Frank still makes me sad,
I think about all the dreams we had,
Chilling and smoking at the crib,
I don't know the last time I smiled like that.
Even when it got bad,
You were the only one I ever wanted,
Your side of the bed is still empty,
Has me turned around and
Thinkin bout all the things I did wrong.
And you were my man, yeah,
I mistrusted and I know,
You finally let go, and so,
I'm just still right here,
Thinkin bout all the things I did wrong.
Just thinking bout,
Maybe one day you'll see this,
Read this, Talk to me,
If not, I love you and
I'm thinkin bout all the things I did wrong
Yeah, All those stupid things.
I'm sorry.
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 2:58 AM UTC
when did it become like this?
too scared to let you go,
hanging on every kiss,
like it may be my last good bye.
i scan your beautiful face,
and taste your sacred lips,
and wonder why,
why have i done this to you?
my eyes burn,
and my throat is dry,
and the smell of ***** lingers,
stinging and cutting my strings.
in the dead of night i weep,
it the light of day i cry,
no comfort shall be brought,
i will have wasted no time.
for i never deserved that chance,
when in the early throws of october,
looked into your eyes,
and saw love staring back.
staring back.
and i still have absolutely no clue-
of what you saw.
May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 8:17 PM UTC
It's like some old rap song.
left me wondering when you might be back,
that person that used to be,
he's gone and all that's left-
is some sewed together parts of a sac.
it used to be you wanted help,
you wanted to tell me of your love,
where you cared of your friends,
family, and me.
you know it was not me who made you this way.
i didn't chose your choices,
i didn't speak your words,
i didn't walk the path of the self righteous.
But i do remember walking beside you,
reading the wonderful words you used to write,
enjoying all your kisses and hugs,
feeling so happy every time i saw you smile,
and how much i looked up to you.
That two days apart would be too much,
and a thousand years together was never enough...
I remember who you were,
i know who you are,
and all i'm left with is one question.
Where'd you go....
Oct 1, 2013
Oct 1, 2013 at 8:06 PM UTC
i seem to always be fighting,
rushing,
tweaking,
worrying about it all,
blaring deafening music,
weeping tears of joy,
hollow sorrows,
grief most of all,
moments lost,
and destinations found.
long and short stories untold,
the wind in my hair,
the rumble of the thunder,
journeys that never reached an end,
rivers,
the ocean,
and beautifully scattered out trees.
my first real kiss,
hot,
sticky,
restless moments of love,
and of silence,
lonesome and tireless,
alone.
oncoming head lights,
troublesome sirens,
and my head is a mess,
angst,
anxiety,
and dreaming bigger dreams,
whispers of the future,
and memories of the past.
oh i've felt the cold sting of winter,
the withering heat of summer,
watched all my dreams come true,
and crumble,
just from my life inside my car.
Sep 3, 2013
Sep 3, 2013 at 12:36 AM UTC
Chills run up my spine as the spring air cools. I notice the sky behind me. Thunderclouds clash and lightning strikes at a distance.
The storm is coming.
There are blurred faces everywhere, in a rush to get to safety. As the storm's fury would take their lives if they were to be trapped. But I do not fear the tempest. I hear it calling to me, as if to lure me into its eminent danger.
The storm moves closer.
As if to intimidate me, the clouds taunt me with their peril, and the salty rain fills my eyes. The thunder is deafening. The downpour soaks my shoes, running off my coat in the middle of the gale.
The storm is all around me.
Black thunderheads above me, the lightning strikes. The illumination casts shadows in the sky, a perfect silhouette.
The storm is beautiful.
The storm moves on, the sun pierces the clouds, and a silver lining of discomfort and insecurity enter the void in my soul.
The storm is my comfort.
Aug 30, 2013
Aug 30, 2013 at 12:00 AM UTC
As I sit a puff on a cigarette,
I remember once a clarifying dream-
Of finding my way when lost.
A journey of wonder and choices,
But a day like today-
when I ponder,
I cant help but seeing it different.
Of no lights when I reach the end,
No hand to hold-
When I reach a bend in the road.
Of a haunting darkness,
To which no God can illuminate.
The curve of an eyelash,
the accelerated beating of a heart,
the aching in my soul-
that makes me wonder if any of it is real.
Or gasping for air-
Under the crushing blows of the waves,
Feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.
For once I dreamt and felt,
but now I only wreak of panic,
and blind messes.
Aug 29, 2013
Aug 29, 2013 at 10:53 PM UTC
In silence I hear it clearly,
and I know what it brings.
The heart stinging reality-
that maybe its not him...
It's me.
Feb 8, 2013
Feb 8, 2013 at 2:28 PM UTC
When hearing clicks of remotes,
Cell phone buttons, and car doors.
Rolling jays all afternoon,
Listening to songs by Frank Ocean.
Laughing and when I'm happy,
The taste of sugar in my coffee.
Drunk on Captain Morgan,
And when I'm home alone at night.
Familiar smells, and on rainy days,
And when I feel scared.
In my dreams, on every page,
When I love.
No matter where I am,
or how I feel.
These are some moments when,
You know...
Jan 28, 2013
Jan 28, 2013 at 2:59 AM UTC
a young rainforest has yet to know of the world
the harsh reality of mistrust, humiliation, and disappointment
but maybe thats the charm of it all
trees strung about in a wild fun mess of branches
smells of flowers and mildewy ferns on the floors
welcomes me to close my eyes and be comfortable
every little detail has its own story to tell
every little creature a character of its own
in between the plants it whispers to me
songs and tales of the forest's past, present, and future
the surface of it so bright and colorful
and the bottom so dark and wonderfully cool
for each drop of rain that falls feels warm against the skin
embracing me as one of its own
not knowing of what I have seen and felt before.
But that does not matter,
for the rainforest is handsome, compelling, and full of surprises,
it takes when it can and gives even more-
optimism that everything is alright,
that when I am in such a beautiful place,
there is no reason to worry-
in truly heartbreaking silence,
I think to myself-
I hope I never have to leave.
Jan 11, 2013
Jan 11, 2013 at 2:54 AM UTC
Tonight,
I kick and I scream for him,
He yanks my hair-
Bruises my young face-
My womb defiled-
By an unknown intruder,
And tears silently streak-
My nameless face.
For sometime later -
In the darkness,
I dreamt of his ***** hands-
Touching and feeling me,
And his grimy fingernails-
Scraping at the inside of my eyelids.
Yet the dream has yet to end.
For I lay here,
Comfortably asleep-
With his arms around me-
Hot sweet breath on my neck,
And I know he is to be-
There when I wake,
He always is-
And will be forever.
But I will stand
For love not hate-
And my strength not faint-
Will be seen so on-
From this night.
Dec 23, 2012
Dec 23, 2012 at 4:00 AM UTC