDF
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 25, 2016 at 12:10 PM UTC
i will kiss each one
of your knuckles
just to remind you that
pain and love go hand
in hand
but
oh
how we punish ourselves
with both poisons
and i cannot tell if it's
you or i that brings us
back to this repetitive idea
that love will kiss our
scars and wipe at our
tears with hands equal
to that of
satin bows found
in sewing boxes
but **** did you love
how satin shimmered
-DDF
Feb 10, 2016
Feb 10, 2016 at 10:49 AM UTC