Last night, I fell apart.
I woke up blanketed in sodden ash,
Tears saturated into the eruption's fallout
The proximity of crackling fire assaulting my senses,
I was still angry.
I felt intoxicated, drunk on words never said
But the ones that were spoken lay spiked into my head
Partners apart, but strangers together
The hawks are gone in my life, but you can still find the feathers
Questions slicing through my mind
I run away from stormy brine
These tears that fall, I think you know
Have haunted me since long ago
Buried in formaldehyde
These skeletons reflect our inside
The secrets that we made to keep
Take me before I fall asleep
Though you're my fixer and my mess
The walls echo with you less and less
I fear it's not you running from me
I'm forgetting what we used to be
Jul 9, 2015
Jul 9, 2015 at 11:52 AM UTC
The arms of the clock weigh heavy in my conscience
Reminding me of when it used to say
How much time I had left, not how much wasted
I look out to these vibrant skies
Seeing with the colors you gave me
Yet in the corners of the clouds there is grayness
A remnant of who we used to be
Moving on, finding someone else
They all seem to have your smile
And with every time I find love again
It's as if I just found you once more
I remember when you walked out the door
And the street lights shone brightly upon you
And your shadow crawled along the floor to me
To enter my mind, spinning into a memory
Last night I giggled with my new partner
Discussing the future and how we would walk it
And for a moment we settled, gazes meeting halfway
Then I saw the universe in her eyes
I saw you.
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 8:49 PM UTC
cold outside but I'm barely freezing
i'm awake but I keep on dreaming
let me hold your hand, all through the seasons
in lost chaos you are my reason
a smile could light up a room
but in my world yours shines like the moon
you're my north star, guide through the oceans
sweet sorceress let me drink your potions
how could i leave you
when you trap me with every look you do?
how could i walk away
when my heart's glued to every word you say?
i'm keeping your form around me
lost in the artistry of your hair
life's a game meant for partners
i want you to be my pair.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 9:56 AM UTC
My fingers may not know a guitar
And I might never raise the bar
But I'm trying to be the man
That can do all he can
To be with you
I know my heart finds no directions
It can get lost in storms of affection
So I put this song together
So even if in stormy weather
I can sing it and remember
You
Cause you're beautiful even when you deny it
And the night skies in your eyes just seem to cry it
And your hair falls down like waterfalls
Your voice a singing bird with melodic calls
My heart's a kite, and for the night, fly it
Let your scars sing their secrets
I'll be holding you safe from all the threats
And maybe as we walk the beaches
Remembering blessings and curses
We can smile at our perfect messes
And I'll sing to you
You're beautiful even when you deny it
And the night skies in your eyes just seem to cry it
And your hair falls down like waterfalls
Your voice a singing bird with melodic calls
My heart's a kite, and for the night fly it.
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 9:37 PM UTC
My love is large
But not larger than his
My heart is small
But not smaller than his
I live to see the day
When my love will sprout and grow
I hope that one day
You will finally know
Give me some sunshine
Let my love feel your warmth
Give me some rain
Give me another chance to
Feel your heart
Feb 16, 2015
Feb 16, 2015 at 10:42 PM UTC
Life is a piece of music,
a page of poetry
Where the notes are the movements of humanity
Never meant to finish,
but to exist continuously
In the melodramatic, you must find the melody
Like on a piano,
both white and black key
Peace and chaos combine to create the harmony
Your emotions singing as a choir heavenly
While the crashing drums of the present complete the symphony.
But sometimes the rhythm gets too fast
Can't keep up with the pace
Sweat on your face
Frozen in place
No different ways
And you choke as the music continues to play
But that's life I guess
Living is just emotional dying
But let the music play on
Let your singing be your crying
Feb 14, 2015
Feb 14, 2015 at 9:10 AM UTC
A burnt flower never rises from the ashes
The long dead will never wake
You can't save a light after it flashes
So a heart's still broke after heartbreak
They say the more days put in between
The last time that we met
Will somehow create a way of making clean
All these tears I've wept
But months and years can't take a part
Of a heart
That only exists to love.
The beauty held in the stars of your smile
I'd run miles
to see you, angel from above.
They can say time heals about everything,
But trust me, it's all untrue
Time doesn't change a thing
Time just distracts you.
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 8:06 AM UTC
Sticks, stones, no broke bones
Troubles abound like plague but
your arms keep me safe
Dec 3, 2014
Dec 3, 2014 at 7:25 AM UTC
Some read books to remember.
