wintergirl - Hello Poetry

i never understood the phrase home is where the heart is until i was shaking on the floor of my hospital room and it was nothing but walls and even when i found the energy to decorate with cliché little things like fairy lights, posters, my skeletal “art” i felt the room swallow me whole until i was nothing but a grain of sand my new roommate was a wrinkly zucchini-girl and i tried not to speak to her but we heard each other cry in the night and we never said a word but i could feel her eyes on me a girl down the hall heard me talking about my addiction and she told me she would pray for me later that day she pushed me into a wall and pressed her lips against mine then told me i was tempting her, i was a sin just waiting to happen so i sat in the dark outside her room every night before i went to sleep and sometimes she would come out and hold my hands and tell me she loved me

0

Oct 22, 2020

Oct 22, 2020 at 12:52 AM UTC

home

i never understood the phrase home is where the heart is until i was shaking on the floor of my hospital room and it was nothing but walls and even when i found the energy to decorate with cliché little things like fairy lights, posters, my skeletal “art” i felt the room swallow me whole until i was nothing but a grain of sand my new roommate was a wrinkly zucchini-girl and i tried not to speak to her but we heard each other cry in the night and we never said a word but i could feel her eyes on me a girl down the hall heard me talking about my addiction and she told me she would pray for me later that day she pushed me into a wall and pressed her lips against mine then told me i was tempting her, i was a sin just waiting to happen so i sat in the dark outside her room every night before i went to sleep and sometimes she would come out and hold my hands and tell me she loved me

31

today is a Gone day the kind of day where i can't see past the blood on my fingertips the kind of day where standing up or thinking too long makes my chest ache today the world outside my thoughts is cloudy and irrelevant i want to sleep but my head is too loud i can't even speak over the deafening sounds those wretched voices reminding me that i'll never be enough today I can't leave my room reality slips under me and i'm in a Gone world my senses evaporate and i'm left in my head, alone, again today will disappear from my memory in the stream of coming days it's already starting to slip away one moment, and it's Gone.

0

Mar 27, 2020

Mar 27, 2020 at 4:11 AM UTC

Gone days

today is a Gone day the kind of day where i can't see past the blood on my fingertips the kind of day where standing up or thinking too long makes my chest ache today the world outside my thoughts is cloudy and irrelevant i want to sleep but my head is too loud i can't even speak over the deafening sounds those wretched voices reminding me that i'll never be enough today I can't leave my room reality slips under me and i'm in a Gone world my senses evaporate and i'm left in my head, alone, again today will disappear from my memory in the stream of coming days it's already starting to slip away one moment, and it's Gone.

20

one day i will show you the world hidden under my chest until then, rest easy, my love. the stories will come in time sleep in my arms and wait with me until that day

0

Mar 27, 2020

Mar 27, 2020 at 3:53 AM UTC

stories

one day i will show you the world hidden under my chest until then, rest easy, my love. the stories will come in time sleep in my arms and wait with me until that day

6

if my body disintegrated and blew away with the wind you called wretched leaving only dust and memories and feelings and the vague thought of my hand in yours would you miss me? would you even notice?

0

Mar 3, 2020

Mar 3, 2020 at 1:29 PM UTC

if i vanished

if my body disintegrated and blew away with the wind you called wretched leaving only dust and memories and feelings and the vague thought of my hand in yours would you miss me? would you even notice?

7

i'm turning into the skeleton that i see in my closet

0

Mar 3, 2020

Mar 3, 2020 at 1:25 PM UTC

bones

i'm turning into the skeleton that i see in my closet

3

alone with my thoughts i turn to the sea and i smile, thinking of you

0

Feb 27, 2020

Feb 27, 2020 at 1:25 PM UTC

Untitled

alone with my thoughts i turn to the sea and i smile, thinking of you

3

does my "less than" title make you better than me?

0

Feb 27, 2020

Feb 27, 2020 at 10:36 AM UTC

neurotypicals

does my "less than" title make you better than me?

3

asleep - the smiths i'm in love with u, sorry - j'san tonight you belong to me - nicole sidney the bad list - z berg, ryan ross i fall for the same face every time - z berg we almost nailed it - z berg bubble gum - clairo she - dodie girl - the beatles here, there and everywhere - the beatles something - the beatles the long and winding road - the beatles watch you sleep. - girl in red i wanna be your girlfriend - girl in red 4am - girl in red build me up buttercup - lara anderson broken (acoustic) - lovelytheband crush culture - conan gray strawberry kisses - olivia herdt slow dance - adventure time, olivia olson the record player song - daisy the great breathe me - sia love like you - steven universe, rebecca sugar love like you (reprise) - steven universe, rebecca sugar asleep - the smiths

0

Feb 24, 2020

Feb 24, 2020 at 11:45 PM UTC

oh **** im in love with her

asleep - the smiths i'm in love with u, sorry - j'san tonight you belong to me - nicole sidney the bad list - z berg, ryan ross i fall for the same face every time - z berg we almost nailed it - z berg bubble gum - clairo she - dodie girl - the beatles here, there and everywhere - the beatles something - the beatles the long and winding road - the beatles watch you sleep. - girl in red i wanna be your girlfriend - girl in red 4am - girl in red build me up buttercup - lara anderson broken (acoustic) - lovelytheband crush culture - conan gray strawberry kisses - olivia herdt slow dance - adventure time, olivia olson the record player song - daisy the great breathe me - sia love like you - steven universe, rebecca sugar love like you (reprise) - steven universe, rebecca sugar asleep - the smiths

25

i miss waking up with your heart in the palm of my hand

0

Feb 24, 2020

Feb 24, 2020 at 11:07 AM UTC

heart

i miss waking up with your heart in the palm of my hand

4

i put my pen to paper and try to conjure beauty but there's nothing beautiful about yellow teeth nothing beautiful about your stomach groaning in large groups about falling asleep starving about eating tissue paper to stop feeling hungry nothing beautiful about looking at an apple and seeing 60 or half an hour of push ups and not a ******* apple nothing beautiful about bleeding knuckles and pounding heads about ***** in whatever hair is left because it's all on your bathroom floor about light fur growing on your arms and legs grown by your body to keep you warm nothing beautiful about feeling dizzy, always about fainting on the treadmill and getting a rugburn on your face from the pressure nothing beautiful about tubes in your nose feeding you sugar water about sharp ankles on cold scales about needles in arms about shaking uncontrollably nothing beautiful about cold. and there's nothing beautiful about death.

0

Feb 21, 2020

Feb 21, 2020 at 1:40 PM UTC

the most glorified illness (tw)

36