Midlife Crisis
We have all heard the expression
Don't lose your head over a piece of tail.
Some have not experienced it yet,
Some of us know it all too well.
That giddy feeling when you have
caught someone's eye.
You go around with a smile on your face
And only you know why.
You want to shout about it
From the rooftops.
Midlife crisis stories are made from this galore,
Because you have been able to feel that spark
That reminds you of your youth once more.
You feel young and alive
Maybe for the last time in life.
You throw away the old for the new
Your old life, your children,
Your husband or your wife.
That last chance of feeling
That flutter in your heart.
It's like a drug
And you were hooked from the start.
Sometimes when it looks, sounds and feels
Too good to be true,
You will turn around one day
And realize you were just being used.
You threw everything that
you were sure of away.
To feel young again
But it only lasted a day.
No more smiles, no more flutters,
No one there when you get home.
You caused all that heartache
And now you are alone.
You succumbed to temptation.
Oh, if you only knew
That on down the road,
You would be the one who got *******
Sep 27, 2023
Sep 27, 2023 at 4:15 AM UTC
PESSIMISTIC/REALISTIC LESSONS IN LIFE
1. Don’t trust anyone.
2. Be smart! Make decisions with your head - don’t listen
to your heart.
3. Being loyal to someone will usually get you **** on.
4. Always try to figure out their hidden agenda.
5. Don’t let anyone know your weaknesses – they will use
them against you.
6. Words are cheap – actions speak louder than words.
7. Always trust your gut feeling or first instinct – it’s there
to protect you.
8. If it sounds too good to be true – it usually is.
9. Don’t let your guard down – not even for a minute.
10. If you run into someone who you think needs saving –
save yourself and run away.
11. Try to make peace with the past so it won’t ***** up
the present.
12. Never make someone your priority when all you are to
them is an option – love yourself first.
13. What screws us up most in life is the picture in our
head of how we think it is supposed to be. Keep it
real!
14. There is nothing wrong with letting yourself cry – it’s
cathartic.
15. Never sacrifice your class to get even with someone
who has none. Let them have the gutter – always take
the high road.
16. Be strong enough to let go and patient enough to wait
for what you deserve.
17. Above all else – always try to maintain your
independence, self-respect and dignity.
18. You don’t have to be with someone to feel complete –
learn how to complete yourself.
19. What goes around comes around – karma will always
find you and she’s a ruthless *****
20. Try to find enjoyment in each day God has given you!
Dec 8, 2020
Dec 8, 2020 at 6:40 AM UTC
The One
She was the one who had been there
Regardless of all the **** you put her through.
When all those other ******* faded away,
She was the one who still stood by you.
She was the one who you mistreated, disrespected
And **** on in every way.
Whenever it looked like she was getting closer,
You made sure to push her away.
You are a player, always have been,
That is how you roll.
You never cared about breakin’ a bitch’s heart
Their tears always left you cold.
But there was always that one *****
Who tried to see the good in you.
She was the one who told you that you were worth loving,
No matter what terrible **** she knows you do.
She was the one who you could be with for hours,
Like hanging with a good friend.
She was the one who did not try to use you
Or want any of your money to spend.
Sometimes, you had a battle of wits.
She was the one who knew you well.
She was not one of those dumb *******
Who believed any lie you would tell.
She was the one you could count on
No matter what **** you were in.
She was the one who would stick by you.
She was the one who you could call a true friend.
When you were inside, you took advantage of her good nature.
She was the one you used and played all the time.
She was the one you called to ask for help
Because you knew she was the one who would give her last dime.
If you are fortunate enough to find someone like this
You better thank your lucky stars up above.
Be sure to treat this one the right way.
Do not reject her love.
Now he says, "It took me a long time to realize
Just how blessed I really am.
So my advice to you is 'Don’t push a loyal woman
To the point where she just don’t give a damn.'”
Nov 26, 2020
Nov 26, 2020 at 12:43 AM UTC
Forever Friends
We have been in each other’s lives
for almost forty years.
During that time, there have been
lots of laughter and many tears.
I can honestly say that you are
one of my oldest and dearest friends.
I guess time softens all of the past hurt
and the heart learns how to mend.
It appears you have finally conquered
most of the demons from within.
The ones who had possessed the man
to whom I was married back then.
For a while, I had a great deal of resentment
where our marriage was concerned.
However, as I have grown older, I realize
that it was all just lessons learned.
That we have stayed friends all these years
is truly a miracle indeed.
I know that we will be there for each other
if one of us is ever in need.
People have said we are soulmates
and this I believe is true.
Because from the first moment that we met,
I have felt a connection to you.
I want you to know that I am glad
we have found each other in this life
and that I have no regrets of the (time) years
when we were husband and wife.
Vicki Cheek
06/30/2018
Jul 4, 2018
Jul 4, 2018 at 5:51 AM UTC
Locked
She gave him the key to her house
In addition, he had the key to her heart.
He used the first one often
However, the second he always left locked.
There is a saying that is well known,
“Don’t lose your head over a piece of tail”.