I reached my hand into the familiar darkness that enveloped my backpack,
Slipping my fingers between
yellowed notebooks
and forgotten pencils
to grasp a memory in solid form.
As the leather that enclosed paper portals to the past
Ascended out of the deepest recesses of my dilapidated schoolbag
I couldn’t help but feel a sense of
Home.
The only way I feel that now is through the pages of the journal,
Each alabaster sheet lined with emotional braille for my fingers to explore.
Explore the time when I:
Spilled some juice on my journal during a camp,
the paper wrinkled to attest to it.
Needed spare materials for making my art projects,
the frayed edges of torn paper remain to attest to it.
Had sunk into the deepest cellars of an affection that would never be reciprocated,
the heart-shaped holes in the pages reflecting the holes put in my heart
lingered to attest to it.
I kept reading through the night,
Filling my clock with convivial memories of scintillant days and ethereal nights
Where moments of happiness and peace met like how the ocean washes onto the shore
And before I knew it, the last grains of time streamed through my fingers
And sleep took me into his mellow embrace.
But even in the fortresses of the dream world, evil still slithers to find me
It crawls on its underbelly, sneaking towards my bed high up in the tower
And there, it throws me out the window,
And I plunge into another world.
She is hunched over a paper at the desk,
A smile fills her face as she signs the document.
Dread wracks my heart, and I crumple into a corner to watch it unfold.
I see her rise like a dragon almost slain in battle,
A victorious look adorns her face as she leaves her seat.
Then I burst in.
Little, unaware, nine-year old me.
With tears straight from my soul cascading down my cheek, I ask if I’ll ever see my father again.
Rage replaces triumph as she storms over to me, then strikes me across my face with a typhoon of force.
She screeches “never talk about” before nearly choking on my father’s name.
Little me crumbles into the floor, becoming the rubble that once was a happy child,
While my mother stomps towards an alcohol cabinet that would soon become full of empty bottles.
I, the spectator, shudder heavily in remembrance.
The only thing worse than a nightmare is a memory.
I wake up in my bed, sunbeams gleaming through my curtains.
I reach my hand into the familiar darkness that envelops my backpack,
Slipping my fingers between
yellowed notebooks that are filled with inhumane insults about being an abused kid,
and forgotten pencils that were used to write letters where I bled my troubles onto paper,
to grasp a new book.
As the paperback that enclosed an adventure to a new world,
Where the family of the lead character gave more love than they did punishment,
Switched places with a journal covered in old, worn leather,
I couldn’t help but feel the need to stick my nose right in there and get reading.
Some read books to remember.
Some read books to forget.
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 7:31 AM UTC
Box Office Breaker
I’m sorry if you’ll be hurt with what’s up my sleeve
But HBO lied, Universal deceived.
From adults swearing to ****** useless quarrels
Not every great movie comes with great morals
Whether they’re vile or full of wonder
All movie characters seem to end six feet under.
Lives blown away like husks in the wind,
People **** anyone of any variety
Is this really the direction of our society?
Death is the end, but it’s just the beginning
‘Cause movies approve other methods of sinning.
Whiskey bottles are emptied, and smoking gives class
Teens can kiss as they please, and it’s great to have sass
How are we desensitized to people being killed?
How much more death is needed until our satisfaction is filled?
How can we live when our integrity’s sent to slaughter?
How can we breathe if we’re drowning in sin’s waters?
In a world where we need to love what’s right
Our faith is assaulted, yet, do we put up a fight?
We watch as the world venomously mocks our statutes.
We may be called to stand, but not stand like statues.
If you think this is just a battle that shouldn’t be fought
Just look at all the chaos these dogmas have wrought
I’m sure there wouldn’t have been any school shooting
If the cameras at action films hadn’t been shooting
Let’s try to clear the cinemas for the approaching era
For how can a young child follow God if no one does on camera?
We are losing this war,
Satan marches with his crew
How can our hearts and minds survive
When the defenders are so few?
We can rise up in arms if we rise up in words and actions
Keep battling through the trenches of violent reactions
With God in our hearts, and the Bible in our hands
The Holy Spirit will energize us as we purify the lands
Don’t do it for the fame, don’t try to take the honors
Be humble in your victories, and God will give heaven’s Oscars.
Be a Christian who shapes as he is shaped, be an earth shaker.
Do it all in the name of Jesus, be a box office breaker.
Oct 10, 2014
Oct 10, 2014 at 8:13 PM UTC