What if your nightmare
Is my reality
If you didnt know would you care
Heres what I see
If you dreamt,
You couldn't see your parents,
They may see you,
But must leave you be.
You have post traumatic stress.
And every night you can relive
The moment they died
Right before your eyes.
The fire engulfs them
And you here there cries
Would you to awaken,
Knowing it was there true demise
There no should to cry on not even one near
What would you do then
I know if it wasn't you
You'd bully the one
Who lives the dream
The one who awakens
With his own screams
This is what I live
This is why I cry
The others, they torment me
Because I never have dry eyes
Its been three years
Since I've truely smiled
I am a shell
Who simply takes space
Til that vivd day
I cut off my own face
Feb 5, 2016
Feb 5, 2016 at 4:30 PM UTC
I woke up this morning
only to find my woman's
tears drying on my pillow.
She must have left during
the night without saying
good night, fearing I would
not want to listen to her
drivel.
I could only hope that it was
not something I said that made
her think I was lying
and that was what caused her
to start crying.
Now here she is late into
this night,
knocking on my door,
crying out like a wayward
voice in the wind,
asking me to let her come in.
I opened the door
to let her come in
and that's when she started
to cry again.
She asked me to hold her
in my arms
and I obliged
as she stood there
and cried.
Precious started to shiver
and shake,
so I asked her
why she quaked.
She looked at me
and I could see the color
drain from her face,
while her tears slowly rolled down
my arms, gently falling to the ground.
I could sense that there
was something amiss
and I was not going to be remiss
with the woman I loved,
as an inexplicable cold
came over her
causing me to shiver.
I had an unexplainable
feeling that this might
be the last night
I would be spending
with my Precious
and I did not want her
to slip into a state of unconsciousness
before I knew what was causing
her to behave like this.
I looked down at her ashen face
and asked her if she had taken
something to cause her to
act like this,
all the while wondering if I
was the cause of this.
Precious just looked at me
while she grew weaker in my arms
and then unexpectedly,
she grabbed my neck,
pulling me down to her quivering lips
and whispered into my ear
that she came here tonight
to die.
What!
Why?
Why did she say she came
here to die?
Why?
Tears came to my eyes
because I did not want
her to die.
I started to panic because
I did not know what to do
and I did not want her to die
without knowing why
she wanted to die.
I held her tightly in my arms
and tried to keep her warm,
but to no avail.
Her knees began to buckle
and her eyes rolled towards
the back of her head.
That's when I thought
she was dead,
but she started to cough
and as if that wasn't enough,
she went limp in my arms.
I picked her up
and laid her down on my couch,
knowing all along I was no slouch,
nor was I insensitive,
but I had to do something
to help her out.
While I was covering her
knees with her skirt,
Precious reached out
to grab my shirt,
pulling me down
towards her drying lips
and whispered to me
why she came here to die.
Precious said she chose to die
rather than live because
there was no love from me
coming into her heart.
She said my kind of love
had been wrong
for so long.
Then, she told me that I only
loved her mind and body,
not her heart, or soul.
Precious whispered to me
that there was no meaning to her life
anymore knowing that there would never
be any love forthcoming from me going into her heart
and that was why she chose not to live,
but rather to die.
I moved closer to her ear
to tell her that she was right.
I said to her that I should have
loved her heart
right from the start
and not doing that was a fatal
mistake on my part.
I asked her why she
did not come to me
and talk about this
because if she had
she would not have done this.
I wanted to tell her that I
loved her,
but I was scared to say
I love you.
I even wanted to marry her,
but I knew the moves I made
for her were not right
and now it is too late to make
it right.
Precious moved closer to my ear
and said words that cut
into my heart like a thousand
knives.
I know now from what she
just said that I will never have
any kind of life knowing the
memories I have of her will
haunt me night after night
for what I have done here tonight.
I held her head in my hands
and told her that I did love her,
but I sensed she thought it was
a lie.
I whispered in her ear that I
loved her more than Romeo
loved his Juliet.
I told her she was my Juliet,
my everything blessing,
my silver spring
and the Angel that slept
with me at night,
walked with me in the day light,
all the while protecting me from
the thieves with their lonely tramps that
walked our streets at night.
