I've always loved fog
How it makes everything around it
seem like it's holding some dark secret
and like it's different from how it usually is.
Fog brings out another side of everything.
It brings out the darkness and mysteriousness of it all.
And I love it.
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 2:45 PM UTC
I used to be terrified of horror movies
when I was only 5.
And I used to be terrified of horror movies
when I was only 7.
But by the time I turned only the age of 13
the horror movies didn't seem so scary.
I didn't get nightmares from movies like The Grudge
or even reading books like The Shining.
Now I can watch a horror movie that I was so terrified of when I was 5
and not even flinch at the scariest parts.
And that is because my life
has turned into it's own horror story.
And I am used to the everyday fears of my life
passing day by day.
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 3:39 PM UTC
All I do anymore is read.
read read READ
It's an escape from reality.
My mind drifts from the worries of the real world
and enter the action-packed adventures of whichever character I'm immersed into.
Or into the un-faltering love of the two starstruck characters that are happy with everything in life.
Even into the deep depression of another character, but as they get better it is even an adventure to me.
Books are my escape nowadays.
All I do is read
read
read.
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 2:51 PM UTC
I feel nothing
I can't cry
I can't laugh
I can't scream
because I feel nothing at all
not a single human emotion
courses through my veins
I feel like a machine
walking around
imitating a human being.
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 3:37 PM UTC
I care so much
but I care so little.
I care so much about people
but I don't give a **** about anyone.
I don't even know what i feel anymore.
It's all conflicting.
I say I wouldn't care
if you left me behind for good.
And part of me really doesn't care
but that other part of me
would be completely broken if you did leave me.
I listen to songs about
caring and loving you.
and I listen to songs about
not caring about anything
while I go get high
and drunk
and doing whatever I want.
And it proves
that I really don't know
how to feel.
Or what I feel.
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 1:16 PM UTC
Heaven or Hell?
It's an obvious answer.
Nobody wants to go to hell.
Even the worst of people don't want to spend a whole other life of pure pain.
Everybody wants to go to Heaven.
Even though nobody even knows what it is up there.
Or if it even
exists
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 3:55 PM UTC
It really *****
when your dreams
are so much better than your real life
that you just want to
sleep forever
and dream your whole life up
so that you can finally be happy
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 2:37 PM UTC
I can feel my bones shattering slowly under my own weight.
I haven't eaten in four days and I've only drank water when I'm having it forced down my throat by my Mother.
My heart hurts my chest with each throb, and I curl over in pain when I'm in bed.
Stuck in fetal position in the bathtub with the now-cold-water cascading over my body.
Each breath is now a sob and my body shakes from the cold and the uncontrollable tears.
I haven't bothered to brush my hair or wear actual clothes.
I've worn the same outfit for about a week now.
The same old gray sweats with unknown stains on them, matched with a black tank top with a large bleach stain on the back.
My breath probably also reeks because I've been to lazy to brush my teeth.
The only reason I shower is because my Mother drags me to the bathroom.
She doesn't want me to get more sick.
I can tell she's worried for me.
She's told the whole family what's wrong with me.
I've overheard her talking on the phone about me from my room, while she was in the living-room.
I'm surprised she hasn't called the police yet to bring me to a hospital.
I don't need a hospital anyways.
All I need is him
But of course that is no longer an option.
He's abandoned me.
Left me for dead.
He's known the affect he has on me for over a year now.
Of course he still uses it against me.
But it's too late now.
I was just his toy that he could mess around with.
And he's thrown me out into the trash.
Like every other toy that people get tired of.
I need to rid myself of these feelings.
It's dragging me down to hell.
It has affected my whole life.
I've decided to be finished with it.
I no longer want to live like this.
And I won't.
I'll bring death to myself
So I no longer have to live this way.
Feb 4, 2015
Feb 4, 2015 at 2:28 AM UTC
Love isn't real.
Love doesn't exist.
Love is only in books and movies.
Love isn't in this earth.
There's so many ways to say it.
That love isn't real.
That love crushes everybody eventually.
That love isn't happiness.
That love is happiness.
That love does exist.
But it's only for some people that love does exist.
We cannot generalize.
Just because we are broken.
It's just not for some people.
And it just is for other people.
But in some worlds.
In my world.
Love destroys.
Love crushes souls and breaks bones.
Love
kills.
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 4:13 PM UTC