She used to make fun of this expression
Except now, she knows it all too well.
He played her like a fine-tuned piano
With disrespect and humiliation galore.
He told her that she was his soulmate
Although in truth, she was just his little *****
To make someone feel better people will often say
There is a reason for everything.
The only lesson she learned from the experience
Is that she never wanted to hurt like that ever again.
So forever locked her heart will stay
For he never returned the key.
He has moved on to his next victim.
She wonders, “Is he finally done with me?”
Nov 27, 2016
Nov 27, 2016 at 9:53 PM UTC
Ronnie
You once made me feel as if I were the most important
person in your life.
When we broke up and you refused to speak to me,
it cut me like a knife.
Although you were the only man who ever treated
me like a queen,
Circumstances somewhere along the way changed
and were not what they seemed.
When we split up, I swore that I would never
come back around.
I said that I would not be like the other exes that
you had scattered throughout town.
However, as I get older, I realize that true love
can come in many different forms.
What else could explain this affection
after all of these years and all of life’s storms?
I know that we will never live together
as husband and wife,
Still, my heart would break all the same
if you ceased to be in my life.
You have been a constant in my life;
I feel safe because I know you are there.
You are my beacon of light and my rock
through any darkness or despair.
I am so grateful to God for blessing you
with such a big heart
I am glad that you are so compassionate,
caring, considerate and smart.
This poem is to express my feelings to you
for all that I cannot say.
You are more important to me than you could possibly know
and I will love you until my dying day.
Nov 27, 2016
Nov 27, 2016 at 9:51 PM UTC
Nov. 2, 2016
Bandita
I MISS MY DOG!!
I miss you, Bandita, so much!!
It has only been a week and the pain is still at the “hard-to-breathe” stage. I hate walking into this house. You are not here to greet me at the door. Your absence is so palpable. This house is just not the same with you gone. It feels as if the life has been ****** out of this house. It is silent and does not even seem like a home anymore just a place where I come to sleep.
When I drive up to the house and pull into the driveway, I sit in the car and start sobbing – dreading to go inside. I get out of the car slowly and reluctantly. When I get to the front porch steps, I am still crying and my pace starts getting slower and slower. I look up at the front door just dreading to go in. When I finally do force myself to walk in, I start sobbing and wailing as the waves of emotion wash over me that you are gone and you are not ever coming back. All the memories of all the times you greeted me at the door or came running when I called you come flooding back. It feels like someone is ripping my heart from my chest. It is so intense. The silence is deafening. A feeling of hopelessness settles in. Sometimes I cannot handle it and I have to leave the house. However, this remedy is short-lived because I have to come back eventually. When I do stay, I try to keep my mind occupied by doing mundane chores or losing myself on the internet. That works to a point until it is time to go to bed. I try to stay awake long into the night to avoid that time, hoping that when I do go to bed, I am so exhausted that I will fall asleep immediately. However, the crying starts again. You always came to bed with me. If you did not beat me in there, I would soon hear the pitter-patter of your paws after I was settled. You had your own bed next to mine. I would always, and still do to this day, tell you “goodnight Bandypants, I love you baby”. I am crying so bad at that point that I ask my guardian angels to help me get through the pain so I can fall asleep. That usually works along with the exhaustion and I fall asleep. When I wake up in the morning and look over to where you are no longer sleeping - the crying starts again.
Dear Lord, it hurts so much – down to the core of my being – down to my very soul. I did not think it would be this bad. It was not as if I did not know this day was coming. I put it off as long as I could. Everyone kept telling me that I was in denial because you would have bad days and then good days. I wanted to give you as much time as I possibly could. I would want someone to do the same for me. I took you riding as much as I was able since I had to work every day without a day off. I hold a lot of resentment because that was my last little bit of time with you and I feel that I was robbed of that time – it is not anything that I can ever get back.
At first, we could ride for hours, only pulling over when you let me know you needed to get out. I could see your nose sticking out the backside window when I looked in my side mirror. I used to get the biggest kick out of that. Then, as time went on, the rides got shorter and shorter. Still, we had our last ride at lunchtime before you had to go that day. I can still see you in the backseat when Larry dropped me off at work. You were sitting up in the back seat with your ears perked up looking at me as if you were thinking, “Where are you going mom?” That is my last memory of you and I see it every single day. Oh God, it hurts so much. I know you wondered why I was not going all the way down to the vet with you and that kills me. I am so sorry but I could not go with you. I was too upset and did not want you to sense that, which you would have instantly. I was a coward and I am so sorry. I will have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life.
I did not want you to get to the point where you were actually hurting. I hope that was not the case. The Lasix was not working anymore and the fluid had built up so much that it looked like you had swallowed two watermelons. The vet told me that it would get to the point where you would drown in your own fluids. When I could see that it was getting close to that time, I bought you steaks, beef tips, chicken ******* and turkey to eat. Anything you wanted to eat that would not poison you was okay with me.
