Sweet soft powdery scent,
Your warm tiny body held in my little hand,
And our cord still pumping,
I gaze at you and hear the name "Celine" whispered from the corners of my head.
I can sometimes still feel you in my hand if I position just right.
Your blanket no longer smells of that sweet powdery scent but I press it to my chest evermore.
My tears burn of violet essence as they roll onto your blanket.
The cry I wish I heard haunts me more than anything.
The most delicate flower I have ever seen has been diminished into ash and put in this small heart shaped container.
Although beautiful nothing compares to a flower still connected to mother earth basking in the sun and swaying in a light breeze.
In a field of wild flowers you stand out and I can still smell your sweet soft powdery scent.
Your skin as soft as flower petals,
Your nose as small as a delicate leaf,
And the cord no longer pumping similar to a flower being plucked from the ground.
As I know too well a flower once picked will soon meet its demise.
But you are the most beautiful flower, and I will never forget the scent of you,
The feel of you,
Nor can you ever be replaced.
Finding the most perfect flower is impossible and I did.
Mar 9
Mar 9, 2026 at 7:05 AM UTC
As waves continue crashing,
Wind continues blowing,
And the seasons continue changing.
One thing that stays the same is my broken heart for you.
the turning of my stomach,
The ache in my heart,
The piercing memories of you.
Trying to fulfill this hole with accomplishments,
Happy Memories, and
New future plans does not rid me of melancholy.
Though I have another,
You baby blue will never be replaced.
Father Time had rushed me to pick up the pace.
But as long as I can remember your face.
Time will forever be frozen.
“How are you?”
Sounds of broken glass erupt as I crack a smile.
“I’m doing good.” Rather than
“I don’t want to be here anymore”
“I am incomplete”
“I can not go on”
But the waves keep crashing,
The wind continues blowing,
And the seasons continue to change….
But my love for you will never.
Oct 22, 2023
Oct 22, 2023 at 9:56 AM UTC
As my vision begins to blur and the voices sound so far , I can't help but wonder...
Is this it?
Outlines of people I cannot recognize ,
And sliding off the chair as I sit.
Like metal grinding together in my head,
And gravity pulls at one side of by body.
There's a witch brewing up a a poison in my stomach and It's put me in a sincape.
When I wake the bright lights make me assume that the great gates of heaven are opened to me.
right when I call for my lord and savior I am again put into the dark by this witch that's now in my head.
When I wake once more I am no longer at the gates , instead I am soiled in a hospital bed .
I guess god wants me to put up a fight,
And maybe what I saw were the EMT's flashing lights.
Right now I feel as if I had broke , and god has a cruel sense of humor . but that's only because I've had a stroke .
Jul 19, 2017
Jul 19, 2017 at 11:16 PM UTC
Help ! Help!
I can't breathe ,
As I get devoured by my emptiness and I can't breathe .
I smile at the lady that asks how I am doing ,
And I respond with "im great"
I feel as if I lose myself a little more every time I crack a smile across my face.
I've become quite the ***** some would say.
But what they don't know is that I'm simply defending myself .
Every time someone tells me they have a cute crush on me ,
I feel like a cornered animal .
Ready to attack if you get too close .
This emptiness I feel is always there .
As I drink my morning coffee ,
As I volunteer at shelter,
As my friends speak to me .
Like an uninvited guest that has over stayed their welcome .
An intruder in my heart .
Leave !
Get out !
You are not welcome !
Leave me alone !
But wait that is what you have done ,
And that is why I cannot breathe .
You have left me alone .
And now I fear this monster of melancholy.
Jun 28, 2017
Jun 28, 2017 at 2:33 AM UTC
I now realize that I am not a mule.
I do not have to carry people and their burdens on my back.
I do not have to be slowed down or held back by the weight of others.
I will no longer be controlled by others.
I am a stallion.
Free to roam wherever,
Moving fast and majestically,
I carry my own weight.
And when I am with a group of my kind,
We will not hold back or let anyone take a ride.
I am a stallion ,
and stallions do not carry people.
Dec 13, 2014
Dec 13, 2014 at 3:05 PM UTC
stare into the depths of the sky
and you shall not see anything but an eternity of space.
but *close your eyes and you see more than the world can offer.
this my dear is called imagination*,
and it gives us hope and helps us push forward.
Dec 13, 2014
Dec 13, 2014 at 1:11 AM UTC
i can love the moon, and the flowers.
its time that i come out of the dark.
rise up from my ashes and let myself be put back together.
its time that i feel the suns warmth on my skin,
but also be strong enough to feel the bees stings that pierce, and hurt me.
its time to embrace life, and all of it.
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 2:05 AM UTC
beautiful things don't ask for attention.
they often roam around silently.
just like a polar bear, or snow leopard.
gorgeous but not always seen at first glance.
take a second look and you might just see that the world,
well the world isn't as ugly as we make it seem.
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 1:51 AM UTC
in 2012 i experienced an incident with a rifle. my friend spinned it around and hit me in the face. the hit was hard enough to break my nose and make me fly backwards and land on the back of my head.
after that i started having seizures. cluster seizures which mean seizures back to back. they have to be stopped by iv or i can go into status epilepticus meaning continued or back to back seizures that can **** people. there have been several times where my heart has stopped or i stopped breathing from it. its hard to live with. soooo many pills, and doctors, specialists to help diagnose me. just about a month ago i was diagnosed with tbi (traumatic brain injury) before i was diagnosed i was so upset with everything. my health my relationship, my family problems. it just piled up so i decided to numb myself with drugs and alcohol. i no longer can do that because the last time i did i woke up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. i have right hemisphere disfunction and it effects my motor skills, speech, memory, decision making, confusion, and at this point the doctors say that my memory and confusion is dementia. sometimes i try to tell myself i don't need help, im fine, i don't need anyone, or that the doctors made a mistake. but they didn't and that was proven to me today when i saw my eeg, and mri. i have built up white matter in my brain. and it only gets worse . i can never regain anything ive lost but i can learn how deal with it and move on from now. i can never be independent in the part of just living alone. i would like to marry the man of my dreams but i don't think i want to put him through all of this. he would have to take care of me when i get sick, and i get sick often due to my weak immune system. one hit in the face and my whole body went out of whack. we also recently discovered that i have a bundle branch block in my heart which means it is a condition in which there's a delay or obstruction along the pathway that electrical impulses travel to make your heart beat. i have a dog that can smell my auras which are mild seizures like warnings that a big one will come. but he can only do so much . squeeze under my head and bark for help.
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 10:31 PM UTC
*I love you and you love me but is that enough?
living together will be very tough.
I cant ever be alone because I might seize,
and you say youre up to it but I don't think youre ready.
the partying has to stop,
the drugs I have to drop,
and the pills I can no longer pop.
marijuana wont harm my condition,
but to decide whether youre up to it is your decision.
you say that you will, but actions speak louder than words.
and to be honest I think im a ******* curse.
I don't want to burden anyone,
but doctors say that eventually I wont be strong.
strong enough to walk at the park with out running out of breath quickly,
you know **** well im already sickly.
I burn the food because I forget to turn the stove off,
all the medication makes me weak and soft.
it only gets worse from here.
so this car is out of control , will you steer?
I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want this,
but please don't lie to my face and end it with a kiss.
youre all in , or youre all out.
I love you but is it enough?*
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 10:06 PM UTC