Every day is a different story,
But cycles tend to form.
Cycles, cycles, cycles, cycles, cycles.
Compulsive, depressive, manic, crazy.
It’s like a CD skip- skip- skip- skipping,
But it’s not like she can remember why she was mad in the first place.
Doesn’t recall the fight you yelled at her for,
Can’t seem to forget her love for you though.
Roller coasters are her favorite.
Did you hear me? IRONY AT ITS FINEST.
Up and down and around and around,
Riding and being thrown by the waves over and over.
Thank you for putting up with her swinging,
Back and forth, like two-face.
She can’t control it, she didn’t want to be this way,
But God said she was strong enough...isn’t she?
At least she has good music tastes,
Riding around, the stations changing with her beautiful moods.
Smoke blowing out the windows,
She’s the one the music talks about: Here and Gone without a trace.
Do you think she ever gets tired?
Tired trying to keep up with her day to day phases?
Pha- Pha- Phases like the moon.
Beauty ever changing, but silent. Stuck in her head.
You love her though right?
I mean, think about it.
When it’s a good day, she’s so understanding and chill and all-around perfect.
Those days make every other worth it.
Right?
God bless the cycles, cycles, cy- cy- cycles.
For one whole day she’s uncontrollable.
Asking you a million questions and wanting to hug you for as long and as tight as she can.
Kisses, “I love yous,” excitement, annoyance.
“Can we get a pet octopus?
Oh pretty pretty please?
Can I cut my hair or dye it bright pink?”
“You hate pink” you say, but there she goes again.
Down down down the rabbit hole.
Off again she goes.
Hair flying in the breeze, that perfume you bought her still on your shirt.
Irri- irri- irritate- irritation.
The day very next, not even 24 hours yet,
Tears falling down her face, rivers of black eyeliner.
She doesn’t get out of bed.
“Baby what’s wrong?”
Nothing is ever truly wrong.
It’s like a weight on her chest, suppressing her every move.
A deep, black hole in the pit of her stomach, isn’t that what she said?
Misery at its finest. Almost like she’s already dead.
Why put up with her then?
Why ride this roller coaster?
Why hold her tight when she laughs?
Why hold her tight when she cries?
You see, why would anyone in the first place?
In fact, there’s no perks to dating a bipolar girl.
Not one.
Not at all.
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 28, 2018 at 12:02 AM UTC
Imagine with me...
Trapped and scared, head pounding.
Darkness all around us,
Loud noise, all resounding.
The familiar ache inside your chest,
Killing you from inside, burning hot.
Spreading like the wildfire,
Nothing will shake it, seconds left you've got.
Can you hear them above the roar?
Or are you stuck inside your head again?
Open your eyes, little one,
Look through the dark clouds, but what then?
Do you feel the rain beat against your face,
Do you feel anything but pain?
We're caught, you see, caught in the in-between,
Are you alive, little one? Are you still sane?
These nights you lay awake,
I'm right there with you.
I know how much you fear what's hiding in the dark,
But I face them too.
Wrong side of Heaven,
Righteous side of Hell.
We don't belong anywhere,
But don't worry, I'll never tell.
Feb 5, 2018
Feb 5, 2018 at 2:45 AM UTC
That rare occurrence when everything gets quiet,
That rare sensation when everything stops for a moment.
It's almost too calm, like the eye of a storm,
That rare feeling when everything and nothing are the main components.
No one speaks, and nothing is heard,
Nothing moves, and no one breathes.
Don't let this calmness go away,
Don't disturb it, don't let it flee.
A rushing waterfall of emotion,
No room for anything more.
A rushing river of sights, sounds, and feelings,
That one sensation that won't let me close the door.
When will this end?
This roller coaster inside of me.
These waves of emotion that sweep over my heart, my body,
Drowning me, until I can't breathe.
Jun 22, 2017
Jun 22, 2017 at 3:08 PM UTC
My Heart was spiderweb shattered,
The pieces fell to the floor with a clatter.
The skies went dark and the stars came alive,
The rain soaked my heart and raced down my cheeks as I cried.
I looked up to see a face,
A handsome face in a dreary place.
He smiled at me with a crooked grin,
And I smiled back, right at him.
The boy I saw was Peter Pan,
I'll go with him to Neverland.
And as he guides me through the night,
We'll make it safe by morning's light.
Nov 28, 2016
Nov 28, 2016 at 12:43 PM UTC
These lonely nights I laid awake
Please just take my pain away
Never before has the emptiness inside
Been so prominent and on my side
If anyone is there just let me know
I'll scream your name and "Please don't go."
Nov 1, 2016
Nov 1, 2016 at 8:02 PM UTC
The world is moving too fast for me.
It whirls around so fast that I can't breathe.
I don't know what to do anymore.
Deep breath...in, out.
Deep breath...in, out.
Sep 5, 2016
Sep 5, 2016 at 9:03 PM UTC
Can you hear me?
Can you see my pain?
These fears chasing each other around in my brain.
Can you get my attention?
Pull me out of my fantasies.
Can you help me?
Can you understand me?
Jul 13, 2016
Jul 13, 2016 at 11:27 AM UTC
This car that takes me
takes me where i should go
This place i have found myself
found myself wanting
These voices in my head
in my head screaming
The gunshot that haunts me
haunts me till im numb
The people here for me
here for me and loving me
They dont seem to hear
to hear my words
These words i cry
i cry for the loss
This loss of my self
my self that cannot become
The silence that deafens me
deafens me to a breaking point
The tears that fall
fall down my cheeks
The dry, burning pain
pain that no one else can see
These fears that i have
i have that im finally coming out to see.
Jul 13, 2016
Jul 13, 2016 at 11:24 AM UTC
all these voices
screaming
screaming at me
all these opinions
calling
calling for me
all these people
killing
killing me slowly
Jun 30, 2016
Jun 30, 2016 at 11:29 AM UTC
blackout
the aching panic
loss of control
shaking
speaking
cannot see
voices pounding inside my skull
forgetting everything
Mar 1, 2016
Mar 1, 2016 at 11:21 AM UTC