warren-1 - Hello Poetry

I cannot break these chains that bind me, No more can I see past these walls that blind me, I don’t know who I’m supposed to be, I’ve no idea how to be me. Am I broken, Beyond repair, No one see’s me so no one care’s, I keep the pain buried deep, Only letting it out when your all asleep. I know there’s so much that I’m destined to do, Things I start but don’t see through, Something pulls but I don’t know to where, If I don’t know whats lost, Why do I care, I feel empty but for the love of my own, My scars are so hard they’ve turned to bone, My mask so supple that you’ll never see, The truth of what is really me. Am I broken, Beyond repair, No one see’s me so no one care’s, I keep the pain buried deep, Only letting it out when your all asleep. Time is ticking, My fear grows strong, Somethings not right but I don’t know what’s wrong, I’m falling but no one can hear me cry, I’m scared that what’s pulling, Is my time to die, I’m scared that I’ve not understood why I’m here, I’m running out of time and filling with fear, I want to live but can’t live this lie , To survive this maybe I have to die. Maybe there’s more than what we know, What if to stay I have to go, What if these words are the last I’ll write, As I pass my troubled soul into the night.

0

Sep 15, 2024

Sep 15, 2024 at 9:23 PM UTC

Beyond Repair

I cannot break these chains that bind me, No more can I see past these walls that blind me, I don’t know who I’m supposed to be, I’ve no idea how to be me. Am I broken, Beyond repair, No one see’s me so no one care’s, I keep the pain buried deep, Only letting it out when your all asleep. I know there’s so much that I’m destined to do, Things I start but don’t see through, Something pulls but I don’t know to where, If I don’t know whats lost, Why do I care, I feel empty but for the love of my own, My scars are so hard they’ve turned to bone, My mask so supple that you’ll never see, The truth of what is really me. Am I broken, Beyond repair, No one see’s me so no one care’s, I keep the pain buried deep, Only letting it out when your all asleep. Time is ticking, My fear grows strong, Somethings not right but I don’t know what’s wrong, I’m falling but no one can hear me cry, I’m scared that what’s pulling, Is my time to die, I’m scared that I’ve not understood why I’m here, I’m running out of time and filling with fear, I want to live but can’t live this lie , To survive this maybe I have to die. Maybe there’s more than what we know, What if to stay I have to go, What if these words are the last I’ll write, As I pass my troubled soul into the night.

37

Blemishes on petaled thoughts, Shadowed whispers press my eyes, Balancing my expectations In a poppy field of denial. Is fate really the inevitable gamble - Or am I just a thought - floating in the ripples of uncertainty.

0

Feb 18, 2021

Feb 18, 2021 at 3:09 PM UTC

Truth

Blemishes on petaled thoughts, Shadowed whispers press my eyes, Balancing my expectations In a poppy field of denial. Is fate really the inevitable gamble - Or am I just a thought - floating in the ripples of uncertainty.

7

I’m so tired of who I am, This isn’t how my life should be, The man I feared becoming has finally become me, The woman that took my breath away, Now makes me hold my breath in terror, I don’t think I can carry on, If this is my forever.

0

May 10, 2020

May 10, 2020 at 7:43 AM UTC

The death of love

I’m so tired of who I am, This isn’t how my life should be, The man I feared becoming has finally become me, The woman that took my breath away, Now makes me hold my breath in terror, I don’t think I can carry on, If this is my forever.

7

I have a darkness, A quiet stealthy darkness, That resides in the cracks of my soul. Effortlessly it laces my dreams with its twisted whispers, It takes sustenance from my values and sharpens it’s teeth on my faith. Little by little I tempt it out when the world displeases me, Almost threatening to unleash it as my righteous damnation, But to free my darkness would be to lose myself, And I’m not sure I would ever comeback. So we dance this sickly jig in the shadows of my mind. Toying with the temptation of power, Often you can hear me mutter to myself, Mumbling in a trance, Reliving what’s happened only this time letting my darkness form the reply, If you listen closely you will hear the hatred dripping from my lips with every word, The blackness burning behind my eyes, Seeing the wrong in everything around me, My mind fills with grotesque manifestations of torture and demise, Blood dripping from my gnarled fingers, The very earth beneath my feet scorched in disgust. This is when my darkness finds its place, Comes alive, Makes me feel more than I’ve ever felt, Makes me yearn for death and destruction, It’s intoxicating, I want to let it course through my veins and consume me, The temptation becomes almost unbearable, Until something jerks me back to reality, A question, A voice ..... Are you okay, you were mumbling ? Am I ok ...... I don’t know, Am I, The darkness retracts, Replaced by an emptiness. Feelings instead of the fight, And I’m always left with the same thought, Am I really holding in the darkness, Or is it the darkness that’s holding in me ?

0

May 10, 2020

May 10, 2020 at 7:42 AM UTC

Inside Out

I have a darkness, A quiet stealthy darkness, That resides in the cracks of my soul. Effortlessly it laces my dreams with its twisted whispers, It takes sustenance from my values and sharpens it’s teeth on my faith. Little by little I tempt it out when the world displeases me, Almost threatening to unleash it as my righteous damnation, But to free my darkness would be to lose myself, And I’m not sure I would ever comeback. So we dance this sickly jig in the shadows of my mind. Toying with the temptation of power, Often you can hear me mutter to myself, Mumbling in a trance, Reliving what’s happened only this time letting my darkness form the reply, If you listen closely you will hear the hatred dripping from my lips with every word, The blackness burning behind my eyes, Seeing the wrong in everything around me, My mind fills with grotesque manifestations of torture and demise, Blood dripping from my gnarled fingers, The very earth beneath my feet scorched in disgust. This is when my darkness finds its place, Comes alive, Makes me feel more than I’ve ever felt, Makes me yearn for death and destruction, It’s intoxicating, I want to let it course through my veins and consume me, The temptation becomes almost unbearable, Until something jerks me back to reality, A question, A voice ..... Are you okay, you were mumbling ? Am I ok ...... I don’t know, Am I, The darkness retracts, Replaced by an emptiness. Feelings instead of the fight, And I’m always left with the same thought, Am I really holding in the darkness, Or is it the darkness that’s holding in me ?

