my colours have become muddy, confused and foul
but now it is our song that winds will howl
creation of yet another distance between you and i
on my journey drowning as you stay high
little by little, lost the sparkle that you devour,
and hopes became frail like a sick little flower
hollow, even meaning has lost its meaning
with me i carry sweets such as love-lies-bleeding
from earth not a sight, not a soul, not a beam
can reach to the depth of my misty dream
now embraced by the waves and foam, i sink
petals escape my fingertips, bleeding and pink
you, dearest colour-eating, joy-sucking vampire
forsaken, yet my yearning for you is always dire
even once sweet promises became bitter poison
sunken, my eyelids and heart grew heavy as iron
lilies stay afloat and your light can't reach to me
tongue-tied, lips-shut, no more letting a single plea
my tears now accompanied by freshwater pearls
from my chest to the surface one last daisy swirls
Aug 1, 2022
Aug 1, 2022 at 7:36 PM UTC
pain fills me up
from my stomach to my skull
souffrance come une smoke
thick and bleak and black
or like food, not nutritious
yet quite poison-like
une illusion, ou pas?
pain fills me up
untill i choke and burst
throat shut, eyes burning
something that's not welcome
tu es disparu mais pas de moi
en restant comme une partie d'âme
unable to chase, unwilling to leave
pain fills me up
ressemblant à le lierre
ou le squelette de moi-même
this time solid and trapping
a cage borne into my flesh
neither locks nor keys
maybe a welcome addiction
love, now c'est une illusion
une image que j'ai fait de toi
maybe just out of nostalgia
you had all the time to come
i had all the time to heal
yet the pain fills me up
from the cracks you left
Jul 9, 2022
Jul 9, 2022 at 7:20 PM UTC
brain is a strange little place
a real mess of barbed wires and dead ends
a set of connections my mind threads
they all have a tint of you
something that i cannot erase
the weight of memories
that i have to carry myself alone
within my being like chains sewn
they all have a taint of you
as you forget and enjoy the ease
contaminated and consumed by you
but do you ever remember me, too?
Jun 12, 2022
Jun 12, 2022 at 1:59 PM UTC
Has my skull ever really been a home to you?
Or was it too cold, too surreal?
You weren't complete, neither were my masterpieces.
I couldn't kidnap enough of you.
It was more of a cage than a home,
an utopia for me nevertheless, mine alone.
Hours upon hours I've spended on you.
An addiction, art, or my fall?
Aug 31, 2019
Aug 31, 2019 at 7:02 PM UTC
We all have favorites
there is no use in denying that.
It is simple.
Yet I can't put my finger on why
or how you've grown to be mine
favorite...obsession?
Why do you visit me so often
in the dreams I'm afraid to dream?
You don't do that in real life.
No problem, you don't have to
this is the way it should be.
There is nothing I want from you.
But I want to wipe that idiotic smile
out of my face when our eyes meet.
It is not simple.
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 10:16 AM UTC
sweetest dream,
masterpiece of mine
that I live to perfect,
to sculpt, to polish.
sweetest dream,
masterpiece of mine
that would make Calliope cry,
we aren't her fault, are we?
sweetest dream,
masterpiece of mine
that is a heretical creation,
a compilation of lies.
sweetest drug,
******* of mine
that lulls me into life,
we snuggle with my defeat.
Feb 7, 2019
Feb 7, 2019 at 4:51 AM UTC
isn't it so painfully obvious
that's an illusion which your
wicked mind presents you
in a dish of fake hopes, on
a bed of lies, garnished with
lost time and impossibilities
and you, the misery-loving
****** devour it everytime
with your endless appetite
as you did countless times
before and you doubtlessly
will do a countless times
again and again and again
yet every single time, it will
be you, the misery-loving
****** whose eyes are
full of tears that are induced
by an agonizing, unforgiving
yet familiar ache placed in
your stomache as all you've
eaten was the emptiness of
cold, acrid reality?
Feb 2, 2019
Feb 2, 2019 at 6:10 AM UTC
It's me who should know better
It's me who should make the sacrifice
It's me who should be strong
when others won't.
for what?
When did I get so used to
burn every inch of myself out
for acception and love
that no one grants me?
for what?
It's me who knows better
It's me who makes the sacrifice
It's me who is strong
as it's the only choice
for what?
When did it get so hard not to
wear everything on my sleeve
as opposed to hide them so
I won't be noticed?
for what?
It's me who is the fool
It's me who is the attention-seeker
It's me who is the weakling
still painfully invisible.
no reason, no consequence
no beginning, no end
after all, I'm the girl who can't hurt herself
who can't heal herself
who can neither exist nor perish.
It's me who is the utmost liar
no savior, no captor
no one, no one, no one.
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 12:25 PM UTC
You know you have no place among them.
They fit and form a breathtaking picture
like pieces of a puzzle.
Your edges are odd as they've always been.
But you aren’t a part of that picture
you can’t be a part of that picture.
Your edges are odd, you don’t fit.
There are so many people
there are so many pictures.
Your edges are odd and that's not required.
They don’t need or want your presence
maybe they aren't even aware of it.
Your edges are odd, it's not a blessing.
Too abstract, too fluid
the textbook definition of "nuisance".
You know you have no place among them.
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019 at 4:46 PM UTC
Hello, I'm Vinca
you are not going to like me
and I will hate myself
so please, **** off.
(actually, please, stay.)
Hello, I'm Vinca
I'm insecure, clingy, needy
yeah, a recipe for disaster
you have to save yourself.
(actually, please, stay.)
Hello, I'm Vinca
someone hasn't grown into
the girl her mother wished for
I understand your reason.
(actually, please, stay.)
Hello, I'm Vinca
not that I wished to
be Vinca
can you blame me, though?
I know, you won't stay.
I wouldn't stay either.
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019 at 5:41 AM UTC