Any closer and I will run, but now you know that
You know I am afraid of closeness because the fear that you might leave.
Pushing away and it lessens the blow when you leave, at least that is what I thought.
You wont leave, that is what you told me, even if I try to
You stay, even after I told you I may not
You stay, but not only do you stay, you help
You told me "we" can figure out a way to battle the shadows that haunt me
This time I'm not alone.
May 16
May 16, 2026 at 2:28 PM UTC
Both heart and mind, they have their own song
One is a rushing river, and one is a pond
They have their differences but they too are alike
They both feel shattered its not something I like
One seeks love and the other seeks solitude
One seeks their lover and the other seeks another
A part of me is hurt we can not be
But a part of me is free, free like a bee
What may I be free from, you must wonder?
I'm free from a feeling like lightning after thunder.
No it is not love, but it's a horrible feeling
It’s like a raging storm crashing at your stomach
It's like a claw, tearing out your heart
It's like waves crashing at your bones
It’s like acid inside your blood, boiling every living thing.
But that feeling is free, but now I am alone
We have split not because our love is gone
We have split because of a monster that I wish never had spawn
We have split because I am confused of my feelings
Both heart and mind at war
My mind has won and my heart has withdrawn
My undying love for you will never fade away
It will be within me until my dying day
You might be different and tuck it within
But I am not like that and I keep it on top of my skin
Yes it was my choice to end our story
But you can find another to continue your glory
Me on the other hand shall write about my sorrows
Maybe it was for the better or maybe it will drive me insane
Our love can not be
You can now be set free
Or maybe it was I that needed to flee
It was never you who was the problem
It was I and my thoughts
My thoughts have confused me
Confused me with my heart
My thoughts have confused me, and tore us apart
I wish our love could be
I wish we could have a fairytale ending
But these thoughts that shouldn't be
Will drive us apart can’t you see
Your beauty and you
Is to good for someone like me
Find someone who deserves you
And can be with you all the way through
Find someone wise who can understand you best
Find someone handsome or beautiful who isn’t depressed
Find someone fun who can take you on adventures
and find someone who loves you for you, it doesn't matter about genders
I want you to know my heart is full of misery
I love you from the tip of your head to the end of your toes.
Your like a beautiful painting or a peaceful melody
When I see you with another I’m full of jealousy
If I was still with you we would be kissing under the moonlight
But I am not, instead I’m alone on this cold night
We can not be
I'll let you be free
Just know it is me
Who was your first we
May 15
May 15, 2026 at 1:06 PM UTC
Walking to my final spot I see the flowers waiting for my aid
I lie down on the yellow tulips and watch the sunset fade
I remember what I came here for, i'll say one last prayer
It slowly crawls onto my chest and silence is in the air
My blood soaks into the ground where the flowers lay
I clear my mind and let one thought stay
That thought is not of my loved ones
But it’s of the sky and flowers
The red flowers beneath me
And the red sky up above
My dying breath is near
I have not a single tear
The beautiful end
Sorry my friend
Goodbye I cry
Oh, pretty sky
Goodbye
May 15
May 15, 2026 at 1:05 PM UTC
A joke into something real
Laughter replaced with a shallow breath
The rush of adrenaline, the hits of dopamine
I get it all from you, I am out of control
What am I doing, what are WE doing
Texting every day from the sun sets until rising
I cant go about my day without you there
You invade my head, but I want more
I don't push you away, I can't even if I have tried
I try.
I try and push you away to save you from myself
You don't know me, I am the silent cool breeze in the middle of the night
What I feel, is a fight or flight response, and I take flight
I have told you of my habits, to disappear in that night time
silently like the wind that comes and goes in the blink of an eye
But yet you stay, you embrace the breeze and let it wash over you
I have been given a chance, a possible hope that I can't let go
I need you to take that hope from me so I can escape the inevitable fate that awaits us both
The fate of failure, of chaos and end.
Apr 23
Apr 23, 2026 at 8:21 PM UTC
I only know you through someone else
See you only through photographs on my screen
Yet I loathe you every time you appear
I don’t know who you are, I never met you
You probably are kind, and I am greed
I envy your talent, your skill, your likability
Most of all I envy that you are with her, stealing my place
I should be there with her, not you
I’ll just remain an alias on the screen, I’ll remain hidden through the glass
Jan 12
Jan 12, 2026 at 4:01 AM UTC
When I grow old I want to live far away from civilization and the troubles of the world, so the rural side of Switzerland sounds like the perfect place. I have only seen photos of Switzerland so my idea of it is more fantasized. Imagine a small cottage, maybe single story, maybe double, on a hill looking over a field of flowers, a river in the distance with mountains sheltering this little valley. Watching the sun set from your porch and the stars rise. This is what I’ve always told myself I wanted, it’s unrealistic but who knows what life holds. An old friend of mine said we would live in that fantasized world and make a living from a flower shop that also sold our paintings. Since we've cut contact, I’ve come to think that solitary life seems just as relaxing. I can imagine myself alone on a canoe fishing with no one to bother me. Hopefully I win the lottery.
Jan 9
Jan 9, 2026 at 4:39 PM UTC
The best place I have ever gone isn't because of the place itself but who I was with. A summer spent in a field on freshly mowed grass with a piercing sun strong enough to put even the kindest of saints in a foul mood. There I was with a friend of mine, I only met them that summer but it felt like we have known each other for a lifetime. No one was around, except for an occasional wandering person. We would spend our time laying in the grass under an old oak tree, much older and wiser than ourselves. I remember the sounds of the waves softly lapping on the sandy beach beside us. The singing of the morning doves nearby, the menacing crows cawing in the distance. I especially remember the loud and nostalgic buzzing cicadas that wrapped around my ears in an almost comforting headache. When everyone else was sleeping in their own beds, we would be on the beach underneath the stars staring down at us. The stars were brighter there, the lack of light pollution gave the sky more clarity. It was colder down at the beach rather than the scorching sun in the field of grass. When the summer came to an end, my friend moved away and we never met again.
Jan 9
Jan 9, 2026 at 4:39 PM UTC
Getting so close to you like it's too good to be true
Midnight texts, making future promises
Something is bound to go wrong with me and you
I need to pull back before you're caught in the crossfire
Midnight texts, cutting off our future
I saved us from a toxic storm that would **** us both
Jan 4
Jan 4, 2026 at 4:19 PM UTC
Thought I had it all planned out, you and I
Get married young, move to the countryside
Lay in the fields of grass staring at the garden we designed
You and I both shared that dream, but for me it was my reality
I saw my future with you, but you saw it with someone else
Thought I had it all planned out, guess it was just a fairytale to you
Dec 29, 2025
Dec 29, 2025 at 3:18 PM UTC
bleh...blehhhh
blll ehh
hhhhhh
hh hhh
ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Dec 10, 2025
Dec 10, 2025 at 8:22 PM UTC