40

I never knew I needed you, And now I’m lost without you..

0

Jan 30, 2020

Jan 30, 2020 at 4:16 AM UTC

Heartbroken

I never knew I needed you, And now I’m lost without you..

3

My envy is racked with guilt, Because it’s you that’s suffers, But me that feels the pain. In your mind everything is as it should be, You have no idea of the reality you live in. As the drool hangs from your chin, You feel nothing but happiness, Your body slowly tires and fails, Yet you relive your fondest memories, Your happiest times, All the while I hurt, I love you, I do, But I sit and stare at you - Hour after hour, Envious at the paradise you’ve escaped to, Hating myself for feeling this jealousy, Blaming you for the loss of the life I had. As my hours turn to days, Weeks turn to months. Feeding you, Bathing you, Hating you, Loving you, Missing you, Wanting you, I wear the guilt of my selfishness, Like sunburned skin. Wishing at times you would finally go, Dreading the day you leave, When they first told me you had dementia, I knew it was only a matter of time, But I never knew the true cost of its toll. I tell myself that it must be part of the balance, That we are tipping the scales back for all the wonders that we’ve lived, Otherwise I couldn’t justify this existence. I’m glad you’ll never get to read these words, Not that you’d remember them if you did, Because no matter how I feel, I will gladly pay the price for all your wonders, Because i love you, And in some small way, I know it could be me one day.

0

Jan 26, 2020

Jan 26, 2020 at 12:03 PM UTC

Paying it forward (Caring for dementia)

My envy is racked with guilt, Because it’s you that’s suffers, But me that feels the pain. In your mind everything is as it should be, You have no idea of the reality you live in. As the drool hangs from your chin, You feel nothing but happiness, Your body slowly tires and fails, Yet you relive your fondest memories, Your happiest times, All the while I hurt, I love you, I do, But I sit and stare at you - Hour after hour, Envious at the paradise you’ve escaped to, Hating myself for feeling this jealousy, Blaming you for the loss of the life I had. As my hours turn to days, Weeks turn to months. Feeding you, Bathing you, Hating you, Loving you, Missing you, Wanting you, I wear the guilt of my selfishness, Like sunburned skin. Wishing at times you would finally go, Dreading the day you leave, When they first told me you had dementia, I knew it was only a matter of time, But I never knew the true cost of its toll. I tell myself that it must be part of the balance, That we are tipping the scales back for all the wonders that we’ve lived, Otherwise I couldn’t justify this existence. I’m glad you’ll never get to read these words, Not that you’d remember them if you did, Because no matter how I feel, I will gladly pay the price for all your wonders, Because i love you, And in some small way, I know it could be me one day.

43

I fear my thoughts are mere illusions, Confusions, Someone else’s conclusions.

0

Jan 26, 2020

Jan 26, 2020 at 7:09 AM UTC

The over thinker

I fear my thoughts are mere illusions, Confusions, Someone else’s conclusions.

3

Count your blessings, Say a prayer, Spit out one and all, Your one of the survivors where so many others fall.

0

Jan 4, 2020

Jan 4, 2020 at 8:25 AM UTC

Rejoice

Count your blessings, Say a prayer, Spit out one and all, Your one of the survivors where so many others fall.

4

I am a prison without locks, Searching indefinitely for that which you are yet to know you need. The past doesn’t help you, And the future won’t hold you, There is no combination, Or cute illustration, Words barely justify my existence, Yet you still yearn for me, For I thrive in your name, I am elusive, From the start to the end, Too much or too little too late, You carve my reputation into morsels of greed, But to know me you must allow me to be freed, I am exactly that which you need me to be, Whilst destroying your world with the thought of my presence.

0

Jan 4, 2020

Jan 4, 2020 at 8:23 AM UTC

Desire

I am a prison without locks, Searching indefinitely for that which you are yet to know you need. The past doesn’t help you, And the future won’t hold you, There is no combination, Or cute illustration, Words barely justify my existence, Yet you still yearn for me, For I thrive in your name, I am elusive, From the start to the end, Too much or too little too late, You carve my reputation into morsels of greed, But to know me you must allow me to be freed, I am exactly that which you need me to be, Whilst destroying your world with the thought of my presence.

16

Tomorrows tears are echoes, Tip toeing through yesterday’s fears, Fragmented in our dreams. You must stand strong in your defiance. Make a choice, Slay your demons for the right reasons, To free yourself from your past. Let the monkey on your back be cast, So much is still to come, Eyes lost in the forests depth, Look up and see the sun shining down through the trees, It’s not anything around you that requires change, But a change in your outlook that’s required. Fill your lungs and strengthen your heart, Look back on the old you as the new you departs.

0

Dec 16, 2019

Dec 16, 2019 at 6:36 AM UTC

Metamorphosis

Tomorrows tears are echoes, Tip toeing through yesterday’s fears, Fragmented in our dreams. You must stand strong in your defiance. Make a choice, Slay your demons for the right reasons, To free yourself from your past. Let the monkey on your back be cast, So much is still to come, Eyes lost in the forests depth, Look up and see the sun shining down through the trees, It’s not anything around you that requires change, But a change in your outlook that’s required. Fill your lungs and strengthen your heart, Look back on the old you as the new you departs.

15