You asked me what I dreamt,
I had dreamt of soup.
I could have told you that,
but I couldn't tell you this:
I dreamed that we were staring at soup.
It was green and thicker than peas.
I was stirring my spoon in and out of the bowl,
picking up the lurking liquid
dripping it right back into the murky waters.
We were silent, but after some time,
you said "I love you."
I said it back very quickly and casually,
it was as if I had told you before!
So you said it louder, you exclaimed it even stronger,
"I LOVE YOU."
Noodles immediately floated to the surface of the soup.
The thickness cleared to spell out the three words that
I had been wanting to say, and wanting you to say.
I burst into tears.
I picked up the spoon.
I scooped up the letters and ate "I love you".
Feb 25, 2020
Feb 25, 2020 at 9:38 PM UTC
the ghost in me
hides in you too
we pass the days holed up in our spaces, looking at the familiar faces
on screens they act, they type,
they talk through speakers
loud enough to drown the thoughts
we have to hear in darkness when
everything isn’t
so clear, the sky they say will be
soon I hope I can get over this
the piles lay
untouched in the laundry and the sink and every single time
I blink away the motivation like it will get done
tomorrow is another day but why not
why not today?
time is always ticking
faster I see the days go by
without accomplishing anything of any
significance, can’t you see the significance in the way you’re wasting away from here and into
the void that is tomorrow, it’s next week, it’s next month,
it’s not important
keep telling yourself
I need to be better
When is better?
Apr 11, 2019
Apr 11, 2019 at 12:33 AM UTC
It’s weird how time passes
Like how it was going to be your last show before you went away
And I didn’t go
But now I’m here and you’ve been back
We’re dating different people
I love him, you do not love her
But I know you think I look pretty tonight
And here I am bopping along to the song
I had heard in the studio that I thought was too repetitive
Waiting for the song you’ll never write about me
Mar 23, 2019
Mar 23, 2019 at 1:01 AM UTC
make new friends
they'll never know
what it is you've been through
hard to tell
knock down your walls
for fear they'll abandon you.
I want to be what I seem
I want people to know I'm okay
but sometimes I am not.
these present friends
cannot know the past secrets that haunt me
they will judge me
will they be true?
Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 10:50 PM UTC
your cousin is engaged
you hadn't seen it yet
the sad song plays
you haven't answered my text
the tears are hot
the room is melting
the song is screaming
you say you understand
can you say it again with feeling?
Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 10:39 PM UTC
Tell me how it feels to hide and bury your feelings so deep that only lies come out of your mouth,
to be dishonest and disloyal under the surface, yet appear so humble,
to manipulate someone into giving you everything you want while giving nothing in return,
to be loved by someone and throw them away without speaking to them,
to be so afraid that you cannot speak the truth but can still pretend that you are brave.
Tell me how it feels to carry the agenda of a sad man who has no heart in the empty cavity of his chest.
Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 10:35 PM UTC
the night was hot and sticky
the kind where you don't want to be touched
guitar chords were ringing through us
my lips stayed shut
an mmm erupted from you
it crawled out of your throat
into my ears and down my spine
I'm wishing I could float
did you see the feeling in my face change?
i tried my best to stay
stone cold statue
blood hot beside you
afraid of what you'd say
but i wanted you to touch me
right then and right there,
or even just to put your arm around me
instead of this feeling beside you here
sweat upon sweat
without feeling any heat
the tingle and the tension
our bodies surrender
under the pressure
lost of any prevention
Finally.
the last few notes leave the room pulsing,
and we are sighing.
Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 10:28 PM UTC
in the afterbreaths of ardor
there is something lingering
hanging in the air
creeping on my tongue
floating in my mouth
waiting at the edge of my vocal chords
MY HEART IS POUNDING.
I want to say it so badly
the taste is in my saliva
tingling from my tongue to my lips
swallowing the words before they escape
tensing my jaw along with the thought
clinging on to the phrase
MY HEART IS POUNDING.
it travels down my spine
never ceasing to leave me
crawling down each vertebrae
shivering my entire being
collapsing this sense of self
gripping on to me for good
MY HEART IS POUNDING.
in a harsh breath
the words exit quickly
breaking through the barrier
existing outside of my head
opening a new realm in the moment
echoing into the air: "I'm falling in love with you."
Jun 3, 2018
Jun 3, 2018 at 11:28 PM UTC
I hit my head so hard
it did not crack open.
I fell down every single step
and did not break a single bone.
Am I allowed to fall in love again?
Is it fair? I want it to be.
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 20, 2018 at 11:33 AM UTC
i have anxiety
undiagnosed.
sometimes it feels like my head is stuffed with crumpled ***** of paper: the things I never said, the things I should have never said, the things that someone never said to me.
all of these things are written on every piece of paper
there are so many right now that no more would be able to fit
yet i can't stop thinking things, i can't stop saying stupid things, i can't stop wishing things.
i sigh I reach up to my forehead and i grasp my bangs
with my shaky hands and pull
i'm hoping one day when i do this
the top of my head will yank open
all of these crumpled pieces of thoughts
will pour out in a pile
on the floor
i will kneel down
and uncrumple each and every piece
i will read each one
until my head fills up again.
Mar 19, 2018
Mar 19, 2018 at 11:41 PM UTC