Quiet streets
Tall buildings, dotted with a grid
Of uniform windows.
Little sets them apart
But the people within.
You watch their silhouettes,
And try to determine their stories.
Are they alone? Are they happy? Are they asleep?
There’s only so much you can draw
From a brief shadow.
But there may be meaning, there may not.
Meaning is what you make it to be.
Black pavement
Lies bordered by dim streetlights.
A telephone box
Stands vacant, serving little purpose.
Another relic of the past.
Perhaps we should hold a funeral
For what once was.
But who has the time?
Concrete fades into dirt, gravel, sand.
If only.
It climbs between your toes, up your ankles,
Luring you away
From the city lights.
The waves roll onto the shore,
And you fill your body
With the freshness, crispness of the air.
You hold it, but you know you have to exhale
And let go of the waves,
The sand,
The cool wind,
This place trapped in time.
You know you have to keep moving.
There is little time
To be still.
To watch strangers dancing in windows,
To gaze upon a distant horizon,
To catch your breath.
Keep moving,
Or you will be left behind.
Keep moving,
Or you are lost in the crowd.
May 25, 2019
May 25, 2019 at 5:24 AM UTC
it's strange
folding up all your t-shirts
and boxing up all the gifts you've given me
that made me smile once
but now they hurt to look at
i'll see you tomorrow
and the day after that
i'm stuck with you, like that
that awkward mix of pain and pathetic relief
that i see you every day
i feel so many things
i miss you
and i'd give anything to kiss you, hold you again
but i'm angry at you
because you treat me like ****
and i'm worried
because you're not coping
i need to trust you to deal with this yourself
because i can't keep hurting myself to try and fix you
but i can't stop thinking
what if you hurt yourself?
what if you fall into your old habits?
what if you decide you can't take it anymore, and you...
i hate that you make me feel like this
you're so obsessed with your own pain
your own problems
that you don't think of me
worried sick about you
heartbroken without you
but that doesn't matter to you.
it's time for me to step back
and let you go chase a nicotine addiction
a pattern of self-hatred and lashing out
because i can't help you anymore
it's up to you to choose to care about yourself
and i hope to god that you do
because i care about you more than anything
and that's why it hurts so much to let you go
but i need to do this for me.
Mar 24, 2019
Mar 24, 2019 at 6:17 AM UTC
. .
Are you okay?
Yeah, I’m all good.
My body sways, moves out of my control, thrown around as if I were a leaf in the wind. Waves of dark water crash over me, enveloping me from head to toe, stinging my skin and sending pulses of cold pain through my bones.
What’s wrong?
Nothing, don’t worry.
I struggle to hold myself steady, to hold my head above the water as currents threaten to drag me down, as waves crash past my head, filling my lungs with water.
Do you need to talk?
Nah, I’m fine.
As if a tendril had reached up from the depths and wrapped around my ankle, I felt a hold on me, pulling me down. My head goes under, and its black, and its cold, and my lungs are frozen.
Figures swirl around me in the darkness, blacker than black, whispering and taunting.
You’re a ******
It’s your fault.
Why don’t you just disappear?
You’re a waste of attention, you’re a waste of money.
Why do they bother? There’s no helping you.
I kick and writhe, I scream soundlessly, I try to pull my way up to the surface.
But I can’t.
My body goes limp, and the words devour me, and my tears are lost in the black water around me.
That black is all I am.
I am nothing but dark thoughts.
I am nothing but anger, and sadness, and jealousy and hatred.
I’m never gonna see the sun again.
It feels like forever.
And it’s so ******* tiring.
But...
Hey, relax.
I begin to float, the tendrils loosening their grip on me.
It’s gonna be okay.
I kick. It hurts to, but I kick.
Just breathe.
I break through the surface, gasping for breath.
I love you.
And I look up, and I see the sun.
. .
Sep 10, 2018
Sep 10, 2018 at 4:19 AM UTC
this'll pass what if i'm like this forever?
it's all in my head what if this is all i am?
don't worry about me please don't leave me
i just need some time i'm scared of being alone
i'll be fine i don't know what to do
everything's okay everything hurts
Aug 5, 2018
Aug 5, 2018 at 8:07 AM UTC
There's a point,
After all the crying
And hurting,
Of numbness.
It's kind of peaceful,
But it's also really
Scary.
I sit there
Pondering all the ways I could hurt myself,
Reading the labels on the bottles in the bathroom,
Wondering if any of it
Could **** me.
I'm not suicidal.
But for a moment there,
I ******* scared myself.
Aug 4, 2018
Aug 4, 2018 at 8:23 AM UTC
i can't stop crying
i don't even know why
but the tears fall for an hour
and then they dry
and then i'm waiting
til it happens again
til i'm flooded with this feeling
of my mindstate caving in
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018 at 5:11 AM UTC
i hope you know
that i would give
everything
to make your hurt go away.
i wish
i could take it
and make it my own
so you wouldn't have to suffer it.
you're so great
you're ******* incredible
and i hate
that you suffer this.
i love every inch of you
and i wish
with all my ****** heart
that you did too.
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018 at 7:34 AM UTC
The sun glares down
Over lost, weary travellers,
Casting crimson
Over the rolling dunes.
Their shadows
Fall upon the sand;
An ocean of tiny little grains—
Moving,
Always moving
Under the wind,
Like travellers themselves—
Millions of them,
Moving,
Shifting,
Changing,
Constantly inconstant.
The lines atop the dunes—
The divide where light and dark
Separate,
Alter their shape
With the shifts in the sand,
Wriggling like a snake.
This view,
This world
Of rolling dunes,
Stark segregations of light and dark,
Sandy, cutting winds,
Was not made for strangers—
For these poor wanderers.
They wander,
Like tiny ants,
Upon an endless, reddened landscape,
So far from their nest—
Made up of grand structures,
Taller than they are vast,
Crafted carefully,
Brick by brick.
Unshifting,
Unchanging,
Stark and clear against the sky.
Far too compact
To allow room for wandering.
Glass and stone—
A wall against the winds.
A place
Where these strangers weren’t strangers.
It was there—
Right there.
Standing above the dunes,
Reaching out of the sand
Into a pink expanse of clouds.
But no,
These strangers
Remain strangers,
Wandering a world
Of harsh beauty
And wondrous irregularity.
Jul 19, 2018
Jul 19, 2018 at 7:01 AM UTC
soft hands
against soft skin.
soft touches
draw sighs from within.
soft words
make everything okay.
soft smiles
make my entire day.
i miss you
even though it hasn't been that long
because it just doesn't feel right
when you're gone.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 7:09 AM UTC
I want to lie
Naked by your side
Feeling your skin
Soft against mine.
Let me hear your words
Whispered in my ear
Tell me that you love me
Stay with me, here.
Call me all the sweet names
That put a smile onto my face
And press your lips against mine
Because I love the way you taste.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 7:07 AM UTC