you make me feel like i am incapable of love
i don’t even know you
May 4
May 4, 2026 at 4:36 AM UTC
to live as disabled,
is to announce to the world
that you are damaged goods.
the goods on clearance,
75%, maybe even 80% off.
the thrift store finds,
but only at the popular, "cool," chains.
the goods on the "FREE" shelf,
open for anyone to take,
but no one takes them.
Apr 15
Apr 15, 2026 at 6:38 PM UTC
albert nebel vl601;
made with spruce
and ebony pieces.
a steinway school,
ivory keys in every room.
what makes my body sturdy?
what is my foundation?
the joints and bones that fail to hold me up,
or
my heart and stomach that work overtime 24/7?
to learn music, you begin with the basics:
how to hold your instrument,
where to place your fingers,
how to stand,
how to read,
how to play.
my basics are failing me;
walking, standing, breathing,
heart beating.
without music, what am i?
if there is no music for me to play,
what is there for me to do?
if i am nothing without my music, my sound,
then is it over?
is my future ending as soon as its approaching?
to stand on stage,
to perform once more,
to play music without pain.
to live how i'd like to,
painless and full of notes
that make up msuic.
do i have to give up on that too?
Apr 15
Apr 15, 2026 at 6:35 PM UTC
oh God help me
put me out of my misery
i have prayed and prayed
kneeling, crying
for you to intervene
and let the divine being
come to me
please God
it hurts
it hurts so much
i spend every waking moment in pain
Please
Please God
let me go.
Feb 6
Feb 6, 2026 at 1:22 AM UTC
although everyone’s belongings
seem to be well taken care of
mine are always
in shambles
or damaged
or mistreated
i take care of your things
i clean your things well
i make sure they will not get damaged
but you do not do the same.
Aug 12, 2025
Aug 12, 2025 at 12:20 AM UTC
cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope cope
forget forget forget forget forget forget forg
Apr 16, 2025
Apr 16, 2025 at 9:50 PM UTC
i feel as if
i am not the one meant for this body
i am not meant to be here ?
i am not meant
i am not
i don’t know who this is
i don’t have a purpose
i don’t have a future
i have nothing
ii would be better off dead
Jan 25, 2025
Jan 25, 2025 at 3:39 AM UTC