Be a man.
**** it up.
That’s what they tell you
when your hands shake
and your chest feels hollow.
“No pain.
You’re delusional.
You’re weak.”
So you bite your tongue
till it bleeds quiet,
swallow every feeling
like it’s something to be ashamed of.
Take these meds.
You’ll feel better.
But the numbness spreads
like winter through your veins,
until you can’t tell
if your heart stopped hurting
or just stopped feeling.
Bottle it up.
Hold it in.
Keep smiling.
Even when your right hand goes numb
from punching walls
that never hit back.
Even when the headache pounds
like guilt behind your eyes.
“You’re just like your dad,”
they say,
as if pain is inherited,
as if breaking was destiny.
And still—
you hide the blade,
call that survival,
call that strength.
Because men don’t cry, right?
Men endure.
Men rot in silence
while everyone claps for how well they carry it.
Nobody cares.
That’s the lesson.
If you open up,
they laugh.
At your voice.
Your body.
The parts of yourself
you already learned to hate first.
So be a man.
**** it up.
Smile through the numbness.
And pray
there’s still something human left in you
May 22
May 22, 2026 at 4:27 AM UTC
My heart is dead
My mind is busy
My body is shaking
As I am scared
As I am sad
As I am trapped
As I am trapped in my sadness and I am scared
Parasites running through my veins
Parasites that won't leave me to my own pain
I am in my head
A head filled with parasites
I am SAD
and I am dead
May 17
May 17, 2026 at 11:56 PM UTC
I'm in love I say
as her eyes gaze at mine
my love for u will stay
until I perish or fall
or have a sword straight though my brain
My heart will not grow small
As u help my heart beat once more
my spark was once ash
Like a smoke all done
Like flower in the winter
i was like a dead son
But u grew my spark
And now i can love
I love you
I love the way you are
I love the way you talk
I love that you don't blame me for my insecurities
Or tell me to shut up
I love u J
May 12
May 12, 2026 at 9:37 PM UTC
my vision is gone as my eyes are shut
As I try to sleep
Black is better than purple I’d say
I'm stuck with my thoughts
It is quiet
Too quiet for this
No screaming
No yelling
No Punches thrown
black is not a color but a sense of home
I am at peace
But this is not home
May 10
May 10, 2026 at 8:22 PM UTC
I have no name
but I live in your stomach
Weighing you down
Not letting u eat
Not letting u sleep
I am unnamed
But u will know I'm here
I am pride
I am greed
I am lust
I am anger
I am the 7 sins you carry around
The shame
The guilt
I will not leave
Apr 27
Apr 27, 2026 at 9:38 PM UTC
If I'm a man
Can I cry
Cry I cry in your arms
I just want to cry
But I am a man
1,400 a day
Why can I not speak up
My thoughts don't come out
My throat will not shout
My head is numb
if I am a man can I CRY
1,400 a day
720,000 a year
Apr 27
Apr 27, 2026 at 9:20 PM UTC
Therapy should help
But why do I feel so ****
Why do I feel numb
I want feel
Not just happy
Not just sad
I want to feel
But how do I feel
When I’m dosed up on meds
Meds make me feel numb
I want feel
Not just happy
Not just sad
I want to feel something
Mar 26
Mar 26, 2026 at 12:46 AM UTC
If you're fighting the devil
Is ****** ok
What if the devil u see
Has a wife and kids
That won't have a pops too live with
Why **** when you can help
But no thats not up to you to figure out
your ears are ringing
from all the guns going off
how unfortunate you must be
to suffer a fate
worse than death
Mar 1
Mar 1, 2026 at 7:01 PM UTC
it never ends
the way i feel about myself
it never ends
the relationships i failed
it never ends
why cant i just be normal
why does it never end
Feb 24
Feb 24, 2026 at 8:07 PM UTC
Why do I feel like this
The way my body is numb
At least I don't feel pain
But I want to feel something
Maybe I'm not meant to be ok
Feb 24
Feb 24, 2026 at 8:01 PM UTC