I pulled Precious up to my ear
and she stopped whispering,
only to start gasping for air,
so I laid her back down once again
for all I could do now was painfully
watch her life come to an end.
The light in her eyes began to
flicker on
and off
and the only tears coming from her
eyes now came from the trickling
of my tears falling into her lifeless eyes.
Blood started to flow from the corner of her mouth
and that's when I started to shout out her name,
but nothing said by her came.
What's happening here can't be real.
I must be in a dream.
I pleaded with her to tell me
that this was all a lie
and that she was not going to die,
but a response never came.
Oh God, what an *** am I,
since it was me that made
her choose to die.
I remember Precious telling me
that she only wanted to live
for today,
no matter what got in her way.
Well, in the end, I got in her
way
and now I will have to live
the rest of my life
knowing that I killed the only love
of my life.
If anyone should be dying,
let it be me for the
the horrible life
I've led.
Why, why God, was I not
laying here dead
in her stead?
I looked down at her again
and the pillow that was
under her head
was bathed in red.
Her body was without life now
and my heart was welling up
with pain.
I felt like I was going insane
because I was the only one
who should be blamed.
I took a heart full of love
and turned it into shattered glass.
I leaned forward and gave Precious
a long passionate kiss,
then I whispered to her keep
this kiss because I would soon be
joining her.
I closed her eyes
while I cried,
then I said my goodbyes.
I kissed her one last time
while telling her
that my love was hers
to keep forever.
I wanted to go outside
and lash out at the night,
or at anyone in sight,
thinking this would ease the pain
building up in my heart.
I realized then that there was
no one left for me to talk to
except for God.
I took hold of my woman's hand,
looked up to the heavens
and thanked God
for bringing Precious into my life,
then I made a promise to Him
that when I was with Precious again,
the only thing she will get from me
would be
my undying love
and devotion
to fill up her heart.
Rest in peace Precious
and know in your heart
of hearts
that I love you!
Aug 25, 2015
Aug 25, 2015 at 4:07 PM UTC
Take my hand,
Drips of tears.
Lead me out of here. Fear,
everywhere.
Tears continue to pour.
I start to fade away.
What was once Bright,
quickly turns Black.
My heart?
Beaten.
My eye?
Burn with tears.
My wrist?
What wrist?
My hope is gone,
done with.
It left when you did.
Now I'm waiting.
Waiting on something that will never come
someone who will never show.
slowly dying.
Slowly fading.
Bright goes to dark.
Light to black.
Happy to dead.
Smile to frown.
Me to nothing.
You to..
The one that killed me.
Aug 25, 2015
Aug 25, 2015 at 4:01 PM UTC
Pain became my friend today
She showed me how to hide
She’d been watching from a distance
Every tear I cried
Pain became my friend today
Reached out her hand to me
Then pulled me into darkness
Introducing misery
Pain became my friend today
She’s emptying my heart
She’s now my constant companion
Tearing me apart
Pain became my friend today
She isolates my soul
Now without her I am nothing
In her I’m consoled
Pain became my friend today
Saw me kneel down and cry
Then she lay down right next to me
Kissed my joy good-bye
Pain became my friend today
Acquainted me with sorrow
Who showed me how to dwell in agony
And fear the break of tomorrow
Pain became my friend today
She’s making my heart cold
Pain became my friend today
The only hand I hold
Jan 24, 2014
Jan 24, 2014 at 11:47 AM UTC
me and you
you and me
as close as
any two could be
holding hands
letting go
must never let
the others know
kissing only
when alone
spending hours
on the phone
loving when
the time is right
keep it hidden
out of sight
in out hearts
we know it's true
best friends
yes
but lovers too...
me and you
you and me
as close as
any two could be
holding hands
letting go
must never let
the others know
kissing only
when alone
spending hours
on the phone
loving when
the time is right
keep it hidden
out of sight
in out hearts
we know it's true
best friends
yes
but lovers too...
