wrapped. entangled. intertwined.
but undeniably terrified
airy. light. entranced.
without even a second glance
the restlessness; the anxiety
the sheer lack of sobriety
devour the last of my fear
watch the cloud disappear
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 19, 2019 at 12:21 AM UTC
there's no explanation as to why i continue
why i was so set on you
the high hopes and continuous let downs
lying would be that i never swore you off
that i haven't lied
that i fell for you long before i knew i did
what you do with that information
is ultimately up to you
Feb 13, 2019
Feb 13, 2019 at 8:24 PM UTC
my mind starts to drift and the walls seem to fade
as the wind placidly calms; my heart became staid.
every sense of you lingers; touch, smell and taste
begging for your hands secured around my waist.
vulnerable. susceptible.
safe. protected.
i'm terrified but excited; so eager to be frightened
these butterflies i refuse to ignore.
Feb 13, 2019
Feb 13, 2019 at 12:59 AM UTC
In the darkness that covers me I can see a few little stars
The brightness that still burns amidst hopelessness, the shame, the self resentment
Little stars still burn to show me
That there is hope somewhere in the universe
Little stars still burn to show me
That I still have time to make this right
I may not have the ability to change your mind - but I can change mine
Aug 13, 2018
Aug 13, 2018 at 12:10 PM UTC
What were you thinking when you laid eyes on me
Please, tell me - what is it now that you see?
Do you see my emotions? Can you see right through?
Do I have anything left? Or am I transparent to you?
So used to the suffering, So used to regret.
I keep moving forward with the hopes I'll forget.
You do not fully understand the chains I bare
Slicing me open, convinced the damage is beyond repair.
But, if there is anything that I have learned -
All cuts heal, by nature or if burned.
Jan 12, 2016
Jan 12, 2016 at 1:47 PM UTC
I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to live.
There is nothing more that this body can give.
I’ve lost the fight - I’ve been defeated
I deserve this - this is how I should be treated
This is excruciating, agonizing - downright unbearable
I hate myself and my life is ******* terrible
I just want to give up - throw in the towel
I look in the mirror and what I see is foul
Just let me go
Just let me be
Let me **** this body so I don’t have to struggle to breathe.
Sep 18, 2015
Sep 18, 2015 at 1:29 PM UTC
Sometimes I find myself wondering how my life would be if you were still alive.
I know that you’re gone, but most of the time I still feel you here. I still feel you on the other side of the phone.
Recently, I wonder what he would say to me if I could hear him in heaven. I wonder what kind of advice he has, or some silly joke.
Aug 6, 2015
Aug 6, 2015 at 4:23 PM UTC
I wear around my neck, the memory of two.
One is gone forever and the other one is you.
Six years - a roller coaster - of emotions.
A love as deep as the untamed oceans.
But the depth, I found, was not deep
It must have been a dream in my sleep
I wish this was a nightmare so I could wake
Into a life where I never made mistakes
So that you could love me, the way I love you.
Without the pain I put you through
Jun 29, 2015
Jun 29, 2015 at 1:12 PM UTC