That last night, I could tell that you were miserable trying so hard to get comfortable. When your breathing became more labored, I knew it was time. I could tell from the look in your eyes that you were over it.
I am supposed to be thankful that I had you for as long as I did and I am thankful. I took you for granted for a long time, which is also something that I will have to live with.
If there is really a Heaven, which I have all my life fully believed with all my heart, then we will see each other and be together once again. I hold on to that hope. That is the only thing that keeps me going. Every once in a while a thought will creep into my mind that I would be much happier in that other existence than the one I am in now. If not, then Heaven, for me, is not real. It would only be Heaven for me if I could see and be with all those I loved who have gone on before me – my furbabies included. This is the only thing that keeps me going because some days, I do not even want to get up and face a new day without those I have lost. One thing I have learned in my old age is that you cannot have anything great in life without the pain that eventually comes with it.
RIP: Bandita, my “Bandypants”
You are sorely missed.
March 2006 - October 27, 2016
Until we are together again …..
Nov 4, 2016
Nov 4, 2016 at 6:42 AM UTC
When I awoke from a nap today, before I opened my eyes, I knew.
I could hear her voice telling me that it was time to get up.
And then she told me “I want you to know that I am here and
I am watching over you.”
In my mind, I could see her looking so young and so ethereal.
As she started to fade, I cried, “Wait, I want to go too”
She smiled and whispered, “It’s not your time yet but always remember that
I am watching over you.”
She told me that the love between a mother and child still carries on even in death.
No matter what may have happened between the two.
“So always know that I am here and know that
I am watching over you.
When you are troubled, the world is dark, and you do not know what to do.
Just talk to me, you are never alone, rest assured
I am watching over you.”
She said, “When you lie down at night and whisper
‘I miss you momma’
And think that you are only talking to the darkness in the room.
It makes me smile for I realize you can feel me in your heart and know that
I am watching over you.”
Finally, she said, “When the world becomes too much to handle
And the smiles become too few.
When you are ready to depart this life, just take my hand
I have been waiting for you.”
Jul 3, 2016
Jul 3, 2016 at 2:07 AM UTC
“I Love You Bunches and Bunches”
In 2007, on Christmas Day, my brother told me “I love you bunches and bunches” and sent me on my way.
He died three days later of mesothelioma/cancer of the lung.
He was not very old at all, only 53 years young.
I was standing in his doorway and turned to say “good-bye”, as I had done so many times in the past.
He said “Hey”, looked at me over his glasses, smiled and said “I love you bunches and bunches”
I never thought those words to me would be his last.
I told him “I love you bunches and bunches too” trying to hold back my tears.
All the while, I was trying to hurry out the door before he saw in my eyes all my fears.
Eight years later when mom followed my brother, those words too were the last ones we spoke to one another.
Two days before she passed, she told me she was ready and that she “just wanted it to be over.”
All I could do was look at her lovingly, nod my understanding and tell her that I love her.
Even though the child in me wanted to scream “No God, please do not take my mother!”
I knew she wanted to go, as she was never the same after the death of my brother.
They say burying a child is the hardest thing to bear.
After my brother passed away, something in my mom was just no longer there.
My sister and I hoped that our mom would snap out of it and come back.
We never understood what it was our brother had that somehow we lacked.
I have always thought that when I lost my brother, I also lost my mom the same day.
She just never had any more interest in me or my sister’s lives in quite the same way.
Life had no meaning for our mother no matter what we said or tried.
It was like that for eight more years until the day she died.
She is with my brother now in Heaven and I am glad she is no longer in pain.
I guess with him she is basking in sunlight but down here with us, it was always just rain.
“I love you bunches and bunches” was the last thing I told my mom as I blew her a kiss from the door.
She smiled at me and said, “I love you bunches and bunches” and would never to me say anything more.
Feb 13, 2016
Feb 13, 2016 at 8:08 PM UTC
You smile
as you mentally
slip on your disguise.
You smile
as you look deeply
into their trusting eyes.
You smile
as you put into words
all the things they want to hear.
You smile
with a voice
that sounds so incredibly sincere.
You smile
while reveling in the fact
that they do not have a clue.
You smile
because you know
that they do not see the malevolent you.
You smile
so clever, so witty
in addition, you pour on the charm.
You smile
since you have them convinced
that you mean them no harm.
You smile
and begin to lose sight
of what is reality and what is a lie.
You smile
at your power
to always make them cry.
You smile
as you continue to play
not caring that it is a sick, twisted little game.
You smile
knowing that when you are through
you will not even remember their name.
You smile
as you realize
that you own them body and soul.
You smile
at their ignorance thinking to yourself
“You fool, how could you not know?”
You smile
as you continue *******
every bit of life out of them.
You smile
as you zoom in on and start stalking
your next impending victim.
You smile
as you move on
feeling no guilt or remorse and certainly without a care.
You smile
as you take all your ill-gotten gains
with you back to your lair.
You smile
with conceit and arrogance,
“This is a game I always win.”
You smile
and laugh aloud assured,
that you will get away with it again.
You smile ……….
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 10:36 PM UTC