Jan 24, 2014
Jan 24, 2014 at 11:44 AM UTC
I look beyond my scarred life
I look beyond to find me gone
I take a last glance at this place
I tried to hide for far too long
I try to keep my absence secret
I don't want you to hurt
With every day that I am gone
I felt as if I was dirt
I hate to leave you in this life
However it's the only right way
I'll remember all those memories
As I linger in you're today
The past may hurt too much to stand
But please never let it go
With every step you'll be much stronger
I'll be around when your feeling low
never forget me and my ways
I know I left but I still remember
I hurt you all with lack of presence
But don't forget Crystalwolftear
Jan 24, 2014
Jan 24, 2014 at 11:42 AM UTC
I didn't care what people thought.
We always used to smile.
I clung on so desperately
For everything was a lie.
You took me past the clouds,
Up to the clearest sky.
Now I know you better
And if you wont, I'll cry.
For our first kiss
I can't breathe
Our conversations, I miss
I can't breathe
I'm trying to forget
I can't breathe
I don't believe you left
I can't breathe
My thoughts were we'd be forever.
I close my eyes and dream.
Apparently we were never
What other people believed.
You were my first, will be my last-
Are my only love.
For your touch I still thirst, my dear
I live in memory of the past; not enough.
For our walks through the streets
I can't breathe
In the warm summer breeze
I can't breathe
Long were your sighs
I can't breathe
for when you were mine
I can't breathe
And did you hear my sobs?!
And did you see my tears?!
Did you want my blood?
Now you're one of my fears,
Now my breaths end is near,
Now it's all so very clear.
So here I am, bleeding out
Missing you, you see.
Always wanting you by my side
It wasn't meant to be?
But here I am, bleeding out
I wasn't your love to give
But that of the mask you always wore with me
I don't have the strength to live.
I have no strength
I can't breathe
I have nothing left
I can't breathe
You were the thief to my heart
I can't breathe
Our lives are those that are set apart
I can't breathe
You've literally beaten
The breath out of me.
You've literally kicked me to death,
My dear
you've stolen my life
No, my love, literally.
Jan 24, 2014
Jan 24, 2014 at 11:39 AM UTC
I live with my broken heart
I live with my dying part
I can't believe that I still live
Even in my dream I can't have your love
I have wings but I can't fly
I'm torturing but I can't cry
I can't live without you but I will try
Even stars don't shine on my black sky
Why does my destiny not on your way
Although I've seen the Sun and Moon together
If I could open your heart with this key
I would be with you forever!!!
Jan 24, 2014
Jan 24, 2014 at 11:37 AM UTC
Her Dad was a drunk,
Her Mom was an addict,
Her parents kept her locked in an attic.
Her only friend,
Was a little toy bear,
It was old and worn out,
And had patches of hair.
She always talked to it,
When no one's around,
She lies there and hugs it,
Not a peek of sound.
Until her parents,
Unlock the door,
Some more and more pain,
She'll have to endure.
A bruise on her leg,
A scar on her face,
Why would she be in such a horrible place?
But she grabs her bear,
And softly cries,
She loves her parents,
But they want her to die.
She sits in a corner,
Quiet, but thinking,
"God, why? Why is my life always sinking?"
Such a bad life,
For a sad little kid,
She'd get beaten and beaten,
For anything she did.
Then one night,
Her Mom came home high,
The poor child was hit and slapped,
As hours went by.
Then her Mom suddenly,
Grabbed for a blade,
It was sharp and pointy,
One that she made.
She ****** the blade,
Right into her chest,
"You deserve to die,
You worthless pest!"
The Mom walked out,
Leaving the girl slowly dying,
She grabbed for her bear,
And again started crying.
Police showed up,
At the small little House,
They quickly barged in,
Everything was as quiet as a mouse.
One officer slowly,
Opened a door,
To find the sad little girl,
Lying on the floor.
It must have been bad,
To go through so much harm,
But at least she died,
With her best friend in her arms.
Jan 14, 2014
Jan 14, 2014 at 1:06 PM UTC
what's the use of a heart when your heart gets broken.
what's the use of breathing when you leave me breathless.
what's the use of a soul if your soul gets stolen.
what's the use of speech when you don't even speak to me.
what's the point of feelings if someone dislikes you for them.
what's the point of you and me if you know that it will never work out, but i thought it would.
so here i lay crying on the floor "i loved you and i still do". but you go and forget my feelings for you...
Jan 14, 2014
Jan 14, 2014 at 1:04 